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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To speak to teacher regarding website use at school?

36 replies

Highupintheair · 02/12/2013 07:19

On Friday dd came home and told us that in one lesson at school they'd been working on names and finding out the meanings of their names on the web. According to dd the teacher they had at the time (not dd's regular teacher, they split into other classes for some work) told them to go on urbandictionary to look up their names. If anyone's been on that site they can see the problem already. DD was partnered with a boy in her class and they looked up his name first to find the meaning and unsurprisingly the results included quite strong sexual references, including to 'fucking'. DD told the teacher who then told the class to carry on looking their names up on Google instead.

Now I'm not intending to go in all guns blazing, I'm well aware dc's versions of events aren't gospel and kids are capable of finding bad stuff on the web, but I thought immediately that I needed to have a quiet word this morning with dd's teacher just to make him aware in case internet filters need to be tightened or this other teacher needs to remember to check which sites she's directing the kids to IF she did tell them to go on there.

DP agreed on Friday but over the weekend has rethought and thinks we shouldn't say anything as the teacher was told (by dd) so nothing more needs to be said. AIBU to have a quiet word - if only to check whether dd was right and they were specifically told to go on there, which would be a massive error of judgement imo?

OP posts:
Morgause · 02/12/2013 07:21

If it's a secondary school I'd leave it. By then they've found the urban dictionary anyway.

RedHelenB · 02/12/2013 07:22

If it was just words not images i wouldn't be getting my knickers in a twist, it's no different from looking up words in a paper version! And as your dp has said the teacher sorted it out then & there when a problem arose.

Original poster
Highupintheair · 02/12/2013 07:22

Sorry, forgot to say! It's primary, dd is Y6.

OP posts:
Original poster
Highupintheair · 02/12/2013 07:25

RedHelen - agree to a point, am not getting my knickers in a twist about the actual words, we talked through what dd had seen just like anything 'mature' she runs into. Am more concerned if they were directed to that site in the first place, even the index down the side is nothing but a list of extremely mature words.

OP posts:
livinginwonderland · 02/12/2013 07:27

I think by Y6 I had seen urban dictionary and had looked up some pretty crude stuff online. Most 11 year olds know swear words aren't "acceptable" but they do know what they mean. It wasn't great judgement by the teacher but I don't think it's anything to get your knickers in a twist about.

BloominNora · 02/12/2013 07:30

I'd say something to be honest. Urban Dictionary should be on their blocked list anyway and a teacher certainly shouldn't be directing 11 year olds to go there.

LindyHemming · 02/12/2013 07:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Highupintheair · 02/12/2013 07:34

Thanks Bloomin - dd is one of the youngest so only 10 as well, was very surprised the whole site wasn't blocked, it's not like Wikipedia where there's a good reason to go on.

living - maybe dd is quite sheltered but we still carefully monitor her internet usage so she definitely hasn't seen 'pretty crude' stuff at home and I'm well aware some of her classmates talk about sex etc but that's different to being directed to it in school time.

OP posts:
Original poster
Highupintheair · 02/12/2013 07:36

Euphemia - definitely, and I'm just as Hmm about using UD for it's total lack of any real facts as for the language.

OP posts:
HalfSpamHalfBrisket · 02/12/2013 07:36

I'm responsible for e-safety at my primary. If I was you, I would definitely go in - not 'all guns blazing' but to point out the problem so it can be fixed.
Ask what 'safe search' the children should be using (we use 'PrimaryICT safesearch' in KS1 and 'Swiggle' in KS2). Ask them why the teacher was not making them use the safe search.

It may be that they are not using a safe search - which would be a major issue that the ICT coordinator/E-safety person should be fixing pronto.
It may be that new/supply teachers don't know they should be using a safe search, which means teachers need some (refresher) training.

In either case - e-safety is a huge and important issue, and this needs to be addressed not brushed under the carpet.

livinginwonderland · 02/12/2013 07:38

I didn't look it up at home either. My parents had programmes to restrict my internet use and what I could look up at home (bad language etc. was filtered until I was about 14) but I still managed to see it at friends houses, at school and I quickly learned to get around the filters my parents had in place.

I don't think she was directed there deliberately. I think the teacher made a mistake (probably forgot how crude urban dictionary can be) and corrected it when someone pointed it out to her. No harm done imo. If it had been a graphic porn site, I would talk to her, but in the grand scheme of things I don't think urbandictionary is really that awful, especially because she corrected her mistake asap.

Shente · 02/12/2013 07:38

I can't believe anyone thinks it's ok to tell y6 pupils to go onto urban dictionary. I would not tell my y13 students to do this (although I'm sure they would all know about it) as a teacher we should not be encouraging pupils to engage with inappropriate content. Yes I think you should talk to the teacher and I would be surprised if other parents don't.

YouTheCat · 02/12/2013 07:40

School's blocking filter things should be set much higher. It's not an all guns blazing situation but It's worth mentioning.

Original poster
Highupintheair · 02/12/2013 07:40

Thanks for the info HalfSpam - was wondering why they weren't using a safesearch but thought maybe not all schools did or something. Am definitely not going to have a go at the teacher or anything, just want to check it wasn't dd giving me the wrong story, and to know this isn't regular practice in the school.

OP posts:
Morgause · 02/12/2013 07:42

Yes, I'd mention it quietly at that age.

MinesAPintOfTea · 02/12/2013 07:44

Of course its inappropriate to encourage them to use it and make everyone aware of it.

And its not like using a paper dictionary because UD gives slang definitions which sometimes describe sex acts a child wouldn't find in a proper dictionary (can't think of a name, but rimming, submissive etc)

Original poster
Highupintheair · 02/12/2013 07:44

Think I will talk to dd's teacher (don't know this other teacher concerned) just to raise the issue and ask about safe searches etc. Agree Shente, was shocked at the idea that a teacher casually would (IF dd's story is 100% accurate) and am surprised anyone here thinks that'd be ok just because they might have seen it anyway. Am well aware dd could be looking up porn soon enough but don't expect the school to allow it.

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Bradsplit · 02/12/2013 07:45

Urban dictionary ? For names ? I'd email the teacher

Bradsplit · 02/12/2013 07:45

Agree it's not ok for a school to sanction use. Very odd.

Please don't go in all guns blazing though

Original poster
Highupintheair · 02/12/2013 07:46

Exactly Mines - look up penis or something in the dictionary, especially dd's 'school' dictionary, and you get a very bland factual description. UD is very graphic.

OP posts:
Original poster
Highupintheair · 02/12/2013 07:48

Definitely definitely not going in all guns blazing, dd might not have told me the whole correct story and if she has then having a go would probably make the teacher just react rather than explain. But will be having a word just to hopefully prevent it happening again.

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HavantGuard · 02/12/2013 07:53

I find it very hard to believe any teacher would have sent children to look up anything on Urban Dictionary.

Original poster
Highupintheair · 02/12/2013 07:54

Havant - me too, but dd is pretty truthful when she's sure about something. That doesn't mean I'm taking her word for it but I do need to check.

Going to nip off now for school run, will update later, thanks for all the help.

OP posts:
Jaynebxl · 02/12/2013 08:13

Blimey I'm stunned UD got through the school fikter! It definitely needs pointing out. Hope you get on ok.

HavantGuard · 02/12/2013 08:24

It's just so bizarre. Not only is it an inappropriate site, there are so many totally safe places to look up names that would give more information.

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