quick straw poll please. Contact details while abroad.

[nefelibata]

XH is away abroad with his GF.

There are many reasons I feel ranty about this, which I won't go into here - suffice to say there are few words that could express how much I detest this man. Most of them are bloody good reasons.

However, putting all that rage to one side, I would like a straw poll of AIBU to expect my DC's other parent to leave contact information when he goes out of the country for 12 days?

I only discovered he has left the country because his mum returned our DC from contact today and rather embarrassingly let me know that he's actually fucked off to Egypt, again. He's given no information to anyone about where he is only that he'll 'check emails' while he's away.

I really just want to know whether my general rage in his direction is making me overreact to this, or whether it is actually disgustingly inadequate.

If he chooses not to give contact details he can't then complain if he does not know about any emergencies

Simple really

YABU to expect your ex to tell you about his holiday with his gf when there is clearly so much bad feeling between you.

oh yes, mouldybird, nefelibata should just put aside being treated like total crap, dictated to, ignored, made to feel like shit etc. etc. simply because she happens to have children with a man and be friendly and nice and bright and breezy all the fucking time.

nefelibata - we were married to the same man, down to affairs when pregnant (he eventually left me pregnant as a matter of fact). I have just had a fight this week because he a) refuses to tell me the address he is now living at which is a good 40 minutes away and b) because he now wants to re-arrange contact to suit his new living arrangements but doesn't want to acknowledge that this will have a massive impact on me and the children and if I hadn't put a contingency in place several years ago ( a contingency that costs me a small fortune) , could have cost me my job. He also doesn't pay ANY maintenance and hasn't for over 5 years now (which is why he doesn't want me knowing his new address so he can keep the new live-in girlfriend from knowing what he's really like, what with CSA paperwork dropping through the doorstep on a regular basis).

I take it all with a pinch of salt. I laugh to myself and yes, the children are fully aware of who they can rely on and I don't have to say a word or even so much as role my eyes.

The bottom line is, unless there have been harassment issues (which is certainly not the case with me), both parents should take great care to keep each other up-dated on their general whereabouts 'in case of emergency'. Oh and funky, presumably you'll be happy for the ex to move and not bother telling you where to? or is it a one-way thing you're opearting?

It's very strange to go on holiday without a mobile...I don't actually believe he has left it at home.

Reading between the lines, it looks as though he just doesn't want the animosity you feel, to affect his holiday.

I've half a mind that if anything was wrong with the kids, you'd contact his Mum and she would ring him.

Just my guess though.