Need some advice.
A close family relative was diagnosed with low mood/depression summer 2012; symptoms of crying, anxiety etc. a lot to do with money issues which are now resolved. She's in her mid forties and has four children age range 14 to 8, youngest two have recently been diagnosed with a specific learning difficulty.
Since last year we've all supported where we can. She threw herself in to reading books. Literally, 4-5 books a week. This went on, she went back to work (part time nights shifts, no more than 2 a week) and was referred for counselling. She went to one session and didn't go back; the comment made to me "the counsellor told me to stop reading and do more with the kids. She just doesn't get it".
So, fast forward to now. I've found out she's still dealing with it in the same way but to the extreme - she's reading all of the time, from the minute she wakes up to when she goes to bed.
She's replaced crying and feeling anxious with reading; now allegedly at the detriment of her children. I've been told the middle child is helping the youngest with their reading and homework each night, she doesn't read with them; she literally gets up, reads, older children help young ones get breakfast, she takes young ones to school, comes home, reads all day, picks kids up and goes back to reading; she'll do dinner or her DH will do it when he gets in from work.
Her and her DH have started going out more too; so every other weekend getting quite drunk on a Friday night (they get a baby sitter for kids) and then Sat morning the kids take care of themselves whilst she stops in bed for most of the day (reading) and her DH gets up with them
I keep asking if she spoke with the youngest' school yet about the diagnosis and she's half heartily said she would before half term. That has been and gone and still no 'get up and go' in her to get some support for them. My DP is a teacher and has given her advice and recommended a book on the diagnosis - she's still not read it.
I'm concerned. I trust the source that has told me, although it could be exaggerated a little. I can't give too much away here as it will out me. The person has said her DH is ignoring it and burying his head in the sand with her - so does more with the children etc.
We're close and we used to speak a lot, she's been a big support to me in the past. However she never calls me though - I always call her and I always ask how things are and she dismisses her feelings saying "I'm ok" and then we talk about what's happened that week or whatever.
I know the children are absolutely fine and not in danger; they are very independent and always have been, but this information I've been given is concerning me.
It isn't what you'd deem as a stereotypical 'neglect' scenario in my eyes. Both parents work, they take them out and have a good support network around them.
So, what the hell do I do? Do I even do anything? I know a bit about mental health illnesses but is this normal to completely throw yourself in to something at the detriment of actually living your life and seeing your children are 'ok'?
AIBU to perhaps talk to her DH to see if any of the information I've been given is true? I could talk to another relative but would be worried she would be a bull in a china shop with the information I give her (detailed above).