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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hold a party

12 replies

LondonOx · 30/11/2013 16:30

Not just an AIBU but also a what would you do? We are a house of students planning to hold a party to celebrate the end of term next Friday. We held one party right at the beginning of this term which was on a Friday and finished by about 11:30/12 but one neighbour complained a number of times even when after we turned the music off about 11. When we went round yesterday to tell them that we were having a party the owner was really quite difficult about it, she insisted on showing us where the wall of our house connects to hers (our sitting room/kitchen is on the second floor and against the hall of their house). She actually said "will our wall be shaking", which seemed a bit of an over-reaction and was in general pretty rude given that we were just trying to be polite and give them fair warning. AIBU to think that given they have chosen to live in a particularly student dominated area (at least 75% of the houses on the road are lived in by students) they could be slightly more reasonable when it comes to dealing with their neighours. If we are being unreasonable to have a party, what should we do to make it better?

OP posts:
FrenchRuby · 30/11/2013 16:36

I'm a student (and a mum) and I don't think yabu. As long as it's not obscenely loud and it's done at a reasonable time? It's not like it's every week is it? And you gave them warning.
Though I went to one of my uni friends house parties last week and it was crazy :/ ended at 3am with the police (I left way before then) so make sure it's not like that.

lljkk · 30/11/2013 16:37

Invite her or at least buy her a nice bottle of wine!
You've given a week's notice, that helps too.
Keep the volume down, at least after 10pm. And very quiet from midnight.

babywipesaremagic · 30/11/2013 16:38

Yanbu. Maybe buy them a bottle of something on that night with a little thank you for understanding note. Even if they are still annoyed people find it harder to be awkward when you have just thanked them.
If it's only once in a while and on a weekend night there is no reason you shouldn't host a party. Giving advance warning was considerate, if they hate parties so much they can make plans to be somewhere else or earplugs.

BrandiBroke · 30/11/2013 16:54

I don't think you are being unreasonable - especially as you have warned them about it. We live next door to students and they host parties without telling us, which I don't particularly mind but they can be any night of the week and tend to spill into the road. Also, the other week a couple of the guys were outside urinating against a tree opposite our house which I thought was unnecessary!

This lot aren't too bad though but a couple of years ago the students there at the time were really loud and inconsiderate. They had at least one party a week and the parties went on till about 2am. I did once call the police because I'd gone over at 2.30am to ask them to turn the music down, and found out that the group of people sitting on an upstairs window ledge were total strangers that had walked past after clubbing and decided to stay, and it wasn't any quieter at 3am. Also, next door to them on the other side of them is an old people's home, so I thought they were being really rude.

Original poster
LondonOx · 30/11/2013 17:02

I think the main problem is that they've lived on the street for awhile and every year they get new groups of students on both sides and they've had inconsiderate students in the past. However that means now even when we're not being particularly difficult they are quite hostile because they link us with the tenants that they've had in the past so they're more sensative to it.

OP posts:
sandfrog · 30/11/2013 18:23

Maybe they didn't choose to live in an area dominated by students. They might have been unaware of this when they moved in.

Why not arrange a dinner or get-together at a local venue instead? Then you can all relax without worrying what the neighbours will be thinking.

Nanny0gg · 30/11/2013 19:10

I wish my much older neighbours were as considerate as you!

I think you've done enough by giving them advance warning. As long as it doesn't go on till 2am and your guests are 'reasonably' considerate leaving then I don't see a problem.

It's one night - and could clearly have been much worse!

Floggingmolly · 30/11/2013 19:36

First rule of having a party - invite the neighbours!

BoneyBackJefferson · 30/11/2013 20:53

If you know that its going to upset the neighbours then YABU.

(that doesn't make the neighbours any less unreasonable)

ffluffy · 01/12/2013 22:17

I've been on both sides of this - I've been a student and been to loud house parties etc. But also now as someone who works, I value my weekend and do not want to hear loud music and drunk people after 11 even on Friday and Saturday nights.

They may not have chosen to live in a student-dominated area when they bought the house. Even if they did move recently, just because you're students doesn't mean you have the right to disturb people, even at the weekend. If you live in a uni town, I'm sure there are plenty of bars and clubs you could all go to.

I don't think ybu and actually being very considerate by warning them. However, my advice would be to arrange the party to last until 10-11 and then all go out somewhere. Even if you've switched the music off, the noise from a group of people can be very disturbing, especially if there are people outside.

whois · 02/12/2013 00:14

A party once a term with fair warning seems hight R from students!

whois · 02/12/2013 00:16

However, my advice would be to arrange the party to last until 10-11 and then all go out somewhere

^ Good advice.

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