to have a word with the babysitter?

[LoopyLobster]

DH and I went out tonight (in Asia - time difference) and left the DCs with their usual babysitter (an adult who has her own kids).

I was tired, so came home earlier than expected, to find DD on the sofa with the ipad, at 11.30pm. I asked what she was doing, the babysitter said "she said she wasn't finished playing". Of course she did - she's 2 FGS! You don't ask a 2 year old her opinion on bed time!

I put DD to bed and sat with the babysitter, going through bed time expectations. Again. She just can't say no to them. Do I need to find a new babysitter? They have her once a week, so it's not that we can say 'oh, it's a treat every now and then'. They really love her, and she them, so I wouldn't want to replace her really, but it's so annoying that she lets them do whatever they like. What can I do?

Can you put your daughter to bed before you go out, or is that inconvenient?

Otherwise, I'd just tell the babysitter to put her to bed at the specific time and expect her to do it otherwise I'd have to find someone else.

Your kids your rules I'm afraid. She is your employee and should adhere to your stipulations.

Can you not put dd in bed before you go out or in general she wont say no to anything .

x post!

We went out at 6, so too early. Sometimes we go out later, depending on what we're doing, but the babysitter really likes to see them, so even if we're putting them to bed when she arrives, she asks if they can stay up a little longer so she can play with them, then puts them to bed.

Sorry, too many commas and too long a sentence.

I would tell her a time you want dd to be in bed by and not to worry if there are a few tears in case she was worried about your dd crying if she stopped her doing what she was playing with.

YANBU about wanting to set your dds bedtime but you do know that whatever you say the babysitter will let her stay up, don't you? If they get caught out again, then she will say that she was in bed and just got up for a drink, or whatever . . .

However, you can do something about the iPad. Lock it away before the babysitter comes. If you dd has to sit with the babysitter, snuggled up watching TV, reading a book together or playing a game, chances are that your dd will be more relaxed and go off to sleep sooner anyway.

You could compromise and get a new babysitter sometimes, explaining to the old one that your dd loves her very much but needs more sleep, so will still see her occasionally for a treat.