Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about DP's antics

51 replies

MarkLamarrsQuiff · 30/11/2013 13:05

While DP was at the supermarket just now I went upstairs to use the computer and found a spunk covered t-shirt beside the keyboard HmmAngry.

He had a wank earlier this morning while DD and I were downstairs 1000 x Hmm Angry.

I'm 5 weeks pregnant and we haven't had sex in a while as I'm feeling sick, knackered and frankly not in the mood.

I'm furious and tore into him about being an inconsiderate wanker (literally and figuratively).

He's sorry but thinks I'm over-reacting.

We're going away tonight for a meal and a stay in a nice B+B and I'm fucked off that he's done this and now I'm in a mood.

AIBU?

OP posts:
kali110 · 30/11/2013 14:19

Tell him next time time to take laptop in bathroom and lock the door, also tell him that he shall be washing his own wanking shirt!

SaucyJack · 30/11/2013 14:21

It's 2013 Peanut. Can we please get over the fact that it's not just men who like the occasional shufty in private, and that there's nothing wrong with that.

peanutbutterandbanana · 30/11/2013 14:23

I have SaucyJack. I have. As I said it was many years ago and I've adjusted my views. As I explained if you read my post. I deal with things differently now. My post was to the OP who is in obvious distress.

SaucyJack · 30/11/2013 14:26

No, all your posts are based on your misconception that it's only men who masturbate to porn. This simply isn't true.

peanutbutterandbanana · 30/11/2013 14:29

My posts are based on trying to help the OP about HER PARTICULAR SITUATION TODAY, as that is what she has asked for.

Annonynon · 30/11/2013 14:29

The t shirt think is horrible, he was very unreasonable to leave it laying around like that

Other than that I think YABU, he was alone in his bedroom, not inappropriate at all and I think it's massively unfair to have a go at him about what he does in private - though again the t shirt was completely unacceptable

Original poster
MarkLamarrsQuiff · 30/11/2013 14:32

He wasn't in our bedroom.

He was in the spare room/computer room which DD is much more likely to go into.

OP posts:
TobyLerone · 30/11/2013 14:36

YABU except for the t-shirt thing, and even then it's just not a huge deal IMO.

I'm sure he must have been on high alert in case you/DD came upstairs. The likelihood of DD walking in on him was slim to none.

Alisvolatpropiis · 30/11/2013 14:44

I think you are being unreasonable about everything except the t shirt not being cleaned.

You're getting annoyed about a what if. Your dd didn't go upstairs and didn't see him.

BuzzardBird · 30/11/2013 14:47

Tell him to disinfect the keyboard on the computer after he has disposed of his jiz shirt and remind him that he has a dd to consider. I don't know how old she is but mine could certainly stumble across 'history' on the laptop. And next time he feels like looking at young girls being exploited for his pleasure he might want to try and remember that 'they' are also someone's little girl.

YANBU

ZombieMojaveWonderer · 30/11/2013 15:17

Buzzard Bird makes an excellent point op!
Not all men like and enjoy porn actually peanut and they don't all wank either. Wink

ImperialBlether · 30/11/2013 15:22

Buzzard, you speak as though the OP's husband is looking at pornographic images of underage girls. Don't make it sound worse than it is. She doesn't even know whether he was looking at porn on that occasion and it doesn't bother her too much if he does watch it, as long as she and her daughter are not in the house.

LifeHuh · 30/11/2013 15:28

T shirt still lying around - ick.But the rest of it - not worth fussing about.Your DP could well make the point that DD didn't walk in on him - which she didn't.
If she had that'd be a whole different discussion,but I'm inclined to think that what an adult does in private is their business.(wouldn't extend that to a porn habit affecting a marriage,but the issue doesn't seem to be that here)

kerstina · 30/11/2013 16:18

YABU but once you have made it clear you were really cross and it was out of order move on and try and forget it and have a lovely time at the b&b .Enjoy your time together don't let your anger spoil it.

kerstina · 30/11/2013 16:19

Sorry meant to say YANBU Blush

mayorquimby · 30/11/2013 16:23

yabu

Birdsgottafly · 30/11/2013 16:32

I'm glad that Buzzard ridiculous post was answered.

There is Porn available with different age groups in, why the assumption that it contained Young Women, if it had of been "young girls" then it would of been Child Images Confused.

We are all someone's child, it doesn't stop us wanting to shag each other ffs.

The only issue that I would address is the T Shirt being left.

I think on the other point if relieving himself before the trip away, I think it was a nice idea, but I have been the woman with a high sex drive, in a sexless marriage, because if illness.

beansbeansgoodfortheheart · 30/11/2013 16:56

YABU.

Madmammy83 · 30/11/2013 17:32

Christ, I went through a phase of watching filthy porn when I was pregnant. I'm sure I watched far more than DH did. The meter reader walked past the window once when I was watching a big orgy (granted, I wasn't wanking). The porn or wanking wouldn't bother me. DD being in the house wouldn't bother me (unless you send her away every time you have sex, because she could just as easily walk in on that). The spunky t-shirt would INFURIATE me. I hate picking laundry off the floor.

Jux · 30/11/2013 17:38

Peanut, I don't think you read the OP's posts properly. She doesn't mind him wanking. She knows he looks at porn. It is the time and place and the tshirt she is objecting to.

And I am very old too, but I don't think I've ever objected to anyone having a wank if that's what they want to do.

NotJustACigar · 30/11/2013 17:47

OP the tshirt thing is unpleasant but surely you just need to tell him you found it pretty rank and to please not do it again. Location is not great either but maybe he thought he'd here you coming approaching and would stop and cover up in time?

Peanut I did like your point about waiting 24 hours to calm down, for what it's worth, and think its good you we able to change your view on wanking and porn. So many people just stick to their guns and never change their minds about anything.

Bowlersarm · 30/11/2013 17:50

YABU

harriet247 · 30/11/2013 18:01

Yasortofbu I would pissed off but its not worth spoiling your whole weekend by being mardy

Sunshinelaulau · 30/11/2013 18:11

Maybe he wanting to jerk one off so if u did get up to the naughties later he would last a bit longer as u've not been having sex that much recently... He's prob embarrassed by now and just ask him not to do it in the computer room again, explain why and I would expect he'd be horrified at the thought of his daughter catching him and I myself am still battling my dp on leaving spunky items lying around so can't help with that bit sorry... Men are pigs Smile

footballagain · 30/11/2013 18:47

YANBU!

Grown men should not be leaving spunky items of clothing anywhere! Urgh, tell him to have some fucking respect. For himself, for you and for his dd.

Swipe left for the next trending thread