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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this wrong?

4 replies

kickinin · 30/11/2013 13:02

NC but a (fairly) regular.

I cannot remember the last time I was long term happy. My life has slide further and further downhill, despite all efforts I have made to keep it on track/improve things. My relationships have been disasters to the point that I consider myself as 'the one who is not good enough' for various reasons, and I no longer trust myself or am prepared for another relationship.

Workwise, my career went years ago, and when I was begining to establish myself again, the rug got pulled from under me and I have ended up at the bottom of the heap. What few and far between job interviews I've had have on feed back been told how good I was but I just got pipped at the post by another person (usually internal, so I now feel as though I was just interviewed to ensure their policies were upheld and in reality I stood no chance). The job I have now is demoralising and a good day is one where I haven't been shouted at or abused by the general public, but I need to work to pay the mortgage.

I can cope most times, but now and again, when something happens that holds a mirror up to my life, and I see just how shit it all is, the only thing that keeps me going is the thought that when my child is at an age were she no longer needs me I can kill myself. I will do it in such a way that she will not know what I have done, and it also means that I do not have to worry about becoming a burden to her as I get old.

I have tried seeing my GP, but responses back over the years have ranged from'get out more' to 'you unfortunately have experienced that in life some men are shits'. And after seeing friends on AD's, I know if I go on to them I will never get off them and in my own mind that will cause a major issue.

In reality, I know she'll probably always need me, and if I did get to the point that I don't think she needs me, I would give it a year to check that she really is ok.

But is it wrong for me to cope like this? I con't be the only one that does, surely?

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 30/11/2013 13:05

Oh lovey, you need a better GP for starters. Can you see a different one and not get fobbed off with crap?

May I suggest counselling, you shouldn't have to feel like this. You can self-refer (although waiting lists can be long)

HoratiaDrelincourt · 30/11/2013 13:06

I'm so sorry you feel like this.

I have similar reservations about ADs and the long term, but if the alternative is misery and suicide...?

If you are calmly and objectively planning your death, albeit not immediately, you need actual help. You need to say those words to your GP when you go - that you are contemplating/planning suicide and find that thought comforting. They can't fob you off when they hear that.

kickinin · 30/11/2013 13:15

It's not just 1 GP that I've had this kind of experience with, it's few (surgery changes when I've moved about). And AD's I know would not be the answer for me - I couldn't cope with them. I know they work for loads of people out there, but aren't an option for me. For years I worked in an industry where admitting being depressed would have been signing your own P45 and leaving it for good, so I always used to try for a positive, or have soneone else to focus on that I could have an adult conversation with to discuss my worries/concerns. I don't have that now, so I think that's how I've come to the point I'm now at.

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 01/12/2013 15:41

The 'stigma' of admitting depression isn't what it used to be. Honestly, if taking your own life seems to be the only way out, you need to see a GP and tell them you feel this way - tell them you are planning to end your life. Refer yourself for counselling. It does NOT have to be like this. There is no time where your daughter will not need you. There is no way to kill yourself and make it look like you didn't mean it.

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