to not correct my dd when. .

[OohBridget]

she says ..'oooh shit'

'the doors on the bus go oooo shit'

She honestly is not getting it and I think its a bit hilarious funny. She's 2.4

Euphemia that made me chuckle.

my nine year old just called our cat 'Bilbo the Dildo' then turned to me and said 'mum what's a dildo' - children are a gift that just keep giving

When ds1 was learning his phonics in p1 he was awful proud of himself writing out a page of sounds one weekend to show his teacher.

He announced proudly and loudly several times that he had a whole page of jizz to show mrs F. Mummy look lots of jizz.

OP DS1 called chocolate 'cock-cock' which isnt unusual for toddlers. But he had a rory the racing car book in which rory was covered in mud. I stupidly said it looked like chocolate.

To which my toddler said 'dirty cock cock!

Which is also what he shouted every time he wanted me to read that book.....

I had to stop my eight year old singing a made-up song (she'd made it up) about driving in the countryside which consisted mainly of the words, "we're driving in the cunt-cunt-countryside..." I just said, "err, darling, that doesn't sound good, let's try a different tune..."

Ps. Jizz and cock-cock! Still laughing.

My two year old delighted the whole family by repeating "forkin knife forkin knife" at dinner.

Euphemia DD (3.9) is well into rhyming sounds at the moment, which has resulted in similar struggles to keep a straight face - think ducky, hunt, etc etc

Cunt-Cunt-Countryside - hahahaaaaaaaaa

When I worked in an after school club a Mother complained that her five year old had been taught the word 'fuck' there. The child in question had been reading a book with the 'uck' words in it and had carried the idea to it's logical conclusion.
The Mother was furious and insistent that her perfect child would never have put an F in front of uck.

My DS did this with his grandparents, too. My Dad thought it was hilarious, my mum not so much.

"Grandad, I know how to rhyme! Duck! What rhymes with duck? Truck! Muck! Stuck! Er...OH, FUCK!"

Ive been telling my 6 year old not to say crap my fault and today at school in front of all parents during pick up he described something as "C-word"

Fuuuuuuuck!

We had a phonics type scheme for use with dyslexic students. It consists of word endings (like 'at') and the student works through the alphabet, trying to make words (bat, cat, fat, etc). The same word endings are repeated a couple of times.

One of the word endings was 'ook' (note, we pronounce this with a short sound, 'uck'). One of my students said the same thing each time - b ook, book. C ook, cook. F ook, oh no, I can't say that one miss!

This thread has just made me cry with laughter!!

My mum bought my niece a toy sax(ophone). She pronounced it sex and kept shouting about her sex when we were in the supermarket. I found it hilarious. My sister did not. Luckily she forgot about it pretty quickly.

Euphemia My DS came out of school last year when he was in Y1 having just done some work on '-ight' words and ran across the playground shouting 'Might! Night! Light! Slight! Erm....Shight!'

DS has just moved to the school in our naice mainly MC residents. I took him to a football lesson on Wednesday. All was quiet, DS punted the ball a bit too hard and the words "oh god damn it" echoed around the pitch

He's 4. We live in a churchy area. He will never be allowed friends round after school at this rate.

When he was 3 he got in the car, randomly shouted "fucking fish" and sat down. To this day we still have no idea what his problem is with fish.

There was a South African round my way who used to go in the shop and ask for "Bleck Sex". She actually wanted bin liners

Mandy 2003 lmao!!!!