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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my 12 year old at home with sleeping toddler for 5 mins?

60 replies

Doppledanger · 29/11/2013 16:54

Would you leave a 12 year old dd at home with 19 month old asleep in bed for 5 mins to pop down the road to collect other child from an activity? Their dad isn't home at that time so if I decide not to then child won't be able to go to said activity.

OP posts:
ilovesmurfs · 29/11/2013 17:32

Yanbu it's fine and makes sense leaving toddler to sleep rather than to wake them up to tale them out.

I have done this with ds1 who watched ds4 when he was a toddler and also with dd, ds1 is now 14 and he will babysit the younger four, I get them all in bed etc and then go for a run.

Only you know your 12 yr old but my ds1 would have been fine.

Brittapie · 29/11/2013 17:32

Of course!

I thought this was going to be a trick thread... When I was 13, me and my friends had babysitting jobs!

threespecialsteps · 29/11/2013 17:41

Someone I work with leaves her 14 year old dd in charge of her 3 year old, 2 year old and 7 month old dc. She works evening shifts and her dp doesn't get home until late. The 14 year old is fine as long as the little ones are asleep.

curlew · 29/11/2013 17:43

Yes of course, and anyone who says anything different is bonkers, frankly. Or only has tiny children and therefore hs no idea what a 12 year old is like.

Fairylea · 29/11/2013 17:44

Personally I wouldn't.

I think leaving a 12 year old responsible for a little toddler is a bit risky, even if the toddler is asleep - toddlers always seem to have a knack of waking when you dont expect them to.

Fairylea · 29/11/2013 17:44

(Oh and I have a sensible 11 yr old and a 18 month old).

alwaysneedaholiday · 29/11/2013 17:48

I would have no problem with this - 12 year olds can be very sensible Smile

mum11970 · 29/11/2013 17:49

Yes, I would, without a second thought.

Original poster
Doppledanger · 29/11/2013 18:16

Thanks for all the replies. I wouldn't want to take the toddler with me if possible as she goes to sleep at 7 and other child needs picking up at 8. 15 so if I woke the toddler she might not go back down. The other option is to keep her up but I don't think that's fair as she is well ready for bed by 7. I see the majority of replies seem to think its ok, but I have taken on board the other comments.

OP posts:
BrawToken · 29/11/2013 18:18

I would and did!

Poppylovescheese · 29/11/2013 18:20

Absolutely fine and people saying otherwise are mad or don't have a 12 year old. My ds would be fine with a toddler for up to an hour.

cogitosum · 29/11/2013 18:21

I babysat for k

scaevola · 29/11/2013 18:21

I would, assuming your 5 minutes really is 5 minutes.

cogitosum · 29/11/2013 18:21

I babysat for money at 13!

justmakingdo · 29/11/2013 18:25

It staggers me people asking on here "Should I leave my 8/9/11/21/57 yo child while I do......
Why ask strangers if its ok, none of us know your child(ren)
You do
If anything happens, its your responsibility

Its easy

If you trust them, leave them
If you don't trust them, don't leave them

Wishihadabs · 29/11/2013 18:25

I regularly babysat my db (12 years younger) as baby. YANBu

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 29/11/2013 18:27

I did.

toffeesponge · 29/11/2013 18:30

I would be a pain if your child took a while to go back to sleep but looked at against any potential risk you would take the sleep hassle. Is there a risk? Have you gone over things with your 12 year old so she knows what to do should there be an emergency? Is there a neighbour who would be happy to sit in if only five minutes? There are different solutions.

FWIW I think my 10 year old DD is more sensible than my 12 year old DS was at that age and I would leave her with my 8 year old before leaving the 12 year old with my 8 year old.

Snatchoo · 29/11/2013 18:33

Not with my 12 year old and toddler, but I wouldn't have a problem with others.

It's absolutely not a problem so long as you can trust the 12 year old - I'm not I could!

Floggingmolly · 29/11/2013 18:33

Yes. I babysat the neighbours kids (three under 5's) at that age.

Wishihadabs · 29/11/2013 18:34

Justmakingdo I think we post, when we think it would be ok, just want to double check. There certainly is a wide range of opinions.

jamdonut · 29/11/2013 18:37

I would and have also.

You know your children, though.If you trust your 12 year old, no problem.

gobbynorthernbird · 29/11/2013 18:42

The older child is 12. How babied are some of your children that they're not ok in the house for 10 mins with a nearly 2 yr old?

HicDraconis · 29/11/2013 18:48

I wouldn't. I'm not a parent who wants to inflict adult responsibilities on her children.

It's illegal in this country to leave a child home alone under 14 (yes yes, this isn't the UK) so I just don't have that "can I / should I leave them" worry. I can't, so I don't.

My children are not babied and at 14 they will start having increasing amounts of responsibility around the home - but I'm expecting them to be living here until 18, 4 years is plenty long enough for them to learn how to function independently. They are already doing basic cooking, laundry and a few chores - just not on their own.

SatinSandals · 29/11/2013 18:57

I did, I can't see why you wouldn't if you had a sensible 12 yr old.
(I would have thought a 14 yr old could cook a meal without mother hovering! )