To think people who CHOOSE to be SAHPs should not claim income related benefits

[DixieWest]

I wholeheartedly support benefits for SAHPs and believe they should be able to live adequately without working if they can't work. When I say can't work I mean when one of their children is SEN, they'd have less money after childcare than they would claiming benefits, they are disabled etc.

What really annoys me is the following situation:

Husband earns 35k, wife earns 25k, they have a baby and wife decides to stay at home and therefore is able to claim 5k in tax credits.

They are just example figures as I don't know how much tax credits realistically are.

IMO if you choose to be a SAHP then you foot the bill.

I will repeat I have no issue with those who need to as they'd be worse off working. Do have an issue with those who'd be "slightly better off" working, don't and still claim. AIBU?

There has been research that nursery from a very young age can cause aggression in the early years.

Re stimulation and good parenting.The vast majority can and do provide both.It isn't hard.Re ad parenting,sorry but nursery can make it worse.Seen that on more than one occasion.

In your opinion retropear. Many parents choose nursery for a certain proportion of time during the week, from a certain age. You are in absolutely no position to judge whether those children are having an overall 'lesser' experience than they would have if they were not in nursery at all.
You can talk about your own children and your own experience as much as you like but you cannot possibly make a judgement about other people's

.... And has been said many many times before, we could also produce 'evidence' to show some children in some nurseries in some situations have more advanced early language skills etc etc .... We could bat this back and forth all day! But actually what matters to most parents is their own children in the setting that they have chosen. Not some research paper that can prove or disprove whatever you want to find

The benefits of nursery and language skills were only for very disadvantaged children which the maj aren't.

Yes we could go back and forth all day but I have an early years degree and have spent all my working life prior to children and after working in a variety of settings within that sector and beyond.

I'll go by my own experience thanks and will never except bullshit re parents not being qualified to look after their own children.

I have seen the alternatives in every shape and form.

Wow! You really have got about then if you managed to see the wonderful nursery my children attended. Shame you didn't rate it... But my children loved it and have not been disadvantaged in any shape or form. And actually their lives are what matter to me- not your opinion

Great so considering that is your only experience of nursery and babies perhaps neither you or anybody else are best placed to undermine the value of parents looking after their own children or extolling the virtues of every nursery in the land.

I'm not. I'm not undermining anyone who wants to be a SAHP and has a partner who wants it too and will support it. Not at all. Never have. Nor do I speak for the quality of childcare which I haven't used and know nothing about.
You are the one who continually generalises about WOHP retro, and also pop up periodically to complain that you feel hard done by as the stay at home partner of someone on a very high salary

Sorry I don't rate or income(which you don't actually know) very high when you consider house prices,the loss of one tax allowance,higher tax rate,CB restrictions and the income of those who get 2 x salaries supplemented by benefits and help with childcare.

Oh and you pop up on every thread putting down sahp.

I don't get why it is ok for the government to pay childcare and vouchers (out of taxes) for parents to put their young babies in Nurseries. Then really really bad for the government to give a few pounds in tax credits for a parent in a couple, staying at home to support the breadwinner.

These frugal Mums obviously don't spend spend spent to boost the economy. Stop reading the Daily Mail people! They are indoctrinating people!! It is ok for a Mother to stay at home for a few years and raise her family.

As it is ok for a parent who gets bored with their baby or has to work for their own sanity, to use my taxes to pay for their kids' childcare.

Lol except I don't put them down retro. You just seem to want me to do that just because you judge WOHP. Or rather WOHM!

As for salary... Well you've made no secret of the fact that you have lost CB which means your partner must be on 60k minimum. To most people's way of thinking that's a lot of money and most people wouldn't have the gall or self serving attitude to consider it unfair to lose a benefit. And I speak as someone who has also lost CB, also has to pay a mortgage, all the other high costs of living and actually never received a penny towards our childcare bill.
I consider myself as a HR tax payer to be fortunate compared to people on low wages and I would be really questioning my sense of perspective if I started bleating about losing CB

Oh and Janey if our salary is very high which it it most certainly isn't then quite frankly it's absolutely bonkers that those on double get CB and childcare help and free school dinners alongside those on 6 times as much household income getting help with child care and free school dinners.

Bonkers but hey there are 2 working parents so they deserve it and must want to get on unlike the feckless,lazy rich families with a sahp.

Wrong Janey.

Oh and you've made no secret that you pay more tax than anybody else so quite clearly we're different ends of the spectrum and our experience is nothing like mine.

I'm disabled and get ESA and DLA, I also have a 2 yr old daughter and I am a sahm too. Do you begrudge me getting my money?
My dh is a higher rate tax payer too but it's not enough for us to live on without my benefits too which are contribution based not income based.

How much help do a couple earning 120k between them get? And why aren't you prepared to earn 60k yourself, with all the childcare costs, pressures and challenges which that entails, if you're so envious of a few quid off the childcare bill and a free school dinner?!

Honestly, the self seeking attitude on here is disgusting.
And you know if I gave up my job tomorrow, we still wouldn't get CB as my husband is a HR tax payer I certainly wouldn't start complaining, oh poor little me, someone give us more money...life's so tough and all those families where both parents are working as well as bringing up children have got it so easy!!

btw we don't get child benefit or any tax credits at all.

Oh and I'll bleat as much as I like re unfairness and crap policy thanks.

You both appear on every WOHP and SAHM thread, do you have an alarm that goes off?

You both make sense and half the time seem to agree that loving parents with the child's best interest at heart are best

Sorry that was directed at retro and janey

Those on 100k get the lot.

Great Janey,give yourself a medal and a sainthood.Those of us lower down the chain feel differently.

Rufus yes we do agree on that and the tax credit issue.Good observation.

On other issues not so much.

Yeap rufus- spot on: it's about loving parenting which meets a child's needs. And there's more than one way to do that

. We all pay tax every time we do a grocery shop, or pay a bill, or buy fuel.

We all do pay taxes on lots of things. However for a family surviving solely on benefits (no working adults) the money they are paying in tax on any purchases is from the state.
They get money from the state and pay some of it back to the state in tax. I really don't think they can be considered to be actually paying taxes as it's just out of one govt pot and into a different govt pot.

BTW, I have nothing against benefits and am glad that we have a good social security system in this country that provides for those who need the provision, but I do disagree that technically everyone pays taxes.

Retropear - I don't know about Scotland and Wales, but in England you don't get free school dinners if you earn more than £16k, so I don't know who these families earning 100k getting free school meals are.

Retropear you are on a ridiculpusly high household wage but are still jealous of the teeny amount of people in 100k+ households