to think a 40K salary is not enough???

[slippytoes]

I've been offered a permanent full time job earning 40K, which at first sight looks great but....

I just realised this will stop all child tax credits!!! Then we wont have nearly enough to rent a 1 bed (let alone a 2 bed flat) in our current area.

We live in zone 2 (very expensive!) and moving is not an option since DD goes to school in the area and is well settled in... I dont want her to lose her friends and change schools!

Also, because the new job is full time I will need childcare, which also means extra costs! I was thinking of getting an au pair but we just cant afford it!

I am a single parent. I really want this job, it's a great opportunity. 40K is a decent salary!!! AIBU? How do people make it in London? Should I ask my new employer to pay me less? And how can I make this work? :(

Do you have experience of living in London, caruthers and Sallyingforth? A £40k salary is great if you're childless but very tight for a single parent who has to pay rent, travel and childcare.

Actually I have no problem at all with parents on £40k getting benefits to help with childcare. Much better than them being unable to afford to go to work and having to rely on benefits for everything.

VerySmallSqueak Fri 29-Nov-13 16:03:29

But you don't get benefits on £40k Sallying

Your point is not clear to me

The OP was explaining that she will lose her TC's if she took the job.

I can't see the problem with that because she's earning more.

£1400 for one bed? Flip I'm glad we live in Glasgow where in a very nice area we got a 3 bed detached house for £795 a month!

It's because people get used to the free money so a pay rise that removes the need for benefits feels like a punishment rather than a reward.

Actually, a single parent on £40k (with no benefits) can actually see less money in their bank account than someone on a much lower income who gets tax credits. That's because the system is poorly designed.

Do you have experience of living in London, caruthers and Sallyingforth? A £40k salary is great if you're childless but very tight for a single parent who has to pay rent, travel and childcare.

^this.

The OP is currently living in a very expensive area and has taken on board the suggestion that she might have to move to make her salary go further, at least in terms of housing cost. If she needed to stick around that area (for whatever reason) £40K would not be a stupendous amount to be earning, really. And whatever happens, she's still going to have to pay travel and childcare, both of which can be ridiculously expensive.

Well I said there would be flames.
Yes yes, yes. London is an expensive area to live. It costs more to live here than most of the rest of the country. But we all have choices - some easy and some hard. One of those choices is where to live.
If employers want someone to come and work in London (where I live) they should expect to pay a cost of living salary, and if people refused to work for less than that salary they would soon have to offer more, or move their business. That's supply and demand in action.

I believe it is morally wrong that someone living in a rural area and earning 25k should be paying tax to give a benefit to someone choosing to live in an expensive area on 40k. It just is not fair.
But I do not expect to convince everyone of that.

You think this is a flaming, Sallying? Blimey.

Where there's smoke there's fire!

OP - This is why we moved right out of London to Kent, there's lots of areas that are on fast train lines to London bridge or waterloo east that are under 30 minute journey times, but the housing costs are a fraction of what you are paying in rent. However, if your ex is in London, I can see why even if your commute time is the same, it might be hard for you to move out of London completely if your DD needs to see him regularly.

Sadly, to me it seems a £40k salary in London gives you the lifestyle of a £20k salary in my old hometown up north, but benefit systems are made to fit the whole country, in some areas the point at which you can get benefits will seem generous, in others it will seem harsh.

I agree that London is increasingly losing the people in the middle, people like the OP who don't have family commitments are taking the decision to leave, those who stay are increasingly seeing their standard of living fall compared to if they lived outside of the capital. I can't see that it's good for anyone that London becomes a place for the rich, the poor and those who commute in.

www.sharetobuy.com/sharedownership/in/London some in nice zone 2 areas ncl north london eg

www.sharetobuy.com/sharedownershippropertydetails?id=8854

if you already have good links with local people thru school eg for emergency child pick up plus there are after school and breakfast clubs and your job has prospects - it might be worth staying and living frugally for a bit.

if you do move, beaware of what happens if you stuck in london on snow days and cant walk /taxi/but home because it's some miles on overland train.

and getting to know a new area/people when you working.

there are pros and cons...you could sharetobuy in a few months/eventually and for now rent a small one bed and share with dd/use living room for your bed.

it's a choice you make.

personally i am also in zone 2 and livng in too small place but would not move - would rather smaller property here (curently renting) and sticking with schools etc. but yep cost of living is £££££££££

If you did want to move out: this is £1275 a month, 4 beds, half a mile to Chelsfield station, fast trains to London Bridge are just over 15 minutes. I don't know the area very well so you'd have to check, but it's worth looking a bit further out if you can.

"You're getting a lot of encouragement to move, but you said your DD was well settled and happy at school, and I happen to think this is a very important consideration"

agree with this especially if you have made local connectiosn with parents and eg dd can go to a sleepover in an emergency (as well as with your ex)

the porblem is that moving out to oprington and commuting in - when something goes wrong or dd has some problem - you maybe cant easily get back there in short time eg if trains stuck (snow) or whatever.

commuitng works when you have a spouse at home or v local.

long commutes (distance and dependent on overland trains) and DC dont mix when you single parent.

You have been offered a permanent and full time job with an increased salary. If this is something you have been working towards and is going to provide you with a secure future and that of your daughter then I think you need to consider what you need to sacrifice and where you need to compromise. It sounds as though you have good relations with your XP and he contributes and shares care of your DD. Sounds like lots of positives there and I'm sure you will be able to make it work... Good luck

Things to consider:

Commuting costs can be huge

If you are a lone parent, being a long distance from your child during the day can make things very tricky, particularly in an emergency.

If you are mid primary school years you will likely not get a place at the school you want immediately. You will be given a place wherever there is space (likely a less desirable school or one which is futher away) and have to be on a waiting list for your preferred school. Then if a space comes up you have to disrupt DC again to move them.

OP, just wondering how you're managing now, do you have a higher paid job? I think you said you are on part mortgage, part rent, is there a chance of moving to a slightly less expensive area and renting?

"London is for the rich, or those on benefits true i am afraid, or for those in LA housing."

I think that's a bit unfair. I live in London with DH and we are neither highly paid nor on benefits. Neither are our friends. There are boroughs/areas that are cheaper than others.

This is yet another example of what is wrong with the benefit system. Still if you can possibly make it work by struggling for a few years and moving to zone 3 it will be great for your personal life and self worth.

The job sounds great and who knows what further opportunities may come your way once you have this experience under your belt.You can work your way up and generally I have found that working is a much better example to the DC too.

Good luck and welcome to the commuting hoards!

I think the biggest impediment here is lack of childcare for you if things go wrong, this week I've had kids off sick, emergencies and it's been a nightmare as I have no back-up at the moment. If your child's school and ask you to pick her up immediately, as happened to me, what are you going to do?

If there are two parents or one working p/t it is different, but it's very hard to be a sole parent, commuting and not able to return to the school quickly if you need to- especially if there is a commute. You might be late back, trains delayed, problems with line- you can't rely on leaving at 5 and being home by 6.

Sorry to be negative, but the stress of trying to cope alone with work, commute and school is very high. The money is probably not enough for you to throw money at the problem (au pair?)

I know this might sound bonkers but I have been thinking that if my ex, who has a good salary too, came to live with us, it could be a good solution for the three of us. We could then afford a 2/3 bedroom property in our current area, share childcare, be both close to our work and even save (obviously I have a good relationship with my ex and are good friends, but nothing else).

And now is when you tell me I'm crazy!

I too am wondering what the OP does at present.

It's hard to know whether a move is good or bad if the current position is unknown!

Of course you won't be entitled to tax credits at £40,000 why the hell should you!

Move to a cheaper area!

I think, without knowing your history, that moving ex in would be a very, very bad idea. No matter how well you get on (when you don't live together...) Confusing for your dd too, I would think.

But if you moved further out and got a bigger place (3 beds) what about an au pair?

Yes Gin I think that's precisely the reason why we're good... it's the desperation talking.

Moving out seems the most logical thing to do in the long terms. I just don't know how to do it. In most boroughs applications for school places are in January, but we would need to move when she finishes school year... and then there's the fact that we really like her school now and she's settled in. I need to have a good think at all the options... again, thanks a lot for all your help. You're stars!