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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think when i ask my nanny to do something she does it?

29 replies

Scrummummy · 28/11/2013 22:06

we've had our nanny since end of sept. she's the sister of our previous nanny. lovely woman has over 10 years experience.
but we want her to have a bit of common sense. why phone me when they are being difficult and sulky? I can't do anything about it I work over 1hr from home. if they are difficult talk to me about it when I get home.
my dh works 45 mins away but I am point of contact. when I say give them a bath or cook xyz I expect them to be done. she calls him first to moan about the bus being late because of traffic. he is pissed off. ffs what does she want him to do? he wants to tell her to piss off and concentrate on her job but obviously he can't do that. but thinks it
we pay her £1600 approx a month she has take home of £1200 a month for 17.5hrs a week. but she seems to prefer talking to us and doesn't let us get home and take off our coats before talking about how they won't eat so she's cooked 3 meals, refused they have refused a bath. they are 7 and 5 not difficult to get into a bath. she also rarely puts toys out. what do I do I like her I trust her but obviously verbal rules aren't good enough. we do have a contract. so Aibu to expect her to do her job!!!Angry

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 28/11/2013 22:09

She doesn't sound like a very good employee. Cut your losses and look for someone else.

phantomnamechanger · 28/11/2013 22:13

she sounds hopeless
10 yrs experience and does not seem to have any coping strategies/discipline tools??

pleasedontwakemeup · 28/11/2013 22:14

Get someone else

NomDeClavier · 28/11/2013 22:17

No YANBU and you need to start done serious performance management. You're not happy, she's not happy about stuff. Call a meeting, sit down with notes and agree a way forward.

Does she have 10years experience with that age group? Primary aged kids talk back and try to manipulate in a way that babies and toddlers just don't. If she's not got experience then she won't have strategies for dealing with it.

Lay out some rules for her and the DC - what's on the menu is what is cooked and eaten, bath time is x o'clock etc.

Your DC should be able to get toys they're interested in. 17.5 hours sounds like they don't have much time for playing from FT school so that aspect wouldn't worry me do much but it may be indicative of her general attitude...

pigsDOfly · 28/11/2013 22:19

She's your nanny, if she's supposed to have full charge of your children while you and your dh are out of the house she isn't doing her job properly if she's phoning you to tell you what the children are or aren't doing. She shouldn't be needing your input during the day.

Would the teacher at your children's school phone you if the children were misbehaving?

Get rid of her and get someone who can do their job and leave you to get on with doing yours.

EweHaveGoatToBeKiddin · 28/11/2013 22:20

£1200 take home for a part time job?!

I'll be your new nanny. Grin

Scrummummy · 28/11/2013 22:21

thank nom she has mainly had experience with 5 and under BUT she also has a 13,16 and 19 year olds. so she must have gone through the 5-8 period.

OP posts:
lisad123everybodydancenow · 28/11/2013 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleBairn · 28/11/2013 22:27

YANBU she sounds rather wet calling to moan about the bus, she doesn't quite seem to understand boundaries your not her friend your her boss.
I say that as an ex nanny.

beeny · 28/11/2013 22:27

She sounds rubbish.

KeepingUpWithTheJonses · 28/11/2013 22:28

You are paying this woman over £20 an hour.

You want your head examining.

lilyaldrin · 28/11/2013 22:31

Is she still in a probationary period? Sounds like it isn't working out.

Lilacroses · 28/11/2013 22:31

Are your really paying her that much for so few hours?! Crikey! She sounds incapable of doing the job. I would try talking to her about it in stern terms and then if that doesn't work, find a new nanny.

AdorabeezleWinterpop · 28/11/2013 22:32

How much?!!!

OP, I'm a primary school teacher and I'll be your nanny! I promise I won't call you unless it's an emergency.

She earns more than me (although I work slightly shorter hours).

DeepThought · 28/11/2013 22:34

oh dear, she sounds a bit hapless

I know we are saying och get rid, please follow proper procedures to do so

Hopasholic · 28/11/2013 22:35

I am Shock at how much she earns for 17.5 hrs. That's twice as much as I earn as a 'cushy overpaid civil servant' as the Dm would have you believe.

You need a new nanny.

Scrummummy · 28/11/2013 22:39

unless any of you live in London north east / Essex border then what do I do?
the job is pick up from school at 330 bus ride of about 40 mins or 3 stops tube ride. then home cook dinner play homework and bath. its only 3.5 hrs a day and £300 take home a week. ffs what else do we need to do?

OP posts:
Lilacroses · 28/11/2013 22:54

Is that the going rate where you live then op? Genuine question.

Tryharder · 28/11/2013 22:59
trashcanjunkie · 28/11/2013 23:04

seriously considers commute from oop north. I am a part time nanny and get six quid an hour for twins who are eight months. I bath them and everything.

foreverondiet · 28/11/2013 23:04

Doesn't sound competent although I would punish the children for not listening to the nanny - ie make it clear to them they have to comply. She should not call you at work unless emergency / urgent question.

AngiBolen · 28/11/2013 23:06

I will comunte to N.London/Essex every day to to that job for that money.

I will ensure your DC have a fun bath, help them with their homework, and never phone you to complain about late busses or sulky children.

Except I have my own sulky children to look after.

Seriously, I think your nanny is over paid. Do you pay her more during school holidays, or is it pro-rata?

You need to sit down and have a serious talk with your nanny, saying what you have said on this thread. YANBU.

foreverondiet · 28/11/2013 23:08

And I am paying my (great) nanny (who has worked for me since August 2004(!!!)) the same for 31.5 hours a week. Sound like a Iot for those hours.

Unexpected · 28/11/2013 23:09

Sorry, you are paying an after-school nanny £17 per hour net???? Because that is what this seems to equate to! How on earth did you agree this rate - even for the best nanny in the world this would be extortionate. And this one doesn't even do her job! If you really want to keep her, sit her down and tell her you cannot accept calls at work unless they are of an urgent nature i.e. sudden illness or injury. Calls telling you she cannot cope with your children is basically saying she cannot do her job. However, given that she is both expensive and not doing a good job (and not even hiding the fact) i would say get rid and start again.

MaryPoppinPills · 28/11/2013 23:24

You are over paying your nanny and this is coming from a ex nanny in London.

If she is not capable of cooking a meal and giving a bath without whining to you about it then you need to write out her p45 and draw her a map to the job centre. THIS IS BASIC NURSERY DUTIES!!!

I used to do 60hr weeks (if lucky) with two under 3 and that included food shopping health appointments childrens clothes/shoe shopping, cleaning, washing all clothes including the parents etc and I didn't get the equivalent hourly wage that your paying (think I need to negotiate better next time)