To hate it when people queue WRONGLY in the shop?

[ICameOnTheJitney]

I use a local Sainsbury's....the small type. It's a weird L shape so there's a bank of tills in the short section and then a long bit where you queue....the "space" in the L is taken up with shelves.

MOST people begin queuing in the long section which is CLEAR....but there's always some numpty who stands in the wrong place when they're queuing....and if they're next, the whole queue has to go behind them down the narrow bit which is meant for those using the self service tills or browsing!

I am so British about it though that I'd never say "Excuse me...move to your left and queue there or we'll all be to cock in a minute when more people arrive."

So I meekly get behind them where I know I will be in the frigging way! Are you someone who queues WRONGLY?

I know, cheeky bugger. I don't mind terms of endearment, but not when it's used to queuejump. That's just taking the piss.

Wasn't even a long queue - there was only me and another person.

I have a new one to add to the queue rage. I hate it when you are in the queue and someone keeps bumping you with their trolley. So you act terribly British and look pointedly at the trolley and step forwards. And they step forwards too and start bumping you again. Rinse and repeat twice. You finally snap and say "will you stop bumping me!" and they get all offended that you dared to decline being their personal trolley bumper. And the cherry on the top? The staff member serving also decides you should have been the personal bumper for the other customer and barely speaks to you while they finish serving you. RAAAAAAGE.

Yes, I just got back from the shop The rage takes a while to wear off.

Oh I love a good queueing thread!

I was in Poundland recently where there was the usual long queue at the till, when some impatient arse knob man went to an elderly lady who was next to be served and asked if she minded him going in front of her as he was parked on double yelloes. The nice old lady said "Of course you can dear". But then a young woman near me piped up and said "Well I mind we are all waiting", at which several more of us murmered our agreement. The old lady kept saying "But I don't mind" completely dailing to grasp that she wasn't just letting him in in front of her but in front of all of us too.

Anyway there was a bit of argy-bargy but in the end the --tosserr- queue jumper muttered something and left.

I couldn't believe the brass neck of someone who felt that because he didn't want to pay properly for car parking like everyone else he was thus entitled to push in in the shop!

Hate that 5foot5.

Also hate similar situation to kerwizzed describes when a person behind you has to stand so close that their body is slightly touching you, or almost is. No matter how often you move a step forward, they do it to. And I'm not talking about people that seem to be pervs, just people who have no sense of personal space and are determined to be as near to the front as possible, even if it makes no difference!

The nerve of some people never fails to amaze me. I suspect I'm going to become a crazy old lady who spends her time muttering at the queue jumpers. I've never challenged one yet.

Thanks TinyTear - that'll be Lothian bus drivers sticking to the rules then!

I once had someone behind me in a queue lean their arm on the space between my waist and not very small backside for a rest. I moved away. She did it again. I moved sideways to stop her trying it a third time and got tutted at.

If you're tired, sit down love. I don't care how old you are, I'm not your personal leaning post!

Oh the trolley bumping thing drives me bonkers.

I have a scar up the back of my leg from an operation. If knocked at just the right place (trolley/buggy knocking height) where the skin is very thin, it will do one of two things:

a) Set of some kind of nerve/tendon chain reaction which will involve my knee buckling in very dramatic fashion.

b) Bleed, spectacularly

I do not, therefore, tolerate much trolley/buggy bumping before objecting - politely, and then with dwindling politeness.

I once had a massive row in Waitrose with a woman with a buggy who kept ramming me. My knee eventually did the buckling thing and she stared at me as I clutched the conveyor built and hopped around. I explained and asked her to please be careful. She said that she hadn't hit me hard enough to knock me over. I explained again. She continued to insist that I was faking it. I eventually yanked my boot and sock off and showed her my scar, in the middle of Waitrose, and asked if that was enough information for her, or if she wanted to see my medical records before agreeing to stop assaulting me with her buggy.

She said "oh" and then stood muttering "well, how was I supposed to know" and "ridiculous" and "I'm being bumped too, and I'm not moaning about it."

Queue wars with Dilbert

Oh and the people who stand SO close to you that should you dare to take a step back, you crush their feet and then they glower at you! I have been known to do massive fake yawns and stretches just to get the buggers to move away a bit!

If someone stands too close to me I turn to get something from the chocolate rack by the till and then do a really over the top startled reaction when I see the person standing 1cm away from me. Never fails to embarrass them and amuse me.

And another thing. Queuing in a supermarket with a trolley. Take your trolley along to the end where you're packing and paying and park it horizontally. Don't leave it in the vertical queuing line so that everyone else ends up miles away from their shopping.
I don't even know if I described that in a way that made sense but it really annoys me. No-one can move up the line properly if there's an empty trolley parked in the way.

I understand you picnicbasketcase but I think we are dangerously close now to turning this in to a supermarket etiquette thread - which would be so easy to get involved in as I am girding my loins ready for the weekly battle in Sainsbury's.

(Actually that is a bit unfair I think most Sainsbury's customers round here are too nice to put up much of a fight)

Is anyone else starting to get weirded out by the word queue? I'm starting to doubt I've spelled it right now!

Queueueueueeeeee

(Ponders what yellow line man could have needed so urgently in pound land that he had to park illegally)

happystory - in all the furore I didn't notice. Whatever it was he didn't get to buy it.

Good!

I hate single queues where there's no official 'queue here' sign.

What always happens to me is that I will be left alone at the front of the single queue for the cash/ticket/whatever machines and someone will come along AFTER everyone else has been served and decide to set up a new queue, despite me standing in the middle of the 2 tills/whatever, then get arsey if I try to get to the till before them, despite me having been stood at the back of a huge queue for yonks and them just having breezed in!

I get so stupidly relieved when someone stands behind me when the queue's still moving, so that way I don't have to have the confrontation...

Fast window, I am becoming goggled by the word queue also.

How to get rid of the huddlers in the queue: start coughing in their direction. They will stand back then.

Or turn round and do a lick up one of their cheeks and tell them they have a flavour. Guaranteed to make them step back.

I love a good queue jumper story, here's mine:

My friend and I were at the front of a queue for a cash machine, standing the normal "i'm not trying to see your PIN number" distance away, when an old man came up from the side and tried to move in as the last person moved away. My friend said "Excuse me, maybe you haven't seen but there is a queue for this machine", trying to explain that perhaps as there was a space between us/queue and the last person, he hadn't noticed.

He took great offence at this and said "Dont you tell me what to do I am 85" and SWUNG a bag of shopping at her.

Lots of rustling and tutting behind us but no one told him off!

I lived in Bosnia for a few years when we had to go because of my husband's job. The locals had no idea at all about taking turns and queueing (now that spelling looks wrong) and they would literally stand so close it wasn't unusual to have to use your elbows to make some room. No idea at all about personal space. They just thought I was a mad foreigner.

I told a woman off in asda a few Wes ago. There was a massive queue for 2 rows of self service till - just one queue. Her and her friend appear out of the clothes section, look at the queue, then decide to make a 2nd queue that they just happen to be at the front of. I was at the front of the real queue, then a till came free and I practically sprinted to get there first. She says "oh don't mind me, I was next"!!! Bloody cheek, I shouted back at her "no you weren't, you were trying to push in past me and all these other people". Then she told me to grow up, and I lost the moral high ground by telling her to fuck off.

I posted my queueing-too-close buster on another (excellent) thread recently.

Wear a big ponytail and go Swish.

Cue splutters from the person standing breathing on your neck.