AIBU for being so upset by what this woman said?

[delobanque]

Got to know a mum a year ago at an activity my ds does and see her weekly. I have listened to her moaning and groaning about virtually everything and everyone for months now, as well as her constant boasting to me about how her ds is amazingly talented at every activity he does (and believe me, he does a lot!) and how super intelligent she is. As far as I can see, he isn't particularly good at anything, probably because he does so much and she is certainly no brain box (she paid someone to do the coursework for the degree she brags about). As well as virtually being a counsellor for the last year, I've also given her lots of practical help and she has become increasingly demanding. Although I quickly began to find her rather odd and tried to distance myself, I also felt sorry for her as she appears to be very lonely. Her ds is always bragging too and trying to put my ds down, but I felt sorry for him too as he doesn't have any friends. Now I've just found out that she has been saying really mean things about my ds and how he isn't nearly as good as her son at this activity even though my ds does it more often. She and her ds were calling my ds a failure. I'm really upset. I know this post sounds very childish, but I'm livid and don't know what to do. I'll see her on Friday and at the moment I just want to give her a piece of my mind, but then the atmosphere will be awful every time I see her. Any advice?

Drop her

It's not difficult

Develop ovaries of steel

If other people know she's a bullshitter then they will just ignore her.

I don't blame you for being angry, but it could be time to just walk away and distance yourself and your DS from the hassle.

Frosty is your friend, seriously you don't need people like that in your life you have been kind and this is how she repays you. Can you trust your sources on the things she's allegedly been saying about you and your ds? If so, toss your hair and move on, hard I know but you could never trust or like her again could you?

It doesn't sound you particularly like her anyway.

Drop your DS at the activity and then go somewhere for a walk/coffee/sit in the car.

Or very blatantly and obviously do not engage with her.

Or tell her you've heard what she's been saying and you're not interested in any kind of friendship with her any more.

If you only see her once a week at this activity then it's no great loss, is it.

She'll have done herself no favours when she was talking about your child like that - it will just have made her look awful. She probably has no friends like her son for a reason. Who told you she was calling your son a failure?

Rise above it. Be polite but icily cool. Sit somewhere else away from her on Friday or leave and come back later if you can. If she questions you at some point just be short in your answers and don't speak to her or engage her in any way. If she doesn't get the message soon by your lack of contact then you can tell her you don't appreciate what she said about your child and think it best not to be involved with her anymore.

So, she's not a friend, you only see her because of the activity both your children do and you don't enjoy her company or what you hear she says?

There is not problem here - stay civil, but no more.
Let your DS fight his own battles (it does not sound like he has any issues here btw).

It sounds a bit playgroundish this 'she's been saying mean things about my DS' tbh. Take the High Road.

Lets face it you're going to feel awkward/angry every time you see her now anyway, why should you be the only one shouldering that?

You don't have to be confrontational about it, just matter of factly say that you know what she has been saying about you and your DS and you clearly had the wrong end of the stick and would prefer to keep your distance from now on.

I wouldn't be particularly bothered about making sure I said it to her in private either.

What @lauriefairycake said - drop her lethally and silently, no drama, don't engage. Sounds like she is a troubled person and this is an attention getting exercise. You don't need this in your life.

I'd cancel any future meet-up and withdraw from.the friendship.

She sounds difficult and who needs that in their life?

Just do it and if she's a hag about it tell her to fuck off and that you know she's been bitching behind your back.

Ignore her!

Agree, don't say anything, not worth it, but just don't be open and friendly. Can you take a book to read while your DS is doing the activity or go sit to a side away from her?

Stop indulging her.

Are you sure she really said the mean things? Presumably somebody told you she did. If you are then yes I'd probably distance myself. I have met people who are incredibly competitive about their dc. Realistically there are too many for me to drop them all. But I couldn't put up with someone bad mouthing me or dc. I'd need to be sure though, not just relying on one person saying it.

Ignore her - they sound like a pair or insecure weirdos

Drop her like a tonne of wet bricks and don't give her a second's more head space. Life's too short.

Don't fall out with her just keep your distance and tell ds to do the same with her ds

She sounds god awful and unfortunately is a poor roll model fir her ds and it shows. I would just ignore her totally and don't engage in any conversation