To think my SIL was rude (petty post alert!)

[Flyonthewindscreen]

It was my SIL's birthday on Tuesday. I bought a "sister" card which DH wrote from both of us, an "Aunty" card which the DC wrote, a subscription to a magazine I thought she would enjoy (specialist wine magazine, she is a mega foodie, etc) and a gift from the DC (set of eyeliners, Boots no 7, so not über cheap). Packaged all up and sent to her in time for her birthday. Texted her on the morning of her birthday to say that I had posted package on Saturday, hope it arrived on time and have a happy birthday.

Have had not text in response to say thanks although DH has had a reply to his happy birthday text. Bit petty but WIBU to leave DH to sort his own sisters birthday out next year? BTW DH doesn't expect me to sort his family birthday stuff out but I don't mind doing it as WOH far less than him so didn't mind doing this kind of admin in past.

Present buying often seems to fall to a DW, join the club.

Hold fire until the weekend, SIL may be genuinely busy. Did the package arrive or does she have to pick it up from a Delivery Office, sometimes the opening hours aren't very handy. I agree it's off not to get an acknowledgment. Are you on good terms normally?

may be she will hand write you a thank you letter and has not quite got around to doing it yet and hence didn't reply to the text as she intended to do that. Don't get upset for at least a forthnight!

She might not have got the text - mine sometimes come through weeks after they were sent, or even go AWOL entirely... Did she send thanks for the gifts in DH's text?

If I was sil I would have been out so got a card. I would be waiting till I'd collected the package before thanking specifically for what was in it.

I get on fine with SIL although we are not close. She has received the package as she replied to DH's text on her birthday to say it had arrived and thanks. Don't expect a note or even a call, just a brief acknowledgement and thanks along lines that DH got.

Seems unlikely she didn't get the text as mine have always arrived before.

But she's thanked your DH? Surely that's a thank you to all of you?

So your DH wrote the card that accompanied the gift, she acknowledged the gift and thanked the person who had written the card, so what is your problem exactly?

Is she supposed to read your mind and know that it was in fact you that bought the card and therefore you that should get her text?

YANBU. But she might be writing to
thank you. I can be a bit slow getting around to writing a thank you letter.

So she has actually said thanks. Not sure what your problem is here.

She has thanked you

She just happened to send the text saying it to your DH instead of you.

Or do you want a specific, only for you thank you text because SIL should magically know you actually picked/sorted out the gifts?

YABU

she thanked your DH, job done.

I can't imagine thanking every individual member of a family.

Maybe she did think replying to DH's text as a thank you to all. But surely if a family member texts to wish you happy birthday, it wouldn't take much effort to reply "Thanks, [SILname] x". Anyway enough already, did warn it was a petty one!

Goodness I don't reply to every birthday text, and don't expect (or get) replies to the ones I send out either. I'd let that go.

I think you are BU. a little bit anyway.

YABU, she has confirmed the package arrived and said thank you.

I understand you are annoyed that you did all the work and your DH receives the thanks, but I would assume she doesn't realise all the effort was yours and thought the text to your DH was sufficient. YANBU to leave DH to it next year.

You sound really needy, rather like my SIL.

I recently gave my SIL a gift and received a long handwritten note about a week later by post. I think I'd give it till the weekend, particularly if the DCs sent her something - she may want to give them a special thanks.

I had a similar experience.

I spent two days making my SIL a care bundle when she was going through a hard time, bought them all, wrapped and sent all the gifts. I was pretty busy with a newborn baby and a toddler so I felt like I had really made an effort to show I was thinking of her. I nominally put DH's name on it too.

I thought how happy she would be when she got it. And then I said to DH "oh it's weird I've never heard from X" and he said "oh yeah she texted and said thanks".

Anyway, I felt a little like you - it was obvious who sent it. But then I thought: she has actually thanked us and simply responded to her brother who she has known all her life! She probably didn't think anything of that; it was only that I was so looking forward to making her happy and DH hadn't given it a second's thought that annoyed me.

Your SIL did thank you; she just doesn't see your DH as separate from you in this situation. Don't dwell too much on it.

But she has thanked you