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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its not fair to have to pay for the nursery Christmas party...?

38 replies

Clandy · 28/11/2013 13:08

Dd's (3) nursery are having a Christmas party at nursery, they are getting a magician, food (but I pay for lunches any way) and party games. I have to pay £5 or keep her off. Me and dh work full time so there is no way we can keep her off. I pay £1200 pounds a month on flaming childcare for my dc's. Now I have to pay £5 for her to attend a session I'm already paying for! Is this normal and I'm bu?? Confused

OP posts:
MoleyMick · 28/11/2013 13:10

I think it sounds normal - we bring a plate and a Santa present to the kindy party. Which would come to more than £5 i think. I'm not in the uk but it seems fine to me.

PeanutPatty · 28/11/2013 13:13

When my eldest was in nursery we never had to pay for any extras. Ever. They also lay on birthday cakes and presents for every kid. No extra charge.

KungFuBustle · 28/11/2013 13:15

YANBU as I think it's wrong your option was pay or find other childcare ( and from what I remember of nursery fees if you keep her off you'll be liable for the usual rates anyway)

That said, good childcare is not always easily found and for the sake of £5 I'd pay up and then I'd seethe quietly at home and on mn to keep the relationship with the nursery while DC was there.

hermioneweasley · 28/11/2013 13:17

We never paid extra for our DCs nursery parties. I'd be pissed off at the pay extra or miss the session attitude.

Dontletthemgetyoudown · 28/11/2013 13:17

im conflicted on this one. one one hand its only £5, but on the other hand as you say you've already paid a lot of money each month for dd to attend.

I think the part that they are being unreasonable on is saying your dd has to stay home if shes not attending. I'm assuming that if she did they wouldn't be taking the day off of your fees?

Original poster
Clandy · 28/11/2013 13:19

I will pay as even if I had other childcare options (if I don't send her I still have to pay normal nursery fees) I would not let her miss out on her Christmas party. I will quietly seethe and not let on to anyone in rl how pissed off I am about this! Wink

OP posts:
FlipFlippingFlippers · 28/11/2013 13:19

When mine were in nursery we didn't have to pay but were asked to make a food/drink donation if possible. I think because it wasn't mandatory people ended up being more than willing to help out.

choceyes · 28/11/2013 13:22

I think it is ridiculous of the nursery to say that either your pay the £5 or don't come. You've already paid for the session.
YANBU.
Sometimes I have to pay for extras at the nursery, like I pay £4 a week for a Jo Jingles session, but it is optional (but can you imagine if only my DD was left not doing the session and feeling left out...so even if it's optional, ofcourse I have to pay for it)
Our nursery is having a christmas party and it's free! No magician though.

Original poster
Clandy · 28/11/2013 13:25

It's annoying as well that the children not attending that session also only have to pay a fiver. I feel like I'm subsidising for them to attend! They have only just recently had a visit from the same magician and we didn't have to pay for that! Hmm This is the first year she has really got excited so she will be going. Would I get away with sending her and just not paying....

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 28/11/2013 13:26

It's not unreasonable of them if they knock a day off your fees, or offer you another free session. Is that what you want? Or maybe they could not give her a present and look after her in another room when the magician is on.

Are you going to get cross when asked to contribute to school trips in the future (cause we pay for school too)?

You could of course suggest they don't have Christmas parties, esp if enough parents agree with you.

Chocoholic21 · 28/11/2013 13:28

I was very surprised last year when I got the letter about DDs pre-school Christmas party. It is out of school hours from 4pm until 6pm, they have an entertainer, food, visit from Father Christmas and a present each and they don't ask for any money. I spoke to a friend who is on the PTA a few weeks ago about it and she said the money they raise from the Christmas fair generally covers the cost. I think it's a lovely thing to do, and they all enjoy it.

msmoss · 28/11/2013 13:28

YANBU that is really crap, they seem to have loads of parties at DS's nursery and I've only ever been asked for a contribution when they do a charity day, which is once a year.

flowery · 28/11/2013 13:28

They ought to have the option to attend for the session as normal without paying extra and going to the party. Although of course you want her to go.

Our nursery party is on a Saturday morning and there's no charge, only bring food.

BrianButterfield · 28/11/2013 13:35

Our nursery let children come to the party for free if it isn't their day to be in, so this seems tight to me.

morethanpotatoprints · 28/11/2013 13:54

OP, its to cover costs surely?
The magician won't be free

RaspberrySchnapps · 28/11/2013 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsRogerSterling · 28/11/2013 14:15

I would just turn up at nursery on the day as usual and drop dd off. They are hardly going to kick her out of the party are they?!

AmandaCooper · 28/11/2013 14:18

I think it's perfectly fine to charge for little extras like the occasional party or trip - as long as the nursery is upfront about doing so and mentions it in their terms of business. It's not ok to agree to one thing and then expect something else - particularly if you are a business and the party you're dealing with is an individual.

pointyfangs · 28/11/2013 15:02

Charging to cover the cost of a present would not be unreasonable. Saying 'pay up the extra or we won't provide the childcare you have already paid for' is very, very unreasonable indeed.

Our nursery never charged, they arranged for a Santa and did party food and asked parents to sneak in a cheap little pressie for their child. If the parents couldn't, there would always be little packs of crayons, books and so on for those children.

Mim78 · 28/11/2013 15:05

I think they are unreasonable, but as it's only £5 you might have to just get on with it. Your child will enjoy the party and that's something positive. If it's generally a good nursery and you are happy with them then it's probably not a big deal. If you are unhappy with them generally then that is another story.

I wonder if you could find out how other parents feel about this and maybe put in a joint complaint? perhaps they are unhappy too.

Ragwort · 28/11/2013 15:10

Ridiculous.

A nursery should be able to organise a Christmas party without having to pay extra for an entertainer.

I used to be on the committee for a community pre-school and this sort of thing was always included for all children (and their siblings Grin). Someone would dress up as FC (yes, they were CRB checked).

lilyaldrin · 28/11/2013 15:14

If it's a private nursery and extras like this aren't mentioned in the contract, then I don't see how they can insist you pay or keep her off. If you don't want to pay the £5 just send her in as usual - they can't refuse care.

azzbiscuit · 28/11/2013 15:15

There might be an argument for those parents who pay zero per month and are entirely funded by the government to pay a contribution, but when you're paying through the nose for childcare it's a complete pisstake.

DancingLady · 28/11/2013 15:20

YANBU. If it's part of her regular session, you shouldn't have to pay extra.

PeanutPatty · 28/11/2013 16:20

It's the being held to ransom over it is what I find so wrong, rude and arrogant.