So. From what can be gathered from recent Mumsnet threads, the A-Z of school priorities should be:
a) Not give out Star of the Week awards in case your child doesn’t win.
b) Not not give out Star of the Week awards because your child deserves to win.
c) Not go on school trips because somebody might get cold or you might forget to provide them with a drink and then dig about for ways to attack the legality of the trip.
d) Not do school trips targeted at particular groups of students in case your child isn’t one of them.
e) Not not do school trips because otherwise your child isn’t getting enough opportunities.
f) Never exclude a violent child (especially your child).
g) Always exclude a child that is violent towards your child.
h) Never do any sort of school production in case your child doesn’t get exactly the part they want.
i) Don’t not do a school production otherwise parents and children will be disappointed.
j) Never, ever tell a child off in case they find it “humiliating”.
k) If you do tell a child off, make sure you do it in full isolation from any other human beings (because of the “humiliation”).
l) Always tell a child off if they have been mean to your child.
m) Provide entertainment for your child if you’re late to pick them up, because you only do that a couple of times a term.
n) Never do lessons that have any distressing content unless you have arranged with all your spare staff members to individually supervise any child that decides they don’t want to participate.
o) Don’t force your child to eat their lunch.
p) Make sure your child eats their lunch.
q) Use your psychic powers to detect when a child is upset, even if they don’t tell you anything about it.
r) Stop other children being mean to your child.
s) Don’t stop your child from being mean to other children, because it’s just part of his/her quirky and adorable personality.
t) Stick carefully to health and safety rules.
u) Don’t stick to health and safety rules if they’ve been broken by your child, because they never behave in a way that could be dangerous to themselves or others.
v) Make specific children play with your child.
w) Don’t make your child play with specific children.
x) Don’t expect your child to sit anywhere near disruptive children.
y) If your child is disruptive, make sure the school accepts full blame.
z) Allow your child to follow only the bits of the uniform rules they think are sensible.
And finally, if you work in a school, don't EVER complain about your job because everybody knows it's dead easy and you only did it for the long holidays anyway.