I feel some of the recent Xmas threads are pisstakes...

[ssd]

I know a thread about a thread is a no no. so I'm not defining which threads I mean...but seriously, whats going on? Some of the threads are wind ups for sure, someone out there is having a laugh...

David Cameron
You took our town and fucked it
Thanks, you utter cunt

Is that Haiku?

I had a thread a few months back where I was accused of begging and being a troll. That was fun! You'll always get one like that honestly, best to just ignore them and focus on the helpful users

Marceline Funny how it happens like that, because last year I came on here in a shit and a panic (and literally in tears) because H got to work to be told "we have closed your unit, you are not getting your wages or your redundancy pay, claim it off the government" and to my knowledge it didnt get reported, certainly it didnt get the standard MN warning.

I dont know why, I am not MN royalty or particularly well known and it could well have looked like a begging post because all I could think of was the kids and Xmas!

Double, sometimes people just disbelieve because they find it outside their experience or don't want to believe that people can be in such difficult circumstances.

Unfortunately life can genuinely be extremely shit sometimes though. I wouldn't worry about it if you can help it.

I think the threads the OP means are the rash of threads that appear around this time, right when there is a prominent thank you Christmas appeal thread - it's like the "thank you so much I received x,y,z" posts inspire a sudden spate of them.

I should say that this was almost exactly, but for a few days, a year ago so well into Xmas shopping season. Odd thinking back that nothing was reported.

Doublelife, I thought AmyMumsnet at MNHQ was being over zealous.
Your thread was obviously looking for support.
Hope you are ok. Any progress on getting back into your flat?

Bogey, that can't be a Scandinavian haiku if the sentences are meant to seem unconnected. As the first and last sentences so very obviously go together.

Truth is beauty though.

Ok you're all lovely and now am crying! I don't dare look at any of the PMs as if they are people offering stuff I'll feel awful and if they're people doubting me I'll feel awful... And instead I feel awful that people must think I'm being a bitch not replying to the PMs they spent thought and effort over.

You may have noticed the theme... Am feeling awful whatever I do. I don't know what's happened, am not coping at all whereas last week I was so much more together and focused. Am just not good right now and hating self for it cos it's not bloody helping. Argh! My stuff upper lip has got washed away. Ffs.

Its random isn't it? Equally im not well known ( though i would argue people would know your name!) But I thought fuck it man I've been here seven years and people are calling me about cunt for getting my purse robbed?

I got fired in October thank fuck it wasn't December id have had my arse scorched! !

Bad debt ? Sorry but the credit card didn't take itself to the shop did it ? I can't abide these people and their run away spending who then grizzle that they are broke.

I rather suspect that Quint was referring to people like me, who had decent jobs and a life that they could afford. Then, through no fault of their own, suddenly couldnt make the mortgage or rent payments. Couldnt pay the loan they took out when they knew they could afford it.

10 days before H lost his job we bought a new (to us) car. We did it on finance after years of semi crap cars that cost more than they were worth to keep on the road. We didnt buy bangers, but we bought the best we could on savings. His job was good, we needed a new car, we looked into and prevaricated for a while and then when we got told that our car would cost almost as much as it was worth (4 figures if we got it fixed, £150 if we didnt) to get through it MOT, we went for it.

We now have to find the payments every month because thanks to depreciation we currently owe more than the car is worth and will do for atleast another year. If we hadnt been able to find that money then the car would have been repossessed and we would still owe them money that we wouldnt have. That is bad debt. Not made CC spending, just life!

YY Bogey i totally get it. Im doing the slimming world plan and if i get given any chocs for xmas i will take them to the food bank. i REFUSE to throw food out when ppl are in need. It would be perverse.
its obvious what a pressie is. (if its a tin and hexagon shaped its obvs Quality Street) my nephew got me a tin last year. If i get them earlyish i will try to get them down there as soon as i can.

I understand what you're saying Bogeyface. I've been unemployed for nearly a year now myself. It's not for the want of trying either. I've applied for dozens of jobs and even been interviewed but I've yet to get an offer of employment. We get by on my husband's salary but this isn't the life we planned.

Anyway, back on topic please one and all.

GhettoPrincess that is a horrible thing to say and you have no idea.

For years when the DDs were young we had no choice but to put stuff like food on the credit card because we never had enough money to last until the end of the month. DH was in a NMW job and I was only working part time because to put the children in childcare in those days meant I would have been no better off. So I worked when DH was at home and we hardly saw each other.

We never went out and never bought clothes for ourselves. We did not smoke or drink. We had no fancy gadgets. The money was for food and council tax and for DH to get to work.

We have £5000 of credit card debt from those days. I don't have to use the credit cards any more, thankfully, because things are better than they were, but nor can I afford to pay off anything other than the minimum either. Last month the amount we owed went down by 7p, the rest was interest.

This is NOT a begging thread - DD1 is nearly 18 now and DD2 will be able to get a little job in a couple of years and then we should be able to start paying it back. But it makes me very cross when people suggest that we are irresponsible to have got in that debt. We were the working poor who fell through the net - we were often worse off than those on benefits in those days - and the reality for many, many people is that getting into debt is the only way to eat and keep a roof over their heads. Posters who don't understand that don't realise how priviledged they are.

YANBU

I think it would be best if posters were only offered sympathy and advice rather than offering money or goods. This would encourage those in need of non material help and would put off any trolls.

You just can't tell who is genuine and who isn't. It simply isn't possible.

I've been avoiding all of those threads, because they're upsetting and also because I honestly wouldn't know what was genuine or not.

It had never even occurred to me that people would try underhand begging methods on here until it was mentioned on another thread the other day.

It's terrible because it takes away from the genuine ones.

GhettoPrincess - this thread was not the place for your snide little remarks about people in debt or alcoholics. I hope that post gets deleted. And then to say 'back on topic' - you took it off topic.

I have to say that if it wasnt for the fact that I bought this house at the absolute arse end of the last crash, and got a good deal on a (100%! those were the days!) mortgage, then we would have lost our home too.

We wouldnt be able to afford the rent on a 3 bed place around here. And if we moved (taking the kids from the only place they have ever lived and the house that some of them were born in) it would be to somewhere with even less jobs and less prospects and so the cycle goes on until we are in emergency accomodation facing having our children taken into care because we cant provide them with a home.

THIS HAPPENS. Watch Cathy Come Home, think "aahh well that was then..." and then open a newspaper that isnt the Sun or the Daily Fail.

Post reported

There is someone who has started a thread because they are genuinely sad regarding Christmas because they are genuinely broke. She is hurt by this thread if anyone thought it was her hard luck story or begging bowl.

GhettoPrincess

I can understand you being pissed off at irresponsible bad debt when you are finding it hard yourself. But "getting by" and not having the life you planned is a drop in the ocean to the struggles that some people have through no fault of their own.

No one wants CCJs or being summonsed to court for non payment of Council Tax or an IVA or bankruptcy. Some people do walk right into it and dont elicit much sympathy, but most of us dont! I am lucky in that through some financial juggling that would make the Exchequer blush, we avoided that, but many people dont.

None of us can see into the future, so we make our decisions based on what we know and can reasonably guess. When H and I took out a 4 year finance deal on a good car that we needed and couldnt otherwise buy it was after scrutinising our finances, our plans and employment. When he lost his job that fucked up our plans and our finances, how can you forsee that?

I dont think this is a thread about a thread (or rather, not about that thread Ghetto) but about the bastards that will use the sympathy that we have for someone struggling and try to use it for their own ends. They are utter bastards not only because they try to defraud people but because they stop people like the OP in the thread you mention from receiving emotional (and yes, sometimes practical or financial) help from others that would like to do something but are frightened of being taken in by a con.

All these fuckers do is render every "OMG what are we going to do?" thread as troll hunter fodder :(

Yeah, usual story, how do you know the genuine from the frauds ?

I now know that there are people who will shamelessly use Social Services, Foodbanks, Salvation Army, good will in general to suit themselves because they are hard faced predators who are just all about themselves and everyone else is their stooge.

That remark was not aimed at anyone, rather just generally agreeing with this topic.

Funny you should mention Sally Army. I know someone in the Sally Army in our town who has said that although genuine requests for food have definitely increased, theirs have gone through the roof because they dont need SS/GP etc referrals where as the YMCA (who run the other food bank) do.

They didnt want referrals because they wanted to target people who either cant or wont get help through official agencies but now they may need to as they know that they have been targetted by people using the service when they dont need it. And so, families who could go anonymously and ask for help may not be able to anymore. But hey, why do these people give a fuck? They got the free stuff they wanted :(

GhettoPrincess, I used to put food on the CC, and pay for winter heat and cooking gas, and petrol to run my car, and insurance for the car. That was pretty much all I ever spent money on, and I am still paying off almost 8k of debt I incurred, trying to keep myself and five children alive and just about warm enough not to freeze to death but not warm enough to keep from seeing our breath in the kitchen on winter mornings. The DCs wore hand me down knickers for several years. If it hadn't been for my wonderful aunt and a wonderful uncle, we would have had to turn off the heat because there were months I couldn't have made the minimum payments without them.

I don't think you understand what you said at all, or how offensive it was.

I have never once been inside a Starbucks or had my nails done. That sort of frivolous spending would be unthinkable to me even though I am doing much better (better beyond recognition) now.

What happened to me? Divorce from a complete jerk.