to be getting fed up with friend's constant presents?

[IDontWantToOutMyself]

My friend texted me today to tell me my Advent present is ready to be picked up. This is on top of Halloween, Back to School, Start of Summer, Easter, Valentine's Day... every single holiday she gives our group of friends something. It's normally about £5 in value, but there are 5 of us.

It makes me feel SO guilty because I just can't afford to reciprocate. She also keeps telling us that she's skint all the time. We've tried saying it's too much, don't bother, please don't, but she just won't listen.

Am I being a mega-bitch?

you dont have to accept the present you know

No. She sounds really needy, so I think I'd delay collecting the gift until she gets the message!

How can I decline though? It'd be like kicking a puppy!

I don't want to stop seeing her, I'd just like the presents to stop!

Reminds me of a girl at school when we were about 13.She brought in a gift for our english teacher every day for the term.They ranged from chocolate bars to scarves and were presented in full view of the class.Sorry;not helpful but I feel your discomfort.

Can you try again but really focus on how it makes you feel (eg bad, worried) or else write a gentle email when it's not just when she's given you something which might carry more impact?
I feel for you!

well speak your truths quietly and clearly and put her right-SIMPLES good luck.Just be straight with her.all the best

It sounds to me that she needs reassurance that you will still be her friends if she stops giving presents. Give that along with a gentle but firm telling that it has to stop!

Ok. That sounds good, I can definitely word something along the lines of feelings and wanting her, not presents!

So glad I'm not being horrible.

Maybe she just likes treating you! Its not the same but I often buy my two best friends little things like a mug that I know they'd like or something for the baby or a box of cakes,its just eandom not an occasion but I like to treat people :)

I've got a friend like this. She measures caring in material goods. I show I am a good friend by driving you to the airport or helping you move. She wouldn't do those things and she shows she cares by buying us Easter tea towels.

I used to be like this. Growing up with a bad childhood which resulted in very low self esteem meant I believed (and still do) that people couldn't possibly like me just based on my personality.

I didn't buy as often as your friend did though. But if this is the case then try and make her see that it's her you love, not the gifts.

OP, are you in the US? The only people I've ever met who would consider Valentine's Day, or Back to School 'holidays' were Americans!