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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To take my DD to school?

21 replies

TheXmasLogIn · 27/11/2013 14:04

DD has been sent home from school 'sick'. She got a hair stuck in her throat while eating her lunch, choked on it and vomited a little. Usual 48 hour rule applies apparently, so that's 2 and a half days lost pay for me etc. plus she is upset to be missing out on school and tbh totally bored already.

But DS has his school assembly this afternoon, he has a big part and been practising for weeks. I've promised I will be there to watch him. I have no other childcare for DD, especially not at this short notice. AIBU to consider taking DD with me to watch, she is only 7 so not able to stay home alone and definitely not feeling unwell.

OP posts:
Feminine · 27/11/2013 14:11

I think she should be able to go in, as the sickness was caused by getting something stuck not a virus. Confused

I'd just do it. tbh.

hope it works out!

NoComet · 27/11/2013 14:21

Take her and send her to school tomorrow, give her a note and let your phone go to voice mail.

Original poster
TheXmasLogIn · 27/11/2013 16:24

Well I tried to take her but, they wouldn't allow us in. They offered inside for DS to come out early and miss the assembly instead. Luckily a friend's mum took some photos and waved to him instead. He was disappointed but ok about it, although angry at DD a bit, but mainly because she is getting 2 days off school and he isn't I think.

Oh and I was told if I bring her in tomorrow they will ring me to get her immediately. If I refuse apparently the procedure is to then contact Social Services as she will be 'an uncollected child'

OP posts:
breatheslowly · 28/11/2013 20:51

I think you need to raise this with the HT and then on to the governors if you don't get anywhere.

junkfoodaddict · 28/11/2013 21:06

Crikey that's harsh! I'm a Y2 teacher and our school has NEVER done anything like that. We've frowned a bit when some parents do send children to school clearly sick. Did your daughter tell school that she had a hair stuck in her throat or is she of an age (i.e. KS1) whre she didn't have the maturity to do so?
Definitely speak to the HT about this.

ProudAS · 28/11/2013 22:24

YANBU and I'm wondering whether the 48 hour rule does more harm than good. My colleague's DS got excluded from nursery for 2 days after being sick due to reflux despite Dr's note to say there was no need to exclude him.

phantomnamechanger · 28/11/2013 22:29

what a load of rubbish! just tell them she was not sick she was chocking and gagged up a bit, there is a huge difference! going by their rules DD would have had to have 2 days off when she was sick on the coach on a trip! Grin

phantomnamechanger · 28/11/2013 22:29

to clarify, i meant travel sickness.^^

ProudAS · 28/11/2013 22:35

And what happens if a girl is regularly sick at the start of her period (which I was as a teenager)? Things have got ridiculous!

AngiBolen · 28/11/2013 22:40

I can understand why schools might want to minimise the spread of bugs ( I know of one class where 9 children out of 30 were off throwing up last week) but these are probably the same schools who will fine you for keeping your DC off when they are ill, claiming you were on holiday in a town one hour away.

I had to collect my DS from school for throwing up once,.......he could vomit on demand, and chose to do so on this occasion because another child had done an orange juice burp near his mouth, and DS wanted to make sure none of the other childs burp was in him.

wonderstuff · 28/11/2013 22:43

I doubt they'd contact social services, they won't be able to do anything and I personally would only want to contact social services with actual cp issues, boy who cried wolf and all that. Though they sound like loons for putting you in this position, so I guess anythings possible.

musicposy · 28/11/2013 23:42

They should know the difference between a bug and a gag reaction.

Like AngiBolen's DS, DD2 could and frequently did vomit on demand as a young child and was frequently sent home from school because of it. The school never "got it" despite me telling them. Though secretly quite funny was when she was sent home for being sick on another child's shoes and when I asked what had made her feel unwell she said "Nothing, x was being really nasty to me so I was sick on her shoes. I told the teacher that's why I was sick on her shoes but she didn't believe me."

I too took her into a school assembly after one such episode and was promptly told off and ejected by the staff. It's ridiculous but I doubt you can do much. Seems crazy when I read threads of genuinely ill children whose parents are threatened with fines!!

kickassangel · 28/11/2013 23:55

Just wait til they fine you for dd having low attendance ...

Thatisall · 29/11/2013 00:41

It's not just me is it? Schools have become a bit weird and militant recently?

Xochiquetzal · 29/11/2013 04:12

Some teachers just go over the top with this, yes if a child is actually ill and being sick they shouldn't come in but surely there should be some common sense.

DS has very bad reflux and pukes if he eats too much, every so often a dinner lady will tell him to finish his lunch and coz he won't stand up for himself he'd eat it and bring it up again so then be expected to stay off, it took ages to get the teachers to accept he could stay in school, thankfully HT is great and got her staff to understand eventually but he missed a lot of reception/year 1.

intitgrand · 29/11/2013 04:54

the trouble is that some parents would lie that it was a gagging response so that they doo t have to miss work

ProudAS · 29/11/2013 08:11

And what about those parents who tell the truth and whose DCs miss school needlessly (then get a warning about attendance). A child with a sickness bug would probably have other symptoms and throw up more than once - not a foregone conclusion I know but a balance has to be struck.

And don't forget that a child with a sickness bug was probably infectious before symptoms appeared so classmates have already been exposed. I'm not saying that the child should be in school but it helps to put the risks associated with them being there into perspective.

I'm wondering whether the 48 hour rule does more harm than good. It wasn't around when we were growing up and I don't remember sickness bugs being any more common then. It encourages certain people to lie rather than take time off work and schools to exclude kids for no good reason.

LIZS · 29/11/2013 08:14

dd did this once and school didn't even phone me to collect her !

ProudAS · 29/11/2013 08:18

Glad to see there's still some common sense Liz

pointyfangs · 29/11/2013 09:08

My DDs' primary were always sensible about it - they came in from breakfast club in a minibus every day and they are both carsickers so yes, there were incidents. Common sense prevailed, let's face it you can tell if it's car sickness because it disappears more or less instantly the moment the child gets out of the car...

ProudAS · 29/11/2013 09:32

I've heard stories of kids being excluded from school for being car sick on the transport. I can understand caution the first time it happens but when it repeatedly happens to the same child its a different matter.

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