mil from hell

[thebody]

I know that it's fashionable on mumsnet to have a vile mil but mine was fantastic and now sadly no longer with us.

my lads are now in their 20s and have not yet persuaded any sensible girl to settle down with them yet I am worried!!

will I be a tittle tattle at the school gate?

will I mention the age that I stopped BF,? introduced solids?

will I in my senility give my GC chocolate/ sweets?

will I park in a mother and toddler space and not realise my ovaries are acthually shrivelled(wish they were)

will I treat my grown up dds better than my ddils,?? the stress!!!

who has us/ them/ anyone at Christmas!!!omg!!

in short am I a nightmare mil in training???

aibu to worry?

I loved my late MIL, she was a most lovely lady, miss her dreadfully

You'll be fine, body, just fine. YABU you silly thing

I've had 3 MiLs - one hideous vile hag whose grave I will happily dance on Come The Glorious Day the old bat actually gives in and dies one lovely, who I WISH I could still be closer to than I am, and DHs mother who is meh - we are more or less utterly indifferent to each other, ignore each other and it suits us both to do so.
Having had the extremes of "good" and "bad" I do sometimes wonder how my pfb's fiancee (who I do call my DiL) thinks of me, but so far so good - she lived here with us for several months before they go their own place, with never a cross word, and we actually get on better than pfb and I do so hopefully she doesn't feel I am the "MiL from Hell"

Got a fantastic MIL < never follows fashion>

I am sure you will be fine, it's the DIL that are hell.

absolutely. I will love my dils as I love my dds? thats the staring point anyway?

I'm very fond of my Mil and I do worry a bit about this as I only have boys so might one day be a dreaded Mil. When I read many Mil threads I always wish we could have the Mil's version!

You get the MIL's version on Gransnet. I lurked there a couple of times.

I adore my MIL. She's as nutty as a fruitcake and has bent over backwards to help me when I've needed it, I'd do anything for her. The poor bugger has gone and ended up with me as a DIL, so she's paying the price bless her. You'll be fine OP, just fine. I personally hope I end up like my MIL, she's my role model :)

My MIL turned up at the weekend with a hamper full of lovely things, Stilton and wine for me, vodka things for dds and beer for ds, we love her!

1944girl. scary stuff what made you the mil from hell?

bling and the masters ooh gransnet? ok am early/mid/late/ 40s but think that's normal now

My MIL is pretty cool. However, DH and I have 5 boys between us so I'm petrified. I don't think the partners of women have as many ishoos with in-laws, fingers crossed we'll be ok with the girls!

Love my mil loads!

My ExMil is fab as is ExFil, im so bloody lucky...

I love my MIL and FIL to bits. I am very lucky!

My MIL is literally the mother I wished I had growing up. I hope I'm half as good a mother as she is.

DD's 15 months so I don't know what kind of mil I'll be. Got time to work on it!

I had one good one and one bad one (so it's definitely not me). I knew I had a good one when I was dating DH. i was looking after his nephew and he was trying to jump off something high. I warned him it was too high. He jumped off and cried. MIL came out of the house. Oh dear, I thought. She just said, "you'll listen to Terry next time, won't you?" and went back in. I knew I was marrying her son after that.

I'm a MILfromhell according to DIL2b, mother to dgs2, with whom I am permitted no contact. Mother of dgs1, ds2's ex, says dh and I are brilliant gp, "supportive when needed, not intrusive otherwise". Meh.

I loved my MiL and I get on really well with my sons' partners. I think that's more common than it appears on MN.

However, there are a few "precious" DiLs around as can be seen from some threads on here.

Also a few women think that men should forget the wider family and devote themselves totally to their wives and DCs. And moan when they don't. In my (albeit limited) experience when men are forced to choose it doesn't always go the way these women want.

Men aren't possessions or children to be ordered around.

You are only going to be the MIL from hell if you are a controlling parent who won't let go. I am going to be one soon and am really excited but I have worked up a good relationship, that isn't dependant on my son, over the past 5 years. People on here only vent with a bad one and it gives a skewed picture.
I agree with Morgause and you certainly see the 'precious' DIL on here!

My DM's SIL and DIL, would probably have a different opinion on what kind of MIL she is, but my SIL is quite hard to get on with.

I've had a good one and a bad one. To be fair my mil is pleasant enough to my face but is a terrible gossip and is very mean behind people's backs. I can't stand gossip mongering. She is also pretty vile to DH.

My other mil was lovely.

My MIL is lovely, DH and she are very close, speak to each other several times a week, and I don't stand in the way of that at all, encourage them to visit (other side of the world) and they have stayed with us for up to 6 weeks at a time.

She came to help when both DSs were born, and she really did help - but only agreed to help when I asked, told DH what I wanted to happen at the time of the birth was what was important, not what he wanted. She fed me, made me endless cups of tea, offered to hold the DSs when they cried for what felt like an eternity at 2 am in the morning, did the cleaning, washing ruining tops etc.

She's not as hands on with my DSs as I might have liked, but I think their whole family is far more hands off than my family is so I've just accepted that.

I'm probably not the easiest of DILs, but I've made it clear I won't get my nose out of joint if she wants to go out with just DH for lunch occasionally etc and I'm sure she appreciates that.