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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to wonder why parents allow thier kids free range PC's/Tablets/Smart phones etc

78 replies

ElenorRigby · 26/11/2013 15:43

I was reading about a mum who was having awful trouble with her preteen kids who would get very angry or worse if she tried to part them from PC's.

AIBU to not get why parents let this happen?

OP posts:

Tee2072 · 26/11/2013 16:52

My four year old has computers in his classroom. Surely your 11 and 7 year old do as well?

How will they learn the dangers if you never teach them?

Timeforabiscuit · 26/11/2013 16:58

Depends how that parent deals with it really, kids get grumpy when they don't get what they want - shouldn't be a surprise as it starts from birth ....

The wider debate of appropriate exposure to technology parents barely understand themselves I'll leave for another time as dd wants a turn on my iPhone

treaclesoda · 26/11/2013 17:00

well, he doesn't work in the field of playing Jet Set Willie for a living, although I guarantee he would love that!

I just mean that playing round on computers as a child led to an interest in them, teaching himself a bit of programming, discovering he liked it, studying it seriously, and eventually to a career in IT. He loves his job, and he would say that his interest undoubtedly started with those pixellated games way back in the mists of time.

CPtart · 26/11/2013 17:02

Jet Set Willie and Manic Miner...wow, that brings back good memories!

ouryve · 26/11/2013 17:03

My DH is the same, treacle.

Just having to prise DS1 away from ucoin because his pc time is up. May have to threaten him again with reinstatement of the timer.

Timeforabiscuit · 26/11/2013 17:04

Oh it's ok she playing lemmings instead, which makes me a bit mushy as I used to play it for hours when I was young......

I'd say it didn't do any harm, but I didn't like people that much and I now wear glasses.....

LtEveDallas · 26/11/2013 17:10

My DD (8) has free rein on, and her own: iPhone (no Sim Card), iPad (mine really), PC and Kindle.

She uses them whenever she wants, but probably not more than an hour a day.

She isn't on FB, but does chat to people on other forms of social media (message boards of certain games)

Every classroom in her school has an Internet enabled PC and 2 tablets. Some of the 'educational' sites the school uses also have message boards - she was very excited the other day to 'talk' to someone in her Nanas home town.

One (optional) piece of homework per week is web based, the school has it's own log on and the children their own passwords.

DD already has excellent typing skills alongside the ability to use Word, PowerPoint, Excel, smart screens etc.

I think you do your kids a disservice

IfNotNowThenWhen · 26/11/2013 17:25

I do think parents who let their kids have mobile internet devices, and think that they are able to police their internet activities are somewhat naive. Huge % of 11 year olds have seen porn. Probably the same ones whose parents think they know what their kids are looking at.
I certainly wouldn't allow my 7 year old to "chat" to strangers online.

I have been using computers since early 80's, and the internet since 1994 and I have noticed that since the advent of Windows, and Apple stuff, computers have become SO user friendly that, while kids are great at using the applications, they don't necessarily learn anything about technology.
I know this from work, because nobody under 25 can ever troubleshoot an IT problem, however simple. They are on the phone to IT support in total bewilderment!

LtEveDallas · 26/11/2013 17:31

I certainly wouldn't allow my 7 year old to "chat" to strangers online

The 'strangers' my DD is chatting to are other children doing the same lessons / homework.

Huge % of 11 year olds have seen porn. Probably the same ones whose parents think they know what their kids are looking at

That's what parental controls are made for. I do know what my DD is looking at.

Tee2072 · 26/11/2013 17:35

Not exactly sure how I wouldn't know what my so is looking at when he's sat next to me or his father the whole time he's on a device that is hooked up to the internet.

Nothing like scaremongering and misinformation. Thanks for that.

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 26/11/2013 17:40

My DD is 6, knows her way around a PC and Tablet, despite never being able to use them at home, we dont even have a tablet, closest shes got to is DSi.

Original poster

ElenorRigby · 26/11/2013 17:45

Lots of offensive defensive replies, which was to be expected I suppose

If I parked the girls on tech all day everyday I guess Id feel guilty and be defensive too.

OP posts:

LtEveDallas · 26/11/2013 17:51

You are the one sounding defensive love. No-one has said their children are "parked on tech all day every day"

Oh well, bit of exaggeration was to be expected I suppose

Tee2072 · 26/11/2013 17:55

I think the OP was expecting us all to smack our foreheads in amazement at her revelation instead of saying "and so?"

Original poster

ElenorRigby · 26/11/2013 18:04

I got called love how terribly PA!!!

Thanks for the posts from hulababy and IfNotNowThenWhen, v interesting.

OP posts:

IfNotNowThenWhen · 26/11/2013 18:15

"when he's sat next to me or his father the whole time he's on a device that is hooked up to the internet."

That's why I specified "mobile internet devices"

I am glad people are using parental controls, and sat in the same room as their kids online, and am certainly not scaremongering, just stating facts is all.

Killinascullion · 26/11/2013 18:20

Why should people under 25 (or over) be required to troubleshoot IT operating system/hardware problems?

Surely it's no different to learning to drive but not being able to service the car? You wouldn't bat an eye at taking the car to the garage for its annual service, would you?

How is this related to children spending (too much) time on iPads/phones/technology generally?

Tee2072 · 26/11/2013 18:23

A device would include mobile internet devices. He is four, he has none of his own (he's getting a Leap Pad for Christmas though). When he does have one of his own he still won't be allowed to use it without a parent right there.

Not sure why that makes a difference, though.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 26/11/2013 18:34

Ooooh Tee - I'm getting DS2 a Leap Pad too! Not the latest model though (out of my price range), the Leap Pad 2. Got a cracking deal on it at a local toyshop.

We can compare notes on Boxing Day

Tee2072 · 26/11/2013 18:37

Heart mine is getting an Ultra from his grandparents. They offered, I wasn't going to say no!

LtEveDallas · 26/11/2013 18:39

Thinking about it, it's not even a 'new' thing is it? DSD is 18 now and I can remember back when she was 8 or 9 her spending hours chatting to her school friends on MSN. Her mum used to set a kitchen timer for 59 minutes because they had an hours free access per day, she'd hand up and her mate would call back!

IamInvisible · 26/11/2013 18:41

My DC are currently playing on the PS3. They put their iPads down especially to do it. They have laptops and smartphones and are getting Kindles for Christmas.

One of the reasons they have their own gadgets is I can not be bothered to police the continuing arguments and giving them set times to be having their turn. They are older now (16&18) bit have had laptops for years.

TheSmallPrint · 26/11/2013 18:42

All the grammar schools round here are requiring children to have an iPad in yr 8 at school and are actively using them in lessons. I think you may need to relax a bit.

LtEveDallas · 26/11/2013 18:47

TheSmallPrint, my DNeice's bog standard comp is doing the same - or at least states that all pupils need Internet Access. Luckily DNeice was able to get a laptop under the Ever6 rules.

cantspel · 26/11/2013 18:49

IamInvisible mine are a similar age and each have their own gadgets and always have done. Sharing is pretty shit imo and so much easier just to each have their own.

At these ages they are long past the age where i feel any need to police what they are doing and even if i tried they are so much more computer savy then me they would just get around the controls.

They have always had a certain amount of unlimted access and i have never caught them doing or viewing something they shouldn;t so they are either a lot more sneaky than i thought or have grown up with computers and can and do use them responsibly.

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