to think someone should invent a "twatty knobhead" detector...

[Brittapie]

... and incorporate it into the wedding ceremony?

Of course, that wouldn't catch the cohabiting twatty knobheads, but it would be a start...

I had several. More than one person told me not to marry my ex-H. Did I listen? Did I bollocks.

"Twatty knobhead" detectors are drowned out by wedding music. Well known fact.

There are a number of distinctive markings and behaviours. For example, a rugby jersey with the collar pulled up is a well documented one.

I've found (admittedly I tend to keep the twatty knobhead for quite a while, so a lot of my data is from my friends) that the phrase "nobody really understands him" is quite a good indicator too...

That and "he's like marmite- you love him or loathe him". That's actually the slogan of the Twatty Knobhead Society, I heard.

Oh, especially if his ex happened to be a total bitch...

great idea. There is one that attracts these types - can you tell me what it looks like as it is attached to my car and I can't find it?

every evening another near-death experience as people can't cope with doing 55 in a 60 limit on a dangerous road.

why don't these people just die?

Russell Brand would be single for life if one was invented.