To wonder how to play this (Xmas related)

[GirlRunning]

Every year we have honorary Christmas with DSD s (15 and 13) and have done for years because they go abroad with their Mum for Christmas/New Year. We usually do this the weekend we have them before Christmas and it’s been great, Turkey, presents etc around 20th December.

But this year, our DD is 3 and understands the concept of Christmas now and is excited about the whole thing. So how do we explain what this extra celebration is? And when should Father Christmas bring his presents? This isn’t just this year but building the tradition for next year etc too. I don’t want real Christmas Day to lose its appeal because she’s already had her presents but I don't want her to have little presents when the older ones will inevitably get more? The more I think about the more confused and stressed I’m getting so I think I need other peoples experiences and a fresh thought process on it!

Santa brings a couple early for her but she gets the rest on Christmas Day. Santa comes twice because her siblings go away.

My stepsons get a stocking at our house and at their mothers house because they have two homes. Santa is very clever and understand that families are different. That is why different people celebrate in different ways.

All this is indisputable fact

The extra celebration is seeing her SSs at xmastime isn't it?
The 15 and 13 don't think their presents are from Santa.
And I can't imagine they'll be getting pillow pets and furreal toys etc hat your DD will be covetting.

Can't your DD open a present from her SSs when they come and wait for Father Christmas to come on christmas day.

Your SDs presents are under the tree for them.

Could the DSDs give DD a present from them, brought specially early by Father Christmas, for the early celebration and then you have real Christmas on Christmas Day with her and she gets her other presents then?

If the DSDs are 13 and 15 they may be able to help you with some ideas to make things special for their little sister - they might enjoy being involved in that way too.

As Father Christmas is made up (sorry folks ), just make up what suits the situation and keeps everyone happy. You can always tell her that FC makes things extra special by letting you have two Christmases. At 3, she is unlikely to really question things - when she gets older it'll get trickier.

Thank you for the ideas. Yes obviously DSDs know FC isn't real but they'll be opening presents all the same and we have to explain to DD where they came from.

wowfudge thats a good idea and you're right as he's not actually real I should stop stressing and make it up to suit us. I think I will let her have one or two presents to open from her sisters and then build up to Christmas day!

Don't overthink it! :)

We do basically the same thing. My DSCs (now teens/adults) always spend the big day itself with their mum, and we always have a 'second Christmas' with them during the holidays.

Our DCs (4 and 6) just accept having two xmases because that's all they've ever known, so it's no big deal at all. They open their presents from us on Xmas day when it's just us 4, and when we have the second Xmas (which can either be before or after, depending mostly on people's work schedules) they only open their presents from DSCs (so 3 things each basically).

So obviously DSCs have much more to open than DCs on 'second Xmas' but it's fine! And TBH as the DSCs are older it's not like they are opening toys, it's more clothes and little gadgetty things so the difference isn't that stark IYSWIM?

WRT Santa, my DCs know that Santa only visits on Xmas eve. And he only does stockings and a couple of big things, everything else is from us. So, they know that Santa does visit their bigger siblings but at their house on Xmas day. So, when they visit us, if it's after Xmas then DD will ask "what did Santa bring you" and DSCs play along beautifully and tell them what was in their stockings :) If not then they'll tell them over the phone later. So basically both sets of children get a visit from Santa and get family pressies too, but not necessarily at the same time.

Don't worry - children are adaptable and I'm sure both days will be wonderfully magical!

BTW we don't do stockings for the DSCs as their mum likes to do that, so it doesn't complicate the Santa issue. We do get them lots of little stocking filler type bits but it's not in a stocking

If she's only 3 now, by the time she's old enough to really get it, the stepsisters will be out the other side, so they will be able to play along with whatever you put in place.

For now, I would give her loads of tiny presents to open with her big sisters (cos when you're three it's all about the paper and the surprise ) and her proper presents on Xmas Day when the rest of the family is around to see her joy.

If Xmas day itself is just you, DH and DD, then if it were me I would do the whole thing with the step DCs and get it over with.

Due to extended families and various European traditions, 'my' Christmas, (both growing up and to this day) and that of the children around me has always been here, there and everywhere. The only time we all come unstuck is when an adult chooses to dig their heels in about wanting DC to think all gifts come from Santa (and therefore have to come at one set time). Then there is capacity for confusion.

Children are capable of understanding that while Santa brings presents for Christmas day (or Eve, in my world) some gifts are from friends, some gifts are from family and these gifts can turn up at various times. I never questioned this as a child. I find it irksome when adults try to insist ALL gifts have to come from Santa at a certain time for their DCs looking at you, toxic SIL

haha Carabos I just laughed out loud and your strikethrough comment and is probably the best idea I've heard!!!

fuzzpig you're right I think I am overthinking it. Thank you for your experiences its good to hear that growing up with 2 Christmasses shouldn't be too confusing! I guess I'll just see how we get on this year and make it up as we go along!?

I find it irksome when adults try to insist ALL gifts have to come from Santa at a certain time for their DCs

Agreed, it's very annoying and quite stupid.

Father Christmas brings stockings in my family, but all other gifts are from mum, dad, granny, friends etc.

tell her its a 'pretend christmas' as they are away for the real one. maybe a present from DSD's and some treats but tell her Father Christmas comes on real christmas. DSD's presents presumably are from you and DP? do they do stockings and piles of stuff or just a few? guehe full Monty as she won't understand that FC comes to them early.cky if its tss it's tri

I would use 'extra' rather than 'pretend'

Could you switch the weekend so it's the weekend after Xmas?

I would say that it is an extra or practice christmas.

Take your step children shopping for a present for your dd, help your dd make something for the step children.

I think it is really important for children to learn about giving at christmas, I really think it is a bad idea for all the presents to come from santa, children should understand that their mum, dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles siblings have thought about them and children should be encouraged to make gifts to give in return.

Well, surely the DSDs will only be opening their presents from you on the 20th, and then your dd can perhaps open her present(s) from them. Explain that although it's not Christmas yet, it's nice to open presents with the people giving them to you if you can, so that's why you are each opening those presents on that day. I don't see why there need be any confusion with Father Christmas - surely he still comes on Christmas Eve?

'Write a letter' to Santa requesting special compensation for extenuating circumstances and have Christmas on 20th (with Santa coming early especually for your DC) Can't see the point in doing it twice if you don't have to

Father Christmas brings 1 gift and the rest are from who ever bought them.

If the teenagers are with their mother then Father Christmas will deliver that gift there.