To not accept this money from the church?

[OHforDUCKScake]

Ive just started taking my 2 year old to a church play group. Its brilliant, accomdating to his needs and generally absolutely lovely.

It has a seperate room for buggies. A couple of weeks ago I left my bag in there two with two £10 notes in my wallet in the bag which aid withdrawn minutes before play group to get lunch after play group. Left that morning opened wallet in the supermarket and the notes have gone.

I knew someone nicked it but I left my bag in a room with a bunch of buggies, I should have expected it.

I stupidly didnt say anything to the leaders. I should have done. But Id only just stated, they had to make some ammendments to their group so my son could attend, some of which one or two of the mums didnt like and the last thing I wanted to do is tell them someone was robbing from me.

But today I went and they handed out a note, someone had £15 stolen from them last week so I told them about the £20 that was taken from my purse.

Later they told me the church would give me back the money which really shocked me and I instantly said no. But they were insistant. Said the other woman left her bag in the same room and they gave her the money back.

I cant really accept it though can I? For many reasons.

The day I left my bag I looked at it and thought is it ok here? And I thought yes of course it is. Its a church group! Wrong. That was my bad decision, not the church.

If I had told them what happened to me, the woman never would have left her bag in there and got her money stolen. So instead of the church feeling like they owe £20, its now £35 all because I didnt tell them.

And lastly, its a church! They shouldnt forfit the money just because someone who attends is presumably desperate for money in the lead up for Christmas.

So the rig thing to do is just refuse the money isnt it? They were insistant but i can insist harder.

WWYD?

I think you made a good choice, put some back in the pot if you can afford it.

It's sad that someone who goes to that group will have taken your money, but some people are just struggling so much they don't think about the knock on effect on others. (If they church has a hardship fund, it might be worth asking them to put leaflets out about it at the group, much better to take money from people who have chosen to give it than to steal from someone who might be in need themselves)

OP if its anything like my DM's Church they probably already knew who has been on the thieve. I would accept it. Then like a PP suggested. £10 for yourself and donate the other £10 into their collection or donate it to their creche/Sunday school? You sound lovely by the way

Just read my post back. I don't mean it to sound like DMs Church is full of thieves Just that they have their eyes and ears about when people don't realise.

You have to do what you are comfy with OP. I recently asked my DDs gymnastics teacher for an extension on the fees we owe and she immediately offered to waive them! I was embarrassed...and said no...I must pay.

She was embarrassed then too....but I could not attend without paying! I know some people would accept....but I can't.

If you are really short of money you should keep most of the money and give them a small donation every month. The church wasn't giving you charity but I am sure they would hate to think of you going short when this money is easily available. I'm not saying churches are all rich but £20 would be within their budget, if it doesn't go to you it will be spent on buying biscuits or coffee for the parents. I expect they gave it back to you because they were at someone stealing inside the church and didn't want you or anyone to lose out when attending their playgroup. But if you do want to return most of the money do it over a few months so you can easily afford it.

I think you have made the perfect decision

I am married to a vicar. Please don't give any of it back. They wouldn't want or expect you to.

I don't often confess that.

Have to laugh at churches are not poor. Maybe the catholic church isn't but many other are.

I would still accept the money if offered

Sandfrog C of E and Catholic churches are not poor. But many smaller baptist , Pentecostal non denominational churches are. They may be in poor areas with only a hundred or so members.

Sandfrog C of E and Catholic churches are not poor

Some of the individual churches are unable to afford things they need, such as repairs and even vicars salaries. The church does have a lot of property but these are investments in order to help pay a proportion of the upkeep of all the various churches, including many historic listed buildings. Individual churches must find the rest for themselves, e.g. "save the church roof" campaigns and so on.

Some C of E parishes are very poor!

You can read this recent article about the redistribution model and how there is less to go round in many areas.

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/belief/2013/nov/15/writing-wall-church-england-inner-city

It costs about £60,000 a year to have a priest in a parish and then all the buildings need to be maintained, utilities and staff paid, etc.

I am not saying that the OP should donate the £20 back. but I think it is very wrong to assume churches are swimming in money.