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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think these party guests were just awful?

17 replies

PrincessTeacake · 26/11/2013 10:47

I may B a tad U because I take birthdays very seriously and I think the thought that goes into gift giving really shows how much you care for a person. I accept that other people don't hold such high standards. Anyway here goes.

Friend K is celebrating her birthday on the same day as a big event all her friends are attending. The plan was to leave the event to go for dinner and return to it for drinks after. I'm a casual friend of K's, I would know her girlfriend better. In lieu of a present I offer to make her a cake.

At this party is L, an ex friend of mine and the crowd she now hangs with. We have a civility protocol when we're around each other in the company bof mutual friends so no biggie. All of this crowd b including K are artists selling work atbthe event.

Dinners nice and all, then things start bgetting weird. For one thing almost everyone starts scribbling on the paper placemats the restaurant has at the table. Then they start insulting the customers they've had during the day as well as a previous event they blame for being unable to sell any art. The bitterness of it was very unpleasant.

Not one of them had so much as a card forbK. They folded up the paper placemats with their doodles and multiple food stains and gave them to her as a card. They all had a lot of spare time and access to art materials all day, if they'd wanted to draw a card it would have been easy enough for them. I was working full days plus night shifts and I still b managed to bring something.

After the meal, everyone paid their own bill but there was no mention bof chippi by in and paying for Ks, so I paid for hers. I have never been to a birthday meal, let alone a milestone birthday, where the bday girl has paid for her own dinner.

What do you think? Am I holding people up to an unreasonable standard?

OP posts:
LeaveTheBastid · 26/11/2013 10:51

Absolutely shocking. Rude, right bastards.

LeaveTheBastid · 26/11/2013 10:51

*tight

spindlyspindler · 26/11/2013 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Brittabot · 26/11/2013 11:10

Did K mind? If not then YABU to attend a gathering and be so critical.

It was nice of you to pay for the meal but not necessary considering you're not close friends.

To be honest I'm not sure why it's bothered you, I don't think I'd have noticed most of the stuff you've commented on.

DeWe · 26/11/2013 11:16

I would love a "pile of paper placemats" with artists own drawings on them. It would really remind me of them and feel much more personal. Sort of thing that would make me smile upon seeing the pile in my cupboard in years to come.

maras2 · 26/11/2013 11:25

Sounds like the wankers DH was at art college with in the 60's.No manners and up their own arses.All were Andy Warhol wannabes.DH improved though so I'm still married to him.

OTheHugeManatee · 26/11/2013 11:31

Quite a few artists (especially the kind that don't seem to manage to sell much work) have fantasies about being 'above' ordinary courtesies and social codes. YANBU to be irritated by them.

Shellywelly1973 · 26/11/2013 11:35

Yanbu...very rude people!

SoupDragon · 26/11/2013 11:35

I'm not seeing the problem really.

SoupDragon · 26/11/2013 11:36

I like the idea of the placemat cards - given all of them did it perhaps it is tradition amongst them?
Everyone bitches about work, especially where there is common ground.
Maybe they don't pay for the birthday person in their group.

HowlingTrap · 26/11/2013 11:40

I can relate OP, I like making a fuss of people's birthdays, plus I think its basic manners to show up with at least a card.

Although I will get my arse chewed for Implying its a Class Ishoo' I have seen correlations. I am/was raised very working class, you went to a party you took a card and present as a must, I would feel very embarassed to turn up at a party empty handed.
I once went to a birthday house party with noice , very MC people, I was the only one to bring a card out of like 30 Shock and at my wedding an all day guest didn't even get us a card! again very noice, MC.
I'm gonna hide now.

DuckToWater · 26/11/2013 11:45

YANBU, OP.

For some reason I find their "artistan napkins" ruder than not bothering to bring a card at all. An afterthought.

TheHeadlessLadyofCannock · 26/11/2013 12:01

I'd quite like some spontaneously drawn 'cards' from arty friends, although I might be a bit Hmm if they were really food-stained. And I might secretly think that I'd have preferred a card made with care and no food stains before the event Smile

I think not paying for the birthday person's dinner is outrageous though.

TheGreatWizardQuiQuaeQuod · 26/11/2013 12:06

Did K seem bothered?

Maybe this is just how they all are.

Wouldn't suit me, but then I'm not their friend [grin K is. You say you don't really know her, so how do you know this was even a problem to her?

I mean, they sound not much fun to be with Grin . slagging off customers, being bitter, but perhaps that's just who they are.

You feel the way you feel, that's not in itself unreasonable, but it wasn't your birthday, it was Ks, perhaps she doesn't share your view that birthdays are a huge deal?

StickyProblem · 26/11/2013 13:54

They sound like classic art school twats. Art schools produce a certain type of twat [disclaimer: not all art school people are twats]. Probably when they were scribbling it got quite competitive too - it was for their own egos, not K's benefit. Avoid in future OP!

StealthPolarBear · 26/11/2013 13:57

Is this a reference to something I dont get?

PrincessTeacake · 26/11/2013 15:27

I think it bothers me because K's girlfriend emphasised to me that this birthday was supposed to be special. Apparently she's never celebrated a birthday before and as this was a milestone bday I figured it was as good a time as any to go the extra mile, and her supposed good friends didn't even make the first mile.

And yes, StickyProblem, there was some competitive doodling going on. One girl started idly doodling while waiting for the food and they all started, and got more elaborate as the meal went on. I've seen L do this before at least, and I have first hand experience of her making someone's celebration all about her and her art. It's just one reason we're not friends anymore.

OP posts:
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