Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask the DC to pay for 20% of Christmas gifts that they give to others?

20 replies

jennifersofia · 25/11/2013 13:36

We pay 80%, they pay 20% from their own money for gifts that they give to grandparents, us and each other. They also have many opportunities to do jobs around the house to earn some money.
We wanted them to get to grips with budgeting and saving, and also feel that with gifts it means more when there has been real thought and a little bit of sacrifice.

OP posts:
WipsGlitter · 25/11/2013 13:37

How old are they?

SashaOfSiberia · 25/11/2013 13:39

How old are they and how much are you paying them?

Example being, if they need to pay 20% of a £50 gift, how long would it take them to earn this?

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 25/11/2013 13:46

I think that is more than fair - if they are teenagers.
When I was growing up I had to pay for everything I chose to gift with my pocket money(be it to my own friends or family members). If I wanted to buy something out of my budget I either had to save for longer or do extra jobs around the house. It taught me to live within my means, and that I needed to work to get things beyond my reach as it were.
So I think it is more than generous of you to sub them by 80%.

Original poster
jennifersofia · 25/11/2013 13:47

12,11, and 5. There is a basic price limit on the total amount eg- I won't pay 80 % of a £50 gift for a sibling because I can't afford it, but I will pay 80 % of a £20 gift. Jobs at home are usually 50p - £2 depending on job.
Little one either makes gifts or buys something small like a chocolate bar etc

OP posts:
mrsmalcolmreynolds · 25/11/2013 14:04

I think that's fine for 10 and 11, perhaps a bit advanced for 5. Who chooses the presents?

Personally I would just say it's up to them to choose and fund presents and not bother with all this for the older two. At that sort of age I remember saving up some of my pocket money and buying quite modest presents for everyone (eg. nice bar of soap for granny). I think it's a bit odd for kids that age to be giving £20 presents tbh.

For the 5yo perhaps give them a small additional budget - enough to get people a chocolate bar or similar?

Edendance · 25/11/2013 15:15

Oh I don't know, I think it's a bit much tbh. How much money do they have the oppourtunity to earn?

I think them helping to choose the present at that age, should be enough, that way they get the joy of giving without potential resentment that they may get if their maturity isn't up to it. They've got a long time to pay for things all through adulthood, it doesn't have to start just yet.

BlueCushion · 25/11/2013 15:19

I think that's incredibly tight of you. Especially for the 5yo. Give them a fiver each and they can choose what they want to give as a gift. GP etc don't care how much is spent and it will mean more if they have chosen it themselves.

mrsjay · 25/11/2013 15:21

why dont they just buy cheaper gifts my dds just give yoken gifts to each other how do you expect a 5yr old to find the money it is a bit mean imo

mrsjay · 25/11/2013 15:22

token* obviously and really giving to grandparents should be token from children too they are not grown ups and it isn't a business transaction

mrsjay · 25/11/2013 15:23

Token* obviously i do think they can contribute out of their own money though but it all seems to regimented and worked out to the last penny

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 25/11/2013 15:30

I dunno, I think they are a bit young at the moment to be worrying about paying for christmas presents, wait until they are older, have little jobs of their own and then they can just sort presents out themselves rather than be presented with a bill from you.

All seems a bit mercenary to me, if DS was to buy me a present I would far rather it was something he picked out himself rather than me buy myself some perfume and then ask him to contribute towards it......not really the spirit of Christmas at all.

MrsMoon76 · 25/11/2013 15:38

As kids we bought our own presents for each other and our parents - I was 6 when I started by buying my dad a 4 colour bic pen and my mother some cheap and nasty earrings that I had used my pocket money for. They didn't have a clue (I got my aunt to take me to the shop). The gifts were rubbish but I was delighted and over the years my two younger brothers got involved. We pooled our money to get more expensive tat gifts as we got older. The parents were never asked or expected to contribute - just to pretend to me thrilled with whatever they were given.

formerbabe · 25/11/2013 15:55

They are too young IMO....I also wouldn't expect children so young to give gifts for relatives that are anything more than a token gift. I would give a larger gift from all of us as a family.

Theas18 · 25/11/2013 15:58

Gawd what a strange set up some families have!

In our family the parents buy a gift for each relative from everyone, eg signed from " theas18 mr theas18, DD1 DS and dd2).

If they want to give a separate gift they make it- DD2 especially has made little pictures/biscuits etc. Nothing like a magenta fairy from a 6yr old on Xmas morning! (beaten only by the cooperative year of the hama bead tree decorations!)

I reckon they can give their own bought presents when they are earning.

Mind you DD1s best mate had to spend her pocket money and even a set amount of it on prescribed presents for the relatives and this struck me as odd too....

formerbabe · 25/11/2013 16:03

Personally I would prefer my kids to help round the house for no financial reward, and I would buy presents on their behalf or give them a fiver to buy a gift.

TheApprentice · 25/11/2013 16:14

I don't think this is odd at all. As children my brothers and I had to save half of our pocket money (rather than spend it all on sweets) so that we could afford to buy each other small gifts. My dcs are 5 and 6. they are given pocket money each week. This year they are going to use some of their savings to buy each other a small gift (max £6) which they will choose themselves. They are excited about this! We will fund presents for them to give to Mum and Dad, and grandparents will probably have home made gifts.

I think its really important for children to realise the value of money. Also its nice to be able to spend money on people that you love, surely?

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 25/11/2013 16:26

I think they are too young, maybe make them do a token gesture of a pound or two. Get them to write cards and help choose and wrap.

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 25/11/2013 16:26

I think they are too young, maybe make them do a token gesture of a pound or two. Get them to write cards and help choose and wrap.

Orangeanddemons · 25/11/2013 17:00

I get mine to make biscuits. I don't charge them anything for the ingredients

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 25/11/2013 17:47

DS1 is nearly 7 and I will probably do the same as last year, which is take him to the pound shop with his saved up pocket money, where he can buy his relatives presents without interference from me. DS2 is 3 and he will make a nice Xmas picture/decoration/painted stone or something.

For his brother's birthday DS1 used a gift card to buy a book for DS2 as he had a rather generous £25 on it, and he spent the rest on himself.

But YANBU if you want your relatives to have a worthwhile present, rather than cheap tat - I don't see anything wrong with paying a % if that's the way you want to do it. Not so much for the 5 year old though.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page