aibu to expect a happy birthday text off my best friend?

[PublicEnemyNumeroUno]

Looks like my "best friend" has forgotten my birthday again

For her 30th birthday I spent over a grand because she wanted to go to New York but didn't want to go alone so I went with her which cost me a lot of money

Yet for my birthday I don't even get a happy birthday text??

I'm pissed off to be honest

You were forced to spend over a grand because she didn't want to go to New York alone or.. You spent over a grand because you wanted to go to New York? If I was your friend I wouldn't enjoy being resented either tbh

I nearly did this the other day to my friend.

I was writing it out and pressed save instead of send.

It was evening before i noticed. So maybe something like this has happened ...

It's only lunch time!
Plus you didn't have to go to New York I'm guessing you wanted to and enjoyed yourself....

No I can see where you're coming from.

My best friend couldn't make the meal out for my birthday. Fine. But she never even sent me one text on the day and yes it really stung.

Have you made plans were her to do anything for your bday?

No I don't resent going to New York, at all, but I wouldn't have gone that time of year, I was heavily pregnant, but what I'm saying is, to be honest I don't even know how to word it, I feel pissed off that she hasnt even remembered my birthday, but yet I never forget hers

No, no plans with her, but she would usually send a happy birthday text in the morning. This is the second time she's forgot my birthday

Would annoy me too OP. It was my birthday the other day and I admit I'm a bit annoyed with my friends that didn't text.

The majority of mine didn't bother either, it was my fucking 40th as well.

I'm just shaming them all by sending very sweet happy birthday messages promptly when appropriate.
Fuckers.

Aside from the ny thing, yanbu to be sad/upset/put out that you've not had a message. Though I'd give her the rest of the day, she may want to call & just not had time yet.

Happy Birthday

I really don't get this. Perhaps it's a bloke thing, but I think not.

I don't care (and I really do mean that I don't care) whether anyone remembers my birthday or not. Or my anniversary, or sends me a card at christmas.

I think the "value" of a spontaneous message, call, or visit or year-round friendship is far higher than a facebook prompted text message on an arbitrary date.

I would say you're over-reacting. Not everybody sends birthday texts (or those old fashioned things, cards). In fact, my son didnt send me any birthday messages this year (he's 22). I choose not to let that upset me.

Yes OP in fairness, one of my friends texted very apologetically at about 10.30 at night, she had remembered in the morning, said 'I'll text/email her in a minute' and then went back out of her head til that night! So there's hope yet

blokes the reason it annoys me is that I have friends who'd get pissed off with me if I didn't text them on their birthdays but yet they can't be arsed to remember mine.

I don't get annoyed with the ones who also wouldn't expect em to remember theirs.

not everybody sends birthday texts

Well she usually does.

NuggetofPurestGreen I don't get annoyed with the ones who also wouldn't expect em to remember theirs.

I suppose that's fair enough. Hard to keep track of though.

I suspect that I've created my share of very minor upset over the years then although being a bloke I probably get away with it

No I have no trouble keeping track of serial offenders

Maybe she is busy, like at work?
Try waiting until about midnight and then kick up a fuss

Happy Birthday btw

If your birthday is today, the YABVU. It's only lunchtime, FFS.

However, if it was yesterday/saturday blah blah, then YANBU. A text should not be too much to remember.

Well I don't think I'd get annoyed about no birthday text on its own, it would be in the context of the whole relationship.
The NY thing makes it sound rather one-sided in that you put in more effort/care.
That would annoy me and I would relegate from best friend status.
I have a friend like this, I choose to only put myself out on my terms. Take back the power!!!!

My BF did this last year but as a previous poster said she'd written it in the morning and didn't see it hadn't sent til the evening. She was mortified.

YANBU.

I hate that we can be so insignificant to our so called best friends that they can't possibly spare 20 seconds to send a text on our birthdays.

I actually hate that this is all some of my own family manage, if they even remember. I always remember their birthdays and send cards, but I rarely get the same in return. Some people are considerate, some are self absorbed.

I very quickly get fed up of the latter type.

To be honest, i think its bad form to forget your "best" friends birthday. And i will be telling her that aswell

I don't expect anyone non-family to remember my birthday, and don't consistently send my friends happy birthday messages.

Although thank you, you reminded me that I meant to ask a friend how an important event had gone, so I've emailed her.

My best mate always forgets. I send her a text saying

'Happy Birthday!

Oh no, that's me'

She took it in good spirits and we laugh about it loads. She got me back a few years later when I forgot hers (which is VERY unlike me)

It annoys me when she remembers now because it's funny - we try and get in there first :D

I dont expect it from non family members either, but ad i lived with her for a few years, she came to all my pregnancy scans etc with me then i count her as family.