To think it's Bah Humbug to not send cards and say you're giving card money to charity

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How much does a box of cards cost - £5? I suggest sacrificing a bottle of wine and giving wine money to charity then ..

Music is already central to African culture. It is a way of life. I have family who live and work for charities in Africa.

YABU

I can't be arsed to do Christmas cards. However, I don't say its because I am giving money to charity, I tell it like it is - that I don't see the point in them - have never slavishly followed other people's expectations and have a mind of my own.....I will make the occasional exception and send a card where I think it will bring real pleasure to someone - e.g. an elderly relative living some distance away

all the more reason to support it I would have thought!

My in laws compete with each other as to how much money they can spend at Christmas. It feels very wrong.

I agree with birdsgottafly. I dislike Christmas cards for the same reason I dislike Christmas crackers.

I hate sending cards and tbh I hate recieving them too because they just look like untidy clutter.

I jate DH family who will send 1 card to DH and I from themselves, 1 card to to DH and I from the kids, 1 Card to ds1 from themselves and 1 from the kids and 1 card to ds2 from themselves and 1 from the kids.

that's six cards from one family, SIX! Tis madness.

I enjoy sending cards (to relations and friends that I don't see regularly) - I look forward to the two or three evenings I set aside for writing cards (with carols playing in the background ) and I love receiving cards & news from friends I don't see that often.

I don't bother with FB/social media so I still think it is a lovely old fashioned way of keeping in touch with people.

But like Elle says, it is perfectly possible to send cards and give money (and time) to charity, I loathe the 'goody two shoes' aspect of people making a big deal about it when in truth it's probably because they can't really be bothered to send cards - which is fine, but just be honest about it .

do people under the age of 60 still send Christmas cards? Excluding those who live far away from family? Even then...is your email down?

Yes, and I still use a proper fountain pen.

What's wrong with being "Bah humbug"? Is it better to wilfully capitulate to the commercialist crap that is posting cards to people?

I can't be arsed sending cards to anyone other than family we don't see often which is just my grandad really. I even post on Facebook that we're not doing cards so people don't feel obliged to bother sending us one.

Let's just all stop sending the bloody things.

It always feels a bit smug and washing your clean linen in public to me.

"I am so kind and generous that I am giving money to charity rather than giving you a card."
Surely it would be better to ask people to donate the money they would have spent on your card?
It's no sacrifice on the giver's part; it's much easier to give the money than write out however many cards and post them. So the giver wins all ways really, even assuming they do give all the money, including stamps that they are saving-which I bet a lot of the time they don't.

I know a work locally that put up a notice along the lines of "We'd like to raise money for X charity in memory of our collegue. So if you would like to put £5 in the pot below instead of buying Christmas cards and sign the big card instead. 40+ people signed... £15 (and a few pennies) in the box.

If you wish to be virtuous and actually raise money for a charity, then I suggest you ask people to give money to the charity in lue of presents. That is your presents receive, not the ones you give. I'll let you feel warm and fluffy over that.

I'm probably a bit biased because I know some lonely people for whom that Christmas card means a lot to. It means they have been remembered with a thought of friendship, and that card displayed in their home gives them a little comfort and sometimes the courage to approach the giver and asking for help/acknowledging that they are lonely.

Ah now I do make exception for cards with news. Not a printed round robin but a personal missive can be lovely when it's from someone you rarely get to see.

When it's from your next door neighbour and doesn't even have your name on it that's utterly pointless.

DeWe except this way you know the money will actually go to charity, rather than someone simply saying "oh ok" and not giving it.

Do people really set such store by cards? Really odd.

I only send cards to elderly relatives who I know genuinely love receiving them. I don't bother with anyone else.

But I don't have anything against them, they look cheery. Some people really need to lighten up. Also I bloody love Christmas crackers and 'yah boo' to anyone who disses them.

Oh thank goodness Ragwort , I was getting so depressed reading this thread! Writing cards while listening to carols and maybe eating a mince pie or two is the start of Christmas. I love receiving them, love sending them (with a proper message), love having them around the house; and will never regard an emailed version as remotely equivalent. OP, YAdefinitelyNBU.

"Do people really set such store by cards"

It can be a double edged sword, we have people give them to us, at work (SS) because they have no-one else to give them to and likewise don't have anyone to give them, them back (to those I do give).

For people with no family or friends (especially care leavers, who have spent their lives surrounded by people), Christmas signify's their lack of a "normal life", that is why the suicide rate is highest at Christmas.

People don't think of places such as teenage hostels, when donating, for those teens who haven't been through the care system and don't get the additional benefits, Christmas is a very depressing time, they get £55 a week to live on, and that's it, with no one to help with the cost of a Winter coat etc.

Minty and Ragwort - no, there's a whole three of us! Don't despair!

FB is good for raising awareness about coat collection points etc, the same people posting may be the ones who come over as sanctimonious, but if it gives one more person something to keep them warm and well, it's no great hardship for those reading it, even if they are thinking the poster is trying to blow their own trumpet.

Yes I wasn't talking about lonely people. I meant "card counters" who tot up their totals.

Birds - you make a very good point; I used to deliver meals on wheels (sorry if I am sounding sanctimonious ) and one of my old people used to put the same cards up each year - he only had 7 or 8 . When I gave him a card & small gift from my family he was almost in tears; no one sent him a Christmas card.

I now volunteer in a food bank and we are giving out packs of cards so that people on really low incomes will be able to give cards to their friends and family.

YABU - I stopped doing cards the year my mum died and donated money to the hospice who cared for her instead.

Yeah, I could just sacrifice a bottle of wine and still do the cards but to be honest, I ain't got the heart for it.

MrsDeVere -

That's a lovely idea. You don't think of cards going into food banks.

'one of my old people used to put the same cards up each year - he only had 7 or 8 sad. When I gave him a card & small gift from my family he was almost in tears; no one sent him a Christmas card.'

I must be emotional this morning, but that has made me well up. Poor man.

I think for elderly people not getting a card means you have forgotten them. It may also be the only contact that some family members actually make with aunts/uncles/grandparents etc They may also like to donate to their own charity and may not choose the same charity you would to donate to.

I think if your not going to send a card then you should make a phone call to those who may not be likeminded....so in the end it will cost you more than if you sent the card

Oh that is sad about the old people with nobody to give one to or receive one from :(