People at work talking in their language.

[SirTrumpetBum]

Where I work I am the only English person. All the other girls are from Poland. We get along pretty well and have a laugh where we can but I am really struggling with them all talking in polish. They frequently stand together and talk in polish. Quite often I feel that they are possibly talking about me and I also feel left out. I try to brush it off and make a joke about it but it grates me. They all speak very good English so its not a case that they are trying to communicate something that they couldn't do in English and need to speak polish to do so, its so they can chat and gossip.
I have made some attempts to learn phrases and words so I can join in but I have made very little progress in terms of learning the language.

I don't know how to tackle it. I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable but I feel very awkward when they do it, almost like I am interrupting a private conversation even though I don't have a clue what they are saying. Maybe I'm being a little touchy....I don't know.

I recently had experience of this. I was on placement and two of the staff were talking in their language in front of me. I ignored it and carried on with what I was doing. Then another member of staff came in and they felt compelled to explain to both of us what they were talking about.

I then went on break and three of the people from this country were in the staff room. All well and good, but they totally exluded me. I felt awful. BUT they were on their break, so I didn't feel I could complain.

I did get told that they are not allowed to talk among themselves while working though. There are very clear policies on that.

Yabu,if you want conversation, initiate it! I wouldn't dream of expecting others to speak their second language at work just to have a chat- it would be completely different if it impedes your ability to do your job. Fwiw I discipline my staff for standing around and chatting, regardless of language!

I have to admit i'm really surprised that most people think its ok to speak in a different language in the work place. I think it is only right to speak in the language of the country you are working in during working working hours. if you are working with others then you are part of a team, it is not right to exclude someone from the conversation.

Dh speaks 5 languages, English is his third. He has many colleagues that all speak his first and second language, none of them would ever dream of talking in any language in the work place other than English, with the exception of it benefiting a patient or family and odd bits of translation for newer staff who need a hand with regional language.

People speaking in their own language and not giving a shit if they exclude others?

Sounds like Brits the world over.

My boss is Cypriot, one colleague is Syrian and my other colleague and I are English.
My English colleague and I speak English to each other, boss and Syrian colleague speak Greek to each other though they are both fluent in English.
I don't give it a second thought and I'm sure they don't when we speak English.

I don't think you are being unreasonable OP. I have experienced this, but on a very small scale, and even then I felt odd and excluded. If I had to be working alongside people who talked to each other in another language all day long and I couldn't understand them or join in, I would have to leave or complain to a manager. It it very rude I think.
For those that say it is difficult for them to speak in a second language all day long, that is ridiculous. What if there was only one polish person there, wouldn't they have to speak english then? Or would they just stay quiet as it's too much of an affort? Also the OP says that they do speak very good english.
I work in a very multicultural department and a lot of people for whom english in a second language. We all speak in english about work things and they manage just fine. I have no problem with them speaking other languages to have social conversation or during break/lunch times.
My first language is also not English and if I had a collegue who spoke the same first language as me I wouldn't dream of talking in that language in a work environment.

I live and work in Wales, and it WOULD NEVER OCCUR TO ME to think that it was rude for colleagues to converse in Welsh while I was in the room. I'm still only a learner, but if they're not talking to me, why shouldn't they use their own mother tongue? You come across as somewhat self-centred, tbh...

Self centred, really? I thought she sounded lonely. I used to sit in a bank of four desks at work with two Swedes. They worked together, I worked on something seperate. They always spoke to each other in English, I didn't ask, they said they thought it rude to do other than that.

We've lived in a couple of countries where English was not the native language. Noone ever expected the native English speakers to speak anything other than English, and for the most part, they didn't at all when talking together or with the locals. Those who tried to speak the local languages were often treated with uncomprehending shock at first (even if what they said was pronounced correctly) so it must be pretty rare. Although once the shock was gotten over, it was generally appreciated. Given that, I do think it's unfair to get hoity-toity about foreign workers speaking their own language amongst themselves.

I think its quite rude for any group of people to leave ONE person out by all speaking in their own language.

Its just bad manners.

Elfont: So if the situation were reversed and you were in Hong Kong or Dubai on an expat job, would you expect that all of you should break out into fluent Cantonese/Arabic to accommodate the one local on your team?

YANBU

It is rather impolite but I doubt it is deliberate: I lived in France for a long time and became fluent in French, but it was still an unthinking and natural inclination to switch to English when speaking to other Brits. Sometimes, I would catch myself yabbering on in English while some poor French person in the group was standing by cluelessly, and I would then switch back to French and hope that whoever I was talking with would have the courtesy to do the same. Unfortunately, this didn't always happen!

I understand why it makes you uncomfortable, but it probably is nothing personal against you.

I can understand why you're finding this upsetting. It feels like you're excluded and you can't join in.

I work in the Netherlands. I speak mostly English at work with my colleagues (who also teach bilingual and International students). I speak English with all my students. With some members of staff I speak Dutch, though the first few years I was learning and it was hard, especially in social situations where you always feel like there's a joke you don't get or aren't included in.

But I also have colleagues who speak French to each other, German, Arabic, Spanish, none of which I speak.

However, that's different to what you're describing since it's just you and a group of people speaking another language all the time. That's tough.

Great opportunity to learn Polish. The best way is to be immersed in a language & here you have such a situation. Ask the Polish speakers to help you and include you in their language.

the difference though is that English is an internationally recognised language, polish isn't. So the chances of someone being able to understand English are far greater than the chances of an English person being able to understand polish.

I get the inclination too speak one's own first language when in a group of others who speak the same language, however I think that to exclude one individual only is rude - especially if it is in a place of work.

I am bilingual - I speak both English and Afrikaans. (I am English but grew up In SA), and a couple of friends of mine on fb have a prepencity (sp? to reply to my status updates in Afrikaans even when I write them in English, I live in England, and there are obviously people on my friend list who don't speak Afrikaans. I think that is bloody rude and it infuriates me, and I have a tendency to reply in English with a translation of what they have said - some of them still don't get the message!

Learn Polish now.

But don't tell them about it.

I said before that I have been trying to learn polish but it is a very difficult language. I know some of the basics and can construct a few sentences, recognise words. That's actually quite a big deal for me. I have always struggled learning other languages and have made quite a bit of effort to pick things up. They have taught me most of what I have learnt. But I'm sure you will understand it takes a lot of time to learn a new language.
mrspremise I don't have an issue with them speaking their own language, my issue is that sometimes it can be extremely isolating. I have to interrupt them at times to ask work related questions and I always feel very awkward. I don't know if they are talking about something serious and when is an appropriate time to interject. As for being self centred I think that's a bit personal and nasty, all I'm asking for is to be included in conversations.

Like I said before I cant really see a resolution to this with out causing an atmosphere so I think I'm going to find another job and hand in my notice.

Of course it's normal to want to speak your first and native language.

But it's rude to do it when you're at work in a country that has a different language. They should save their own language for when they are on their own and it won't exclude anyone.

YANBU
Mrspremise - the people you mention who speak Welsh are doing so in Wales.
Bigbrick - how can it be right that to hold a job down in England you have to learn Polish even if you don't want to.
If it is necessary then it should have been explained that it is a requirement for the job.

I work with a lot of Polish blokes and when they're all talking in their own language, every now and then I'll shout, "HEY, DON'T TALK ABOUT ME LIKE THAT!!" If one of them starts blushing, I know they were.

(they usually just tell me to piss off though)

Yanbu

Keep trying to learn polish and if there is a big discussion happening and youre feeling left out maybe quietly ask one girl what they are talking about so you can get a idea of the conversation. I wouldn't bring it up with managers.