To feel a bit sad at ds stopping breastfeeding?

[okthen]

DS turned one a couple of weeks ago.

He was such a boob monster for months, I thought it was going to have a long hard task on my hands to wean him off breastfeeding.

Then, gradually, he lost interest, until eventually starting to refuse his last remaining feed (bedtime) point blank around a week ago. I kept offering at bedtime in case it was down to teething or something. But I finally took the hint, and tonight put him down without offering. He went to sleep fine.

So that is that

I didn't want to extend breastfeeding, was keen to stop around age one etc. so basically everything has happened as I hoped!

But... But now it has ended, I feel really wistful, especially as I can't even remember when the last feed was or what it was like. I didn't treasure it. And if we stop at 2 kids (don't want to but might be sensible!) I may have given my last breastfeed ever!

I suspect I am being over-indulgent and a bit ridiculous. But still!

You're allowed to feel ambivalent about milestones that are "last". I'm on my last child too and am extra emotional compare to my first. This is it for me.

Santa - that wasn't particularly nice. It's pretty obvious from the post that at the forefront of the OP's mind is her child (he just self weaned - big hint there) but for some people when they know it is their last child, these milestones are bittersweet.

yanbu

DD weaned at 15 months. Somehow it was a mutual decision. If I had known it was the last feed I would have acknowledged it in some way.

I also missed the instant calming effect of feeding.

Well done on getting this far.

YANBU, I was sad when DD1 self weaned. I also cried when we moved her from her cot to a "big girl bed", though I'm blaming pregnancy hormones for that one

Wow Santa you have some issues about bf I see!

YANBU OP. It's a bittersweet time, but it's nice for them to stop under their own terms if possible. DS2 is in the process of stopping and we won't be having any more children so that will be it. I'm kind of glad in a way, but like you kind if wistful.

Fair enough Santa, I did post in AIBU after all.

Though I will say that, for me and I think others, breastfeeding and all kinds of other things do feel like more than their physiological sum of parts ie not just 'feeding your baby from your breasts'.

A woman giving birth is just pushing a human out of her vagina, for example. But it feels more significant emotionally .

Though I will say that, for me and I think others, breastfeeding and all kinds of other things do feel like more than their physiological sum of parts ie not just 'feeding your baby from your breasts'.

I completely agree OP.

Yanbu, I cried when ds ate food for the 1st time and he was still breastfeeding constantly. I'm dreading him weaning!

Yanbu. Like any other milestone that passes it brings all different emotions.

I do not like the term extended breastfeeding though. No mother extends the amount of time a child breastfeeds for. No one can force a child to breastfeed so that phrase just baffles me! You either wean early or you do natural term breastfeeding.

You did the latter and let your child breastfeed until it came to a natural end.

Yanbu, I am dreading my last bf with dd as I know know this will be my last ever. Well done op, ignore Santa.

Lambchops, I see what you mean. I used it as lazy shorthand for feeding past a year- no offence intended.

YANBU, I felt quite sad when DS stopped, and I wished I had known at the time of the final feed that it would be the very last, so I could cherish it - but of course I didn't know.

Totally natural to feel a bit that way.

Sitting here in tears now whilst feeding DS who is 6 months. I know I'm going to miss it so much when he stops. Hopefully that won't be for a while yet. Totally understand how you feel - it's a wonderful thing to share with your child.

ffs santa - you nasty piece of work

op - my 9 month old is starting to prefer ff to bf &'like you im upset :'( its such a magical time bfing but from the sounds of santa sad as it may be she has only ever ff.

sending hugs op but at least you can crack open a bottle of mulled wine now ;-)

Don't want to scare you, but my DS self weaned at 13 months after I fell pregnant. I didn't even know I was pregnant when he stopped! I also felt sad he'd stopped but I'm breastfeeding my 2 week dd right now .

YANBU. Your post is really touching. I think the hormones relating to BF prob add to the emotion of it all. I will be sad when DS wants to stop but will be proud to look back on our bf journey together too. Plus it is the only time he gives any type of cuddle!

Santa?!...

Oh, ignore Santa, bet he/she won't even feel slightly emotional when her children leave home and he/she looks at their empty room for the first time. Heart of stone I bet.

Santa isn't in the Christmas spirit obviously.

YANBU, it's sad when they stop feeding.

Read' The Last Time' it's a poem by Lucy Berry. It's not about breastfeeding but about all those other last times you don't realised have happened. Sorry I'm not clever enough to do a link!

okthen my GP explained that stopping breastfeeding can have a significant effect on your hormones. It can trigger a type of 'baby blues' feeling for a little while. While some posters think otherwise, I'd go with the opinion of the GP.

I'm not a person who cries much but I was very tearful when DS2 and DS3 stopped feeding. Not so much with DS1 but maybe being 5 months pregnant with DS2 had a hormone/psychological effect that prevented that.

I think it's fine to be a bit sad/tearful.

Wow Santa you have some issues about bf I see!

Erm, no I don't. Why do I sudden;y have issues just because I hold a different viewpoint?
Nothing wrong with breastfeeding at all.

Oh dear, you were just being nasty then Santa. What a shame.

Op well I think you are being a little unreasonable to be upset about it. You should be happy as you got what you wanted so easily you said yourself that you wanted to stop at one year.

I don't know much about bf but from what I've read in the bf forum here babies don't 'self wean' at one anyway so you might have been unknowingly weaning him anyway if he has had bottles etc and you've encouraged him to drop feeds. If he is only one and dropping feeds then he must have been on formula already.

You got what you wanted and not many bf mothers get that! Be happy!

(Fwiw i always personally disliked bf, ds never took bottles and I had to 'force' him to wean after he was 2 and still bf frequently despite me working and trying to ' gently'wean).

My eldest is 20 - I still think about BF and how lovely it was - best thing I ever did.
Yanbu

Thanks for lovely replies.

Pearls- he's never had formula or bottles of ebm. That's one reason I was slightly taken by surprise by him refusing the feed.

Fair enough though- I have been actively cutting down on feeds over the past few months (I can't remember saying in my OP that I was n't trying to wean him). So it is a bit daft for me to feel emosh about getting what I wanted all along. Probably it's more what it signifies (tiny baby no more) than the actual weaning, that makes me wistful.

Btw, he most definitely did wean himself off the final remaining nightly feed tho. When a baby turns his head away from the breast with his mouth clamped shut, and physically pushes you away til you put him in his cot, every night for around a week? That's self weaning. In my book, anyhow.

Even luckier then imo, as he was able to replace feeds with solids. Well done!