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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send this text?

31 replies

SantanaLopez · 24/11/2013 21:09

Per Facebook, my so called friends have been out for dinner tonight. I feel so hurt. I really want to text and tell them how disappointed I am.

BUT I was invited. I couldn't get a babysitter. But we all have kids, and we always always reschedule so the 5 of us are always there.

AIBU?

OP posts:
NorthernLurker · 24/11/2013 21:12

Yes you are being unreasonable and childish. Only text them if you never wan to go out with them again. This is a very busy time of year. You couldn't go but the others could - deal with it.

LittlePeaPod · 24/11/2013 21:13

YABU. It's not their fault you can't make it this time. It's unfair and very selfish to expect them to stay in because you can't go.

Original poster
SantanaLopez · 24/11/2013 21:13

But but I have rescheduled when others can't go! Why can't they do the same for me?

OP posts:
CaptainSweatPants · 24/11/2013 21:14

With 5 of you trying to reschedule you'd never meet up!
Invite them to yours for coffee & you'll feel better

TwoStepsBeyond · 24/11/2013 21:14

Trying to find a night when all 5 of you are free must be a nightmare.

I struggle to get 3 of us on synchronised nights off, especially being a LP myself, so it may be that it was the only time everyone else could make it. You can all set another date, but it's daft for everyone else to miss out because one person can't make it.

You were invited, don't make a fuss and fall out with them or next time you might not be!

HectorVector · 24/11/2013 21:14

YABU. You were invited, you couldn't go. Why should they cancel their evening?

LittlePeaPod · 24/11/2013 21:14

That was your choice. That last post really makes you sound extremely childish. Is this a joke /troll thread?

NorthernLurker · 24/11/2013 21:15

OP whine like that and they will never ask you again.

TheGreatWizardQuiQuaeQuod · 24/11/2013 21:16

They are your friends. You would be really stupid to send a text that would only succeed in ending a friendship.

You couldn't get a babysitter. It happens. For whatever reason, they couldn't or didn't want to reschedule. Maybe it was too short notice?

arrange something else. or have them round for coffee, anything. Just accept that there are times when, for whatever reason, one or other of you can't go to something.

BrianTheMole · 24/11/2013 21:16

Well if its the norm for you all to reschedule, and they didn't this time, then I can see why you feel a little hurt. But I wouldn't say anything about it.

SoldAtAuction · 24/11/2013 21:16

Wait, are you saying if you can't go, nobody should go?!?!Confused What if you ate busy for the next available to e too? Do they still have to stay home?

Poppylovescheese · 24/11/2013 21:16

YABU and sound very needy.

TheGreatWizardQuiQuaeQuod · 24/11/2013 21:17

Do they ask you to or do you offer?

Original poster
SantanaLopez · 24/11/2013 21:17

No I'm not a troll.

Alright, IABU. Thanks.

OP posts:
BrianTheMole · 24/11/2013 21:18

Oh I see the mn vipers are out in full force tonight Hmm

NachoAddict · 24/11/2013 21:19

Yes yabu, you were invited, its not their fault you couldn't go. Arrange something for when yo are free.

Original poster
SantanaLopez · 24/11/2013 21:19

Do they ask you to or do you offer?

To reschedule? It's a bit of both.

OP posts:
toffeesponge · 24/11/2013 21:23

I can see how you would feel upset, SL, when every other time all five of you couldn't make it the date was changed yet this time it wasn't. Don't text anything though.

OutragedFromLeeds · 24/11/2013 21:24

To only ever go out when all 5 of you can make it is madness, but if it's always been that way I can understand why you're upset. I don't think you should send an angry/upset text though. It's a change for the better, next time one of them can't get a babysitter, but you can you don't have to all miss out, it's a much better system.

OldBagWantsNewBag · 24/11/2013 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Casmama · 24/11/2013 21:25

This close to Christmas they probably thought it would be ages before they could arrange another date so went ahead on this occasion. Try not to be too hurt and don't send a text.

TheGreatWizardQuiQuaeQuod · 24/11/2013 21:25

Yes, to reschedule.

It's one of those things that happens. You're going to have to just let it go if you don't want to cause bad feeling. Perhaps in future, don't reschedule if one of them can't make it, just accept that not everyone can attend every event.

I am sure that it wasn't a mean action on their part but if you send that text - you will regret it. Far better to take time to calm down and remember that these really are your mates and there will be loads of nights out and it was just that you couldn't get a sitter. There was no rejection of you.

PLEEEEEEASE don't send that text. At least not tonight. If you still want to send it in a day or two, then it obviously is a huge deal to you, but I in all honesty think it would be really stupid to send it because it would only end up hurting you.

If this is part of a pattern of behaviour excluding you then that's different, but if this is the first time ever - let it go.

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Bowlersarm · 24/11/2013 21:35

Sorry but another YABU here too.

It's possibly getting too close to Christmas to reschedule now, people get busy and booked up.