smelly work colleague AIBU

[Mushypeasandchipstogo]

AIBU to simply just tell a new work colleague, who is actually superb at their job, that they have the worst BO that I have ever met? We work in a small room and I have to run outside every few minutes to gasp for breath! Help!

I think the best thing to do is to be honest. Something like what NoelOfLorst suggested. You just have to remember that it is better to be told than to be oblivious about it.

Unless they have a permanently blocked nose, I don't understand how people are unaware that they smell.

In hot weather I am paranoid and constantly check to see that I'm not suffering from sweat patches or BO.

BabyMummy - my brother didn't know until I told him. My DD didn't know until I told her. Some people just don't.

It's not that difficult to believe.

Maybe it's only a bad day or a bad week? How long have they worked there? If not long, give them a chance, perhaps their waging machine has broken down?

Washing machine

Thanks Modre those are wise words. Think that it will be me who has to say them as boss doesn't want to know.

I promise, it gets easier. They are mortified, more than you are because most of the time, they don't realise. Just bite the bullet and do it. then use

I have a day in my menstrual cycle where if I get hot I will stink. A few months back I got into a car confined space with DH and he was trying to surreptitiously sniff his own BO. 'It's me'. I said. He looked shocked as I don't usually stink. It's fairly new but I'm in my 40s and might have more of this coming up.

But I shower daily, change clothes daily and it's only occasionally. I've found a stronger acting deodorant for these days. If I do get into a lift with any of you on this day I do apologise.

YANBU with a sustained assault of BO though. I've had that colleague and that conversation.

I have NO sense of smell and I live in fear of being smelly! I do everything in my power to ensure that I'm not. However if I did smell I'd genuinely want to be told.

It's a very poorly chosen website name, it sounds horrible but I just had a quick look and I don't think it's a nastily worded email that gets sent, just something that tells them they smell and they might want to sort it out. It does the exact same thing that a work colleague needs to do without having the embarrassment of having to do it in person. I don't see the problem with that, it's not a malicious action.

This reminds of a very talented yet smelly young man I know. Just saw him at a family wedding, and going to greet him I got a whiff of stale sweat, old man jumper and god knows what else.

I looked at his wife and thought - "ugh, what does he smell like naked" Shudder

Modres approach is spot on. Its not unusual for people not to know if they smell or not. I have known quite a few smokers who reek of stale smoke, horse riders who smell of horse and cat/dog owners who whiff of their pets. You get immune to smell, I don't think it means that you are 'unclean'.

My DDs boyfriend is a stinker and it is because of a lack of washing. Most of the time I can avoid him, but the other week I was stuck in a car with him, 2 windows wide open and DD smoking didn't manage to mask the smell, I was thinking I might have to resort to ramming tictacs up my nose but thankfully the journey was short.

I have mentioned to DD that he smells and really needs to wash, I have also mentioned he can use the shower (his boiler doesn't work properly) she has casually mentioned that he needs to clean before work but that is as far as it goes, how she can cuddle up to him without vomiting I do not know.

Me and dh are friendly with a couple who live in our block of flats. They are lovely, but smell awful. It's a mix of unwashed clothes, greasy hair, bo and damp. Their flat is tidy but not clean and it smells so bad that the smell sticks to your clothes and hair. They recently gave us a playmat for dd but you can't wash it and it smells so bad I have had to bag it up to stop it making our flat smell.

I feel like such a bad person, but they have given us homemade cakes before and I haven't been able to eat them. I am a bit of a germaphobe and just couldn't cope with the idea of it being cooked in somewhere that smelt so bad.

Yanbu op, but i'm too chicken to say anything either!

Yanbu but it's such a difficult subject to broach. I wouldn't know how to deal with it either.

Other than a very few medical conditions, this is down to lack of washing both body and clothes, I think people who smell genuinely do not realise they smell and think they can get away with washing less.

I think the fairest and kindest thing to do is to follow ModreB's advice, don't make hints or send anonymous emails. Just accurately and factually inform them and offer a solution.

paranoia mode on... :-)

I would far rather be told if it was me, in the same way as I would like to know if there was a hole in trousers or a skirt tucked up.

BTW smokers - yes, it's not good. And perfume that anyone else can smell is also pretty bad.

(heads off for good scrub in the bath..)

I agree with you. It’s better coming from the boss. How did you get over it? This happened to me and I keep feeling really embarrassed about it as the people I worked with became really good friends. I think it was a mix of experimenting with natural deodorants and stress - a terrible combo!