To ask anyone with care home experience to advise.

[carehomeworry]

Went to see my aunt today who is staying is a care home, she lives 200 miles from me so I do not get to see her very often, she has MS and is wheelchair bound. She can feed herself (as long as things are cut up) she is very proud of her appearance and can brush her own hair and apply make up etc etc.

Her DH (her carer) has recently been taken into hospital where he will need to be for several months.

They managed to find her a place near her dh, but after visited today, she told me some stories that have upset me.

With her worrying about her dh her IBS has kicked in big time, and she often buzzes and has to wait 30-60 mins before someone responds to the buzzer, and for someone who has always been able to use the loo when she wants to have to sit in her "accident" for that long I think is disgraceful.

They also came to collect her dinner tray only to be told by my aunt that she has not even had it yet, on at least 2 occasions she has asked for her pain killers (in agony from the hoist) only to be told that according to the records she had them an hour ago (her legs might not work but her brain/memory is sharp).

She is used to a daily bath but here she is only allowed one a week.

She doesn't want to complain as things will get worse, she says the majority of the staff are lovely when they get to her, and says this is the norm for places like this.

From your experience is she right?

So, experience of one bad home? Or many?

In my (vast) experience, when people bring up concerns they are reassured, they are told the reasons that aunt betty is not up at 5 am and may have to wait two minutes for her bell to be answered, they are taken seriously when they are serious concerns.

Ah yes. If only my concerns were serious concerns. Then I'd have had no problem ironing them out! What a silly old shit I am.

Yes. Because that's exactly what people have suggested. Whinging and doing nothing. Why is it always the fault of the family?

Actually oldies two posters have commented here that they have seen substandard care and neither said they had or suggested the op should do something about it. Both posted with a resigned but saddened air.

Not one poster has suggested it is the fault of the family, every poster has indicated it isn't ok and the majority of posters have suggested taking action. It sounds like you have had some bad experiences which is obviously awful but I suggest you think about getting some support to deal with that rather than going pa on people offering good solid advice.

Please contact the Care Quality Commission. Tell them what is going on with examples. Threaten them with the press if nothing is done. This is disgusting treatment and should not be allowed to continue.

My mum's been in care for 2 years now. The only thing in your post that could be considered 'standard' as far as I can see is perhaps the weekly bath. The rest should be complained about

No, its not standard and its not good enough. I'd get on to the sw about it, but also contact cqc and the safeguarding team. Personally I would not talk to the home about it, take it above them as a matter of urgency. This won't just be happening to your aunt, the whole culture in the home will be like that. Its really important that you report this as it needs investigating asap.

Thanks again for your comments, will be making some phone calls today, my Aunt is the please don't make a fuss type, but this needs sorting.

I must admit that I fail to see how residents could be bathed daily with the amount of residents v staff. Also that buzzers can be answered immediately, it's not butler service BUT definitely going to the toilet should be a priority, if only because it is twice the work & time to clean it up!

Seriously though, if you feel she isn't being cared for adequately then you need to look into getting her moved. I've only ever known good care homes for my relatives so I mist be really lucky.

Your poor Aunt :( no definately not acceptable and they are not allowed to treat your Aunt differently just because she's had a genuine complaint. If that is what she was fearing bless her. I've just had a similar problem with my DM who is in Hospital and was left for over 30minutes in her own mess because the Nurse in charge of her was ignoring her as a 'troublesome patient'. (She has a trachy in Situ so can't talk and had been left without her buzzer and the curtains dream around her-only way she could get their attention was to tap on the table which her Nurse ignored) . I went to the Ward Manager and made them aware if said nurse ever pulled a stunt like that again I would be going much higher up. OP Could you ask for a meeting with your Aunts Care Home Manager and tell them expressly the same? Or like others have said have a word with the Manager and tell them you are still taking it through CQC? "she doesn't want to complain as things will get worse" to me. Making sure someone has their painkillers Is a simple right that they should be able to adhere too. You say she is in agony from the Hoist so I'm assuming she needs help with getting to and fro which they should be aware of and minimise her discomfort. Hope you manage to sort something out with them for both you and your Aunt and that her DH is feeling better very soon .

OP,I would report this home to cqc asap,I think you can do this anonymously? I worked in an amazing residential home,the staff were great,food great the residents were happy,it has gone downhill in the past 5 years due to cuts.I wouldnt give the food to my dog and all the decent staff have gone.Hourly rate went down etc now its full of kids who don't give a shit.No funds for activities,trips.It's disgusting the way the elderly are looked after in this country.I left because I was working like a donkey for a pittance and I couldn't take any more.

I'm afraid I have some bad news about the Care Quality Commission (CQC).

Having emailed them with a general list of things I've found annoying about my mother's current care home, I'm alarmed to find that I've been wasting my time. Quite simply, the CQC is not allowed to investigate individual complaints.

Yes, you heard that right. All they can do is make a note of what you've said, and follow it up on one of their visits, which occur twice a year. If they don't see it happening during their visit, as far as they're concerned, it hasn't happened. Your complaint will be 'not upheld' though they'll only get back to you to tell you this if you kick up a fuss.

Here I will quote what they wrote to me when I did kick up a fuss:

I hope you will find it useful for me to explain that under our current legislation (Health and Social Care Act 2008) we are not empowered to investigate complaints about an individual’s care on behalf of people that write to us.

So, I am frankly bemused that the CQC is slammed for not investigating reports of abuse by carers towards the elderly, as we have been reading in newspapers only recently. They can only act if they see it happening on one of their visits, apparently! Oddly enough, staff will be on their best behaviour and chose not to beat residents up when the CQC is around. Who'd have thought?

What they do advise is that, if you have complaints, you should, if social services is paying, report the matter to the Complaints Manager at Social Services. If you get no satisfaction there, you go to the Local Government Ombudsman (PO Box 4771, Coventry CV4 0EH) or 0300 061 0614 or 0845 602 1983). Or, if you are the ones paying, you go straight to the Local Govt Ombudsman.

Quite how you feel about contacting them over the fact your mum isn't getting attention within half an hour of ringing her bell, or is not getting her daily bath, is another thing. Don't expect much joy in this matter is my advice.

Currently there is no review system for Care or Nursing Homes on a par with Amazon, TripAdvisor, LondonEating and so on. There is a site called CareHome.Co.UK which is good for addresses and listing homes nearest you, but gives a misleading set of ratings under the heading 'Recommendations' where, you later find, only positive reviews are allowed! Yet they have a rating system on this, with one home getting 8.8! I mean, the most rubbish CD would get a five-star rating on Amazon if it were only allowed to publish positive reviews! I have plenty of bad stuff to say about my mother's last care home, and no one will get to hear of it, because of this odd, archaic system.

The CQC is a bit like the Food Standards Agency (FSA). If they see downright abuse, lack of hygeine, filth and so on, it will act sharpish. But everything else is just your opinion. If you went to a restaurant and got bad service, were kept waiting for an hour for the main course, got overcharged, well, you could report it to the FSA but it's outside its remit. They don't care. They will not get involved in a pissing contest, frankly they seem to find it petty and it's one person's word against another's.

You can see why relatives resort to installing covert spy cameras in their loved one's room....

Otherwise, I can only suggest you get in touch with the manager or failing that the proprietor or proprietor's right hand man/woman. Your leverage is stronger if not all the rooms in the home are filled, they need the money. In my limited experience, the managers like to adopt a 'them and us' attitude to relatives; they like to put you in their place and are nervous about ceding any power or leverage. Proprietors see it differently, if they don't have your custom, they lose money. Managers are on a salary, they get paid anyway.

Hope this helps and saves you time listing your moans to the CQC, who will say, 'thanks, we'll look into that' - then simply kick it into the long grass.

Hmm, Am I Being Unreasonable to suggest this thread be moved to 'Elderly Parents' on the All Other Business forum?

hmm I was a dementia nurse for six years in hospital weekly baths can be the norm due to the sheer amount of time a bath can take but all patients were washed daily as for the CQC one of our patients relatives worked for them and she regularly visited homes where complaints were made and closed down homes so I would complain to them.

prhaps the CQC don't take on individual complaints but if acare/nursing home is having lots of complaints they can do spot visits

A couple of years ago my Aunt went into a nursing home for the same reasons (though her MS meant she was less able than your Aunt). The nursing home were great though we did have some problems.

It's a big adjustment from 121 care from a loved one to a nursing home and my Aunt's expectations weren't very realistic (expected her needs to be anticipated and met before she had expressed them in the way my uncle had). I found working with the home on a care plan with my Aunt to be very helpful. I also found that my aunt's frustration and loss of control caused her to exaggerate wildly (not saying this is the case for your Aunt but worth considering).

Is there anyone closer who could meet with staff on a ongoing basis to get thus sorted?

Unfortunately these places are staffed to the bare minimum and the staff often struggle to see to everyone who needs assistance. We sometimes have to choose between feeding someone and taking another person to the toilet

It has been the case where we haven't had time to give everyone their allocated weekly bath.

It sux, but this goes on in each and every care home that has ever existed.

Talk to Age UK Advice line who can help you understand how to complain and what standards of care you should expect. They are on 0800 169 6565 8am -7pm 365 days a year. And they have this factsheets to explain the process. You might have a local Age UK near you who can help too.

www.ageuk.org.uk/Documents/EN-GB/Factsheets/FS59_How_to_resolve_problems_and_make_a_complaint_about_social_care_fcs.pdf?dtrk=true

From what you describe it doesn't sound like she is being treated with dignity and you should raise this firstly with the home and if that doesn't work then formally through the social care complaints process. Sorry you are going through this !

Thanks for all your replies.

There is a friend nearer who is speaking with social services about my Aunt, and waiting to hear the outcome. Thanks

This is completely unacceptable but sadly not unusual . I worked in a care home when I was 18, it was awful. I managed to find one other member of staff who gave a shit. Most were from the Philippines, they said they were trained nurses back home but over here they had to do three years in a care home before they could work as a nurse (not sure if that's true or not). A weekly bath was the norm, I heard staff saying to someone to stop asking to go to the toilet so much and to wee in her pad , I immediately took her. I had no previous experience and no training, there was 40 residents and 6-8 staff on per day. I worked on the nursing side (which is shocking given I had no training) and had eight residents between two of us. The residents called me "little one" and said I was the only one who cared . I recall I woman who had lost 3 stone since she moved in, she was bedridden and couldn't swallow properly, I fed her dinner after all my other residents had had theirs, it took me 45mins due to her poor ability to swallow. I was bollocked for it and told to give her what she'd eat in 10 mins then take the rest away . I ignored this and carried on giving her a decent meal and went and washed up her bowl myself as lunch time would be over (after lunch was a quiet time so wasn't making anyone else have to work extra hard). It was fucking disgraceful! The care home manager agreed with me and was trying to raise standards but none of the staff cared including the deputy manager. Something needs to change, it's all too common.

Oh and I only mention where the staff were from because is was a communication barrier (difficult to understand accented or broken english if you're a bit deaf and not used to it) and because it wasn't a job they'd chosen, they were doing their three years and then getting out.

This is neglect.

A buzzer should always be answered straight away as it could be an emergency, also it is never acceptable to wait half an hour for the loo.

I don't think it will make things worse. If the staff are lovely the problem is staffing levels. Some owners will get by with the lowest amount of staff possible.

Ask social services to put you in touch with the local safeguarding adults team.

It is true that a lot of nursing staff will be foreign. Not necessarily a problem of course, but sometimes there is what I would tactfully call a 'cultural disconnect' in that you can't always tell if they are being rude or if it is 'just their way'.

And I guess one starts thinking, well, if all the care staff are foreign (no English at all in the current care home my Mum is at), we are using foreigners to prop ourselves upm where otherwise we could have full employment, Not their fault of course, that's the UK for you. Many just don't want to go into that line of work, there's nothing prestigious about it, we create our own society.

Still, I digress.

I was a nursing sister for donkeys years (community/NHS/agency work and nursing homes). The problem is pay and conditions. The pay is atrocious for the long hours and type of work, the training is minimal, the hours are unsocial, unpaid overtime (time in lieu ... which you can never take back ^due to staff shortages) massive staff turnover, agency staff who are thrown into situations they are unprepared or under qualified for, endless paperwork, poor equipment, no time to chat/comfort a patient. The list goes on.

I left nursing, after 26 years in the job. I will never return.