To want to relax on Sundays?

[EleanorHandbasket]

I've had a tricky week at work, lots of driving and late evenings.

Yesterday was a busy day of Christmas shopping, and we took the kids out to lunch.

I had a nice lie in this morning, which I do appreciate. But DH is doing that passive aggressive housework thing and has just said that as I'm taking so long to get motivated that he'll go to his parents alone.

I got up, made a cooked breakfast and cleaned the kitchen. Then I said quite clearly that I wanted to rewatch Doctor who and have a nice leisurely bath, before we all spent an hour of power blitzing the house.

I ended up stuck under ds2 who fell asleep on me, didn't want to move him so I've only just got in the bath. I've come upstairs to find DH has done all the upstairs housework, and now I'm in the bath he's most likely cleaning downstairs, in fact I can hear the hoover.

It's Sunday. I have already said I will do the cleaning but IN MY OWN TIME. I don't like being rushed around, and we have all afternoon to visit his parents, they live five minutes away.

I am now feeling lazy and useless, as he has done everything (he's done everything all week as well), when if I'd been able to do it to my own schedule it would all have been lovely.

Aibu? Probably. Do your worst.

Can we swap husbands?

He is brilliant. But he makes me feel a bit lacking. And he is being a bit grumpy at me about it. Although he keeps saying he's not. Perhaps it's just me.

I think you're being unreasonable.

I think it depends. I prefer doing all the cleaning and relaxing for the rest of the day, rather than it hanging over me. You could have helped him tbh.

My Dh sometimes does this, I usually let him get on with it. Then afterwards thank him, let him know I appreciate it, but that I would have done it had he actually given me the chance!
You told him when you were going to do it, if he chooses to do it before then, then that's his problem IMO.

The plan is to visit his parents in the afternoon. You say you're relaxing for an hour, then you'll both do the housework and get ready to go. An hour later, you've still not got in to the bath, so he (grumpily?) makes a start on the housework and now you're saying he's at fault.

Actually, I can see it from both points of view. I'm just one of those people who likes to do the work and then the relaxing. Some people are made the other way 'round.

I dont think she is being unreasonable you and DH had different ideas on how to spend a Sunday. Leave him to go to his parents on his own with the kids. No need to feel guilty he can just say you have had a very busy week and feeling tired. We all need space to recharge and he should recognise your need for this. Dont let him make you feel guilty for needing this time

Agree with mrs4561

I do chores in my own time, if DH felt it needs doing he knows where the cleaning things are.

Please get out of the bath and go and visit your ILs this afternoon. I expect they are really looking forward to seeing you all. :)

you and DH had different ideas on how to spend a Sunday but he's not a mind reader. They agreed on a plan and she didn't let him know that it had changed or why.

Oh god dh and I tend to take turns in doing this every sunday, we have compromised by assigning certain jobs to each person so the other doesn't feel if they don't do it then it won't get done
Today Im on cooking duty which he isn't fussed on, he will be doing the ironing and cleaning think I totally got the best deal

I think YABU. But then my DH works just about every weekend, thinks his days off mid-week are for relaxing and does zero housework but expects it all to sort itself out. I spend 5 days a week at work and 2 days a week entertaining our 6 yo. Things could be worse.

I'm out of the bath now.

And stuck back under ds2 who is grumpy (he's 2),id left him asleep on the sofa when I got on the bath but he woke up and realised I'd gone and kicked off.

So I'm now dressed, at least, but stuck under a sleeping toddler for the foreseeable.

I've told dh to visit his parents, I'll stay here and properly clean the house, it will only take me an hour, tops, and is much easier without a houseful.

I hate being this tired on a weekend, DH is very tired (he gigged last night until gone midnight) and everyone's all grumpy and snipy. Not like us at all.

I think your plan is a good solution.

A compromise perhaps? I'd be putting the flags out if my DH ever did housework, especially without being nagged asked. You get to lie in and then you go to visit IL's later see,s Ok to me. It's good to relax though, is the IL visit regular or just today?