aibu to be not that bothers by DH porn viewing

[moshidelux]

NC for all the usual reasons. DH watches porn, the regular set of freebee sites, doesn't believe in paying for it as so many give it away free.

I'm not that fussed by him watching it. We have a pretty good intimate frequent sex life, he's very "attentive" to what I like, but every couple of days or so he watches a bit of porn and has a wank, generally on the days when we not getting jiggy.

He watches the stuff that we could never do as a couple, not anything that wouldn't be approved by the UK censers - but nonetheless stuff that I will never do(bum sex and 3+)

He's careful to ensure that its not on any computing device that the DC's would go near, as he's adamant it would be hugely wrong if they came across it.

I've always enjoyed reading very erotic literature, for me its the written word very kinky but similar to him but not visual. For him it has to be visual, sometimes I share the odd fantasy that I've had while masturbating or while he's going down on me and then later goes off and finds a video that roughly matches it.

I think it adds to our sexlife not ruins it, also he know what lines not to overstep. I think he's being quite honest.
So I aibu to think this is ok?

sorry but not a troll, like naice ham, thought penis beaker got put out of control, pom bears and love scottish mummy, honey dragon and have often thought Xenia has a point

Each to their own. If you are both happy then theres no problem

its OK for you as a couple if you both know the deal and are happy about boundaries. It sounds like this is done openly and within agreed limits of what is deemed mutually acceptable. Likewise it is also ok for other women NOT to like it, at all, and to express their feelings and expect to be respected and listened to.

Why do new registrations, feel the need to list easily googleable threads, that have hit the national press, as some form of justification for their existence?

I think it's ok too.

I am not a new member. I have been here for a few years but my usual mn is related to my work so have nc 1st time in over 2years. I lurk lots but post on chat TV and Aibu occasionally. why am I now being questioned about it?

That's nice that he can get off without thinking about whether the woman on screen is being raped, has been drugged, is a victim of human trafficking or just some woman exploited by the money men behind it all.

But as long as gets a free wank, well that's just fine and dandy.

It sounds like you have a lovely happy relationship.

However, I think 99.999% of porn is the product of a sick exploitative industry that damages all of those who work in it and many of those who watch it.
Watching people have sex is sexy - totally human reaction, but when we know that the people in it are very likely to have been abused children/have very few other career options/ may well be consenting adults but are also very damaged people: how does it still stay sexy?

That to me would be the same as watching a re run of jim'll fix it and still finding it heart warming.

I think the resurgence of adult literature has given a very good alternative.

It never used to bother me until I read on mumsnet about the negative connotations of the sex industry and the objectification of women.
It really opened my eyes and made me think.
It's interesting to find out about it at least.

How lovely. Thanks for keeping us informed.

yes I do agree that you need to be careful about what you watch.
we both watch Erika Lust's films. made by a woman for women. I would challenge anyone to watch "5 hot stories for her" and dont think any one was exploited. all actors m and f paid v well. if you can

also many years ago I taught a class who were all prostitutes ( legal where I worked) all were doctors, lawyers, surgeons and concert musicians) who all spoke 4+ languages to pay for their families back home. they had a good boss. and I know there were many not that fortunate.

What blistory said, how nice for him.

pity its not totally de-criminalised, a VAT of 5% on imported hookers, happy endings sauna massages and porn would fix the NHS and Social Services. Men are going to buy a fuck or wank fodder no matter what. Tax the fuckers - that's what I say.

Mind you most men are twats when it comes to conceptualising what goes on under the belly of porn and prostitution. I worked with this one smug fuckwit, who prattled on about being a supporter of women's rights etc. Until one day in the pub he announced to all of us that he's bought a Malaysian hooker, he went into great length about how he was a gentleman to her and went down on her. I ruined his evening by asking him if she'd had a shower between johns and as she was Malaysian, did he really think that if she could afford a flight to the UK, hooking would be her first career choice

well aren't you cool

Spare a thought for the women on his screen. He has no way of knowing how many times a week he's essentially wanking off to somebody's rape.

Smashing fun!

Also isn't there a danger if him becoming desensitised to rl sex if he's watching fantasy stuff online?
Do you have daughters? Would you both mind if they became porn actresses?

Why would doctors, lawyers, surgeons and concert musicians have sex with strangers for money?

All of those jobs or a few levels down from them are better paid and less risky than prostitution.

Why?!?!?

why are you posting here if you are so cool with it ?

laurie I'm still trying to get my head around that post!
Can't quite imagine it tbh.

Do you need MN to tell you it's ok.

Because if you need people to tell you it's ok,then you are not really comfortable with it.

Oh please.

Bad enough about the "nice porn", now you've got to throw in some "happy hookers" too.

Go and google a documentary called "Hardcore" which was shown on Channel 4 several years ago and see if you're still so sanguine about it then.

Wow your trendy/libral/ free spirited !

What bliss said. I watched a clip that was being passed about at work by done dick head lads and the 'girl' was that trussed up, you could tell if she was being raped or of her on will. It's awful!

I wonder how your hubby would feel if it was one of your children being sexually exploited? If one day it was one of your children on screen that he seen in his free porn?

BUT I think you knew the reaction you would stir.....

happy - the girls I knew were in Turkey where it legal. they were Russian. it paid for their family and their children to go to private schools in Russia. they did 6 month on and off . the teachers doctors hadn't been paid in ur. this was their option. I was lucky there boss liked me and I could get them to proficient English level so they could go back.