To be pissed off rather than feel guilty

[meanddog]

Background: MIL looks after son one morning a week. Her relationship with her daughter is miles closer than with her son (my husband) so there has always been a fine balance to the relationship staying good.
Husband was ill night and morning, vomiting. He stayed home sick, son to MIL while I worked. Next day son and myself ill also.
MIL has now told husband she has been mildly ill ( not vomiting just 'ill')and we're are at fault and should not have sent son to her if anyone in house was ill.
Should I feel bad I sent a son who had no contact whilst his father was sick and who showed no signs of illness untill 24 hours later or can I feel pissed off that MIL and FIL know I've been on my own all day sick with recovering son without so much as a how are you text?
I now feel the next time one of us sneezes we should quarantine ourselves until the danger has passed. I mean, the bank will understand if I can't pay the mortgage when I explain I couldn't possibly leave the house for work because one person is ill? ?!!!

If she provides free childcare you're at her mercy unfortunately. It's not about guilt, it's about the fact that you rely on her.

So MIL was just "mildly" ill, but everyone in your house was properly ill? Did she tell you herself or do you think FIL exaggerated out of concern for her?

Anyway, for future you'd probably do best to alert to any potential bugs/sickness before taking your son to her, giving her the opportunity to say yes or no (I'm sure she'll say yes).

But surely it's well known that norovirus and similar bugs are wildly contagious? I think you were selfish to send your son to your MIL knowing, or suspecting, that he might be contagious. It's more difficult for older people to deal with sickness bugs. She might be saying 'mildly ill' because she's not the type to bang on relentlessly about her health. I can't see where you're coming from at all.

The poor woman looks after your kid for free, you send your son to her knowing that he (and she) might come down with a sickness bug, then you whinge because she's not enquiring after your health!