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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to say BECAUSE I SAID SO!! (to a grown up)

9 replies

CocacolaMum · 23/11/2013 14:42

My little sister is nearly 30 and we both have dc. We live fairly close by and see each other maybe once or twice a fortnight as we both work (me from home and her out of the home) and our DC (who are the same age, 8) have sleepovers maybe every other month.

I got a fb message yesterday from her at 5pm which said "DS wants to sleepover. can he please?" I said no because I have a lot of work this weekend and also last night we would be out until 21:30 at a school choir thing with DD.
I got an almost identical message at 10am today which I couldn't reply to straight away and by the time I checked again an hour later she had resent it 4 times. I said no because like I said I have lots of work to do (on top of this OH isn't keen after a long week at work and just wants to relax, not babysit) and also dd's room has furniture out everywhere because we are waiting for her new bed to arrive so we have been gutting it out to get rid of bits to make space - its just not convenient for us.

She has just got arsey with me saying that she had dd over last month (they have a baby so despite me saying it was a bad idea in the first place she insisted and then spent the entire time shushing them...) so it was my turn and it had to be in the next 2 weeks...

I told her to go away before I lost my temper. I think its just plain rude to ask in the first place and he should wait to be invited so am a bit pissed off that she facilitated that by sending the message but really it IS inconvenient otherwise I would have said yes!!

OP posts:
FredFredGeorge · 23/11/2013 14:55

"'cos I said so" is never an appropriate response to an adult or child.

However, 'cos it's not convenient for us is a perfectly reasonable response and should not have needed any more comment.

Lulu1083 · 23/11/2013 15:00

I disagree FredFredGeorge, if OP had told her sister no the night before, said no in the morning after 5 messages in an hour and she is still rudely asking and arguing it, then 'because I said so' is a valid answer. She's not accepting any of op's reasons, so she'll have to get her head around the fact that her son isn't staying, and OP won't change her mind no matter what she says!

LittleBairn · 23/11/2013 15:03

I would have probably said the same.
She should have been up front for her conditions for having your DD to stay you have not broken any agreement.

puntasticusername · 23/11/2013 15:06

Sounds to me as if your DSis is on a promise tonight Wink

Agree, stand your ground. You've said no, you've got good reasons, her idea that now is the ideal time for you to return-host doesn't override all that unfortunately.

Angelik · 23/11/2013 15:18

have you considered that your sister might need an evening looking after her new baby without needing to worry about the older one? a break like this can be just enough to feel rested.

simply saying it's not convenient isn't very sisterly. a nice way would be to say it's not convenient this weekend but let's fix a date in the next week or two.

ThreeTomatoes · 23/11/2013 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Retroformica · 23/11/2013 16:53

Yes DSis son can come and sleep over but at a time convenient to you. Which is not now

TheGreatWizardQuiQuaeQuod · 23/11/2013 16:55

Does she really need your help do you think?

smokeandglitter · 23/11/2013 17:01

I don't think 'because I said so' is ever an appropriate answer, but simply stating the actual reason is fine.

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