To admit that I thoroughly enjoy working full time and pursuing a career

[FloozeyLoozey]

I'm a single parent to 7 year old ds and it seems that if mums work full time, they always have to qualify it with the statement that they are just doing it out of financial necessity and would be part time if they could. I do have to work full-time for the money, but I love it and would do so even if I didn't have to. I work upwards of 42 hrs a week and wouldn't change it for the world.

wordfactory I agree except that I think all mothers are made to feel guilty for their choices. I work because I enjoy it and wouldn't quit if I could (perhaps four days would be nice, one extra on the weekend). I don't see why I should apologise for liking my own job, but there is an assumption that you must feel terribly guilty, constantly be thinking about your children at work (um, no) and are doing this only out of economic necessity.

Sheesh. I can't believe anyone feels the need to justify working full-time after having children. YANBU.

Toddlers are not everyone's cup of tea, even if they're your own.

YANBU. I am a SAHM and love it too. Whatever makes you happy is great.

There's this corrosive assumption that women feel terribly sad if they spend a nano-second away from their DC.

The very few occasions when I have to go away with work, I'm asked if I miss my DC. Yet DH says he's never been asked this in a twenty year career that has included very regular travelling!

Great,I sadly know many who don't and who feel wrenched in two which is why now I'm near returning at a time that units me,my family and my children looking for something I enjoy is paramount.

During my time as a SAHM which I've loved I've often felt the need to justify myself as the collective view on MN and in the media seems to be we are trapped,bored and lazy.

Dp has been way for a week,was asked and did miss his dc dreadfully.

OP me too.

Im finding maternity leave difficult- which makes me feel incredibly guilty as DD is just the most amazing little thing, but im bored- I want to go back to work.

Retro I think you must be reading evry different types of media to everyone else!

In the UK the media is overwhelmingly full of articles about the difficulties expereinced by working mothers. Positive stories are very few and far between.

And here on MN some of the strident pro-working voices have been hounded off the boards!

Op I was you :) I worked full time in a demanding job when dd was 6 months right up to when she was 9. (She is now nearly 11). I was always very ambitious and career minded.

Then I wanted another baby and suddenly I just hated work. I have no idea why. I was desperately unhappy. So with support of dh (I was a single parent with dd before) I have now become a sahm. We have very little money indeed but I am happier.

For now anyway!

Having been on both sides and enjoyed both I just find it fascinating how much people can change during life. If anyone said id be a happy sahm even 5 years ago I would think they had gone mad.

As long as you're happy life is good.

Unfortunately these strident views often put down sahp,belittle their choices,insist they're doomed,infer they're lazy,bored and not qualified to look after their own children.

In the media sahp are now regarded as lazy scroungers who don't work hard or "want to get on".

Yes clearly we're reading different sections of the media.

Thanks OP because I do feel the need to NOT work full-time out of guilt, and I really wish I was working FT. If I say that to anyone I know they are shocked so I've learning to button it.

I work 3 days and they are not really full days as I'm freelance and work at home, and I'm always catching up with other stuff too. My DC have never really taken to nursery and now I have one at school, he doesn't like having to go to after school club either. I'm hoping I can get DD to be OK with going to to nursery 4 days next year, in the run-up to school. But when I have both in school, I feel I should only work school hours. I'm currently debating with myself whether to use after-school club then too.

Otherwise I will not get back to full-time hours until both DC can get themselves back from school and amuse themselves for an hour or two. I miss it terribly. I'm always struggling to do my work in the time I have and being alone, working is the only time I get headspace.

And what Fairy sad.Hopefully in a years time I'll be a part time worker loving every minute of my job with a family fully ready for that transition.

At the moment I'm a sahp who loves nearly every minute albeit not the empty pockets.

Yanbu.

Good for you if you enjoy it.

I work for a combination of bboth. I do enjoy my work and like being my own person but would probably turn some bits down if didn't need the momey - i'm self employed.

They are not strident views!

YANBU. I know people who've decided to completely change carer/work patterns to fit in with having children, people who have made small changes, and people who decided to work full-time. They all have their own truly believed reasons for their decisions and none is worthy of more praise or blame than any other.

I have not read or heard 'strident views' about SAHMs being inferior or belittling them (and isn't it interesting that the word 'strident' is pretty much always applied to women, not men?). To the contrary, a lot of media discourse seems to me to criticise WORKING parents (well, working mothers to be precise; another interesting point), and even on the positive side many writers and commentators seem to wrestle with the desire to spend less time at work and more time with their children, not the other way round.

YANBU as I have said before you have to do what makes you happy and suits your family

and isn't it interesting that the word 'strident' is pretty much always applied to women, not men?

Yes. Also, very frequently followed by the word feminist, like:

strident feminist

Sorry it was me who introduced the word strident.

I didn't think of it as a negative connotation as such. MNore that the voices I was refering to were strong and unapologetic for enjoying work.

word, sorry if I seemed like I was having a go. Your take on the word is interesting. I ALWAYS think of 'strident' as negative! I usually seem to read/hear it in this sort of context and, as Crowler says, often with the word 'feminist' appended.

Maybe women should reclaim the word, a bit like 'bitch' or 'ball-breaker'

It's a good word, wordfactory. You needn't apologize!

Let's reclaim it, Headless. :-)

No, you're probably right.

It is a word attached to women. Like shrill.

Unapologetic is better, I think.

Strident, feisty, hysterical, nagging. Words never applied to men it seems .

Why on earth should anyone need to justify themselves about working? Around here people fall over themselves to not be seen as SAHPs, definitely perceived as the lowest of the low.

Tbf I think all of us on MN could be accused of being strident at times.It is a discussion forum.

It goes both ways but thanks to the gov and their obviously disparaging views re sahp I do think sahp who are clearly regarded as the lowest of the low are having a harder time of it at the moment.

Being with your children isn't valued anymore,working is. However the vast maj of sahp will be wp at some stage and do a pretty exhausting and valuable day.

Retropear, it seems to me that SAHM's get shit and so do WOHM's. One's bad press does not outstrip the other. One thing we can rely on is that unless you happen to be, say, a children's book illustrator who works from home 25 hours a week - you will see your demographic demonized somewhere.