I slapped my child.

[Caff2]

He's thirteen, he called me a bitch, I told him never to say that again. He told me to fuck off, and I slapped him.

How do I make it OK again?

Tell him to apologise?

I think I need to!

He was way out of order

Don't beat yourself up

He was utterly shocked and ran upstairs and went to bed!

He deserved that slap.

How dare he speaks to his mum like that.

I'll have to talk to him tomorrow. Not sure how I'm going to make slapping him OK! I'm the bloody adult!

How horrible for you.

Have some and

Thanks for wine and flowers! I've shocked myself!

I really don't know how I feel about this because...on the one hand I don't believe in slapping 13 year olds...and most of society has moved on from smacking younger kids as a form of discipline.

But (and I'm aware this makes me sound like a hypocrite) neither me or my 4 siblings would have ever dared speak to my parents like that because we would have got a well deserved slap.

I'm sorry, I'm not helping here

I empathise but also agree that it's not acceptable.

I think sit down and talk when calm...no matter how long it takes to reach calm. Leave it 3 days if necessary. Don't attempt any conversation until emotions have burnt out

Well 13 isn't a child anymore he deserved that slap and I'm really against smacking.

I would of walloped my dc to.

I don't think you should apologise either I think he should be apologising for the awful things he said before you start.

I've never slapped him before, I didn't mean to! I guess I lost my temper.

13 may not be a 'child' but nor are they an adult.

And if the OP had slapped an adult who called her those names in the street, she would probably be arrested.

But the OP seems well aware that her reaction was wrong.

Disrespect is definitely my hot button. I think you should think of some punishment he will receive if it happens again, so you are both clear of the consequences for the behavior and hopefully you don't lose control.

I yelled at my 13 year old dd today and she burst out crying. I was totally out of order and am horrified. It is a very rare occurrence (once a year or less) but I lose it when I am stressed over other things and than run out of patience suddenly for normal kids behavior. If you are running low on patience too can you give me some ideas of how to not overreact?

I know it was wrong! I feel terrible. His words up the stairs were "Well, I'm not sorry now!!"

At about the same age I was a total PITA my parents never ever hit, they always talked to us.

Anyway 1 day I pushed and pushed and pushed my mums buttons and she slapped me full on the face. I ran away in shock.

She sent my older sister to find me and bring me home and I vaugley remember me crying a lot and her stiffly apologising while making it clear that it happened because I pushed her too far, she had feelings too.

I continued to be a pita until about 18, but within the limits as I now knew them. I'd always been wary of pushing dad (no idea why! ) but now I knew my mum wasn't my personal kicking block. It was a GOOD THING.

So calm down and do exactly as she did.

13 is a child

It's not the end of the world, Im sure youve given yourself a huge frightm and your sons got a huge fright too

Sit down with him tomorrow and apologise and explain what the consequences will be if he does it again (change the wifi password_

I think you were severely provoked, OP. You may feel you have crossed a line but so did he. It is normal for teenagers to rebel and challenge their parents, but using that language to you is beyond the pale.

I sometimes think it is better for children to realise how shocking their behaviour is - you may just have nipped this in the bud.

. Talk about it with him tomorrow. It wasn't the' right' thing to do, but I don't mind admitting I've done the same when my 11 year old DS has spoken like that to me.

What was said before he called you a bitch?

You both need to apologise and have a proper talk about how this all came about.

I'm not sure how it is that on threads where a younger child is slapped slapping anyone is wrong, and on a thread where an adult is slapped slapping anyone is wrong but on a thread where a 13 year old is slapped suddenly it's all right as they are not an adult or a young child.

Obv he owes you an apology, but you owe him one too for lashing out.

I wouldn't apologise.

If you apologise he will think he can push and push and push without boundaries. You have shown him that you will not tolerate being spoken to like that. It is a disgraceful way to speak to your Mum and he should be thoroughly ashamed of himself. If he doesn't apologise in the morning then I would be telling him what the consequence of his disgusting behaviour would be.

What brought it all on and how often is he like this?