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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my ex is a killjoy!

20 replies

Joanne279 · 22/11/2013 21:32

Dd aged 8 went to bed tonight asking if she was going to get any presents this year because daddy told we Santa doesn't exists!

Seriously, she's 8...and heartbroken. Thinking she won't get anything :( why can't he keep his big mouth shut?!

Is 8 too old to believe in Santa, or let them feel the magic as long as they believe? X

OP posts:
Original poster
Joanne279 · 22/11/2013 21:42

?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 22/11/2013 21:48

I'm always amazed that 8 yo still believe. Maybe your ex is in that camp too. Surely other kids at school must have told her by now.

Original poster
Joanne279 · 22/11/2013 21:57

Really? :( x

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 22/11/2013 22:00

I had an older brother so that probably means I thought everyone got told young. Just assure her that she will still get presents.

I'm in the throes of deciding whether to start the whole thing with DD (almost 3). I would much rather Santa was a 'story' to her not a real person but I worry that other parents will hate me!

Xochiquetzal · 22/11/2013 22:13

Why would an adult tell a child any age that Father Christmas isn't real? surely its safer to just wait til they tell you they know?

IMO 8 isn't too old to believe, especially if shes your eldest but it is about the time some of her friends are likely to have found out so it probably would of come up at school soon anyway.

kinkyfuckery · 22/11/2013 22:15

That is just mean! What reason did he possibly have to tell her?

FTR, mu 8 year old still believes!

Leeds2 · 22/11/2013 22:26

I think that is a bit unreasonable. I know plenty of 8 year olds that still believe. Surely you carry on the pretence until they till you that you are being ridiculous, lol.

zipzap · 22/11/2013 22:36

Can you do the believing the magic then when you grow up and are a very big girl (ie now), you become one of the magic makers?

And or point out that Santa doesn't bother to give daddy a present/stocking as he doesn't believe but that so long as you still believe, you'll still get one?

Overthehillmum · 22/11/2013 23:12

I only ever did one present from Santa, and the rest from actually the people that gave, as my kids got older Santa was more about cookies and milk, and then about magic about younger kids believing, but hey, he is a git for not discussing it with you, but christmas is about surprises and kindness, my kids are 22 and 23 and I still surprise them.

CoffeeTea103 · 22/11/2013 23:45

8 is definitely too old Imo. Maybe he actually did her a favour, surely they will be discussing things like this in school. Better her parent tells her than someone teasing her at school.

BadLad · 23/11/2013 01:04

Yes, he is a miserable kill-joy

Joysmum · 23/11/2013 01:27

My 10 year old asked me if Santa was real, she knows he isn't.

I told her that as a 40 year old, I like to believe in Santa because it gives so many people so much pleasure. I told her that for me it's the same as God, there's no proof a god exists either but it's up to people whether they choose to make that leap of faith and it's up to her what she wants to believe in.

HarrietJonesPrimeMinister · 23/11/2013 07:35

My older dds were 10/11 when they worked it out, they still pretend for the little ones.

WaitMonkey · 23/11/2013 09:30

Did she ask him, or did he just decide to tell her ?

RandomMess · 23/11/2013 09:35

Whenever mine asked that sort of question I just asked them what they thought and never answered it myself. I think for a good few years they are just not sure and that is part of growing up - making that transition from believing in fantasy and fairy tales into learning to be truthful IYSWIM.

Yep he is a kill joy to have told her the way he clearly did - for her to end up thinking she wouldn't get any gifts!!!

ll31 · 23/11/2013 09:43

Can't believe how many people think 8 is too old to believe in santy, find it a bit sad. Agree with idea that you say nothing till they ask and then ask what they think. Surely there's room for a bit of magic for a few yrs after 8... Each to their own tho. Would emphasise to her not to spoil it for other kids

KittensoftPuppydog · 23/11/2013 09:47

Santa doesn't exist???Shock Sad

ZombieMojaveWonderer · 23/11/2013 09:50

My niece and nephew were told from a very young age that there was no santa. My brother feels that seeing as he worked bloody hard for the money to buy the presents why should santa get all the praise Wink
I have to agree but I've never actually told my kids I was just really crap at keeping up the pretence, it's silly now because they pretend to believe but we all know they don't. They know they will get presents regardless but like to keep it up for their dear old mum. Bless them Wink

Purple2012 · 23/11/2013 09:50

My 10 year old nephew doesn't believe but pretends for his 8 year old brother who does believe. I think the 8 year old will believe for a couple more years. I think its harmless and makes it so magical for them.

nonameslefttouse · 23/11/2013 10:00

My ds 8 still believes and long may it continue what's wrong with a bit a magic?

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