To NOT tell a mum that her son was freezing cold?

[CustardLover]

I was out with my dc and my dm today when we met the son of an NCT friend of mine out with his dad. He's two and a half and was so inadequately dressed for the weather that I shivered just looking at him. He was in a t-shirt and thin rain jacket - no jumper or warm coat or hat or anything - and short trousers with bare legs. His dad was in a massive shearling coat. My mum was horrified and thinks I need to tell the mother that her dp doesn't dress their ds appropriately for the cold. I would be massively uncomfortable doing this - I don't know the dp well and I just don't think it's my place. I think she will be able to see what her ds is wearing when she comes home from work herself. But I do feel bad for the cold little boy. AIBU not to comment to the mum?

[shebird]

I saw a mum sitting outside a cafe today with a baby in a high chair. She was well wrapped up but baby was just wearing leggings and a thin top with no socks - it was the cold little feet that got me birrrrr. There were free seats inside!

[bolderdash]

Some dc get hot. Mine will wear a winter coat with hood up in the blazing heat. Her friend wears a strappy summer dress most of the year. I wouldn't get involved. I'm sure his mum is aware. But sometimes they argue, scream, fight and you think - we'll go out like that then and wait for them to ask for more clothes. It's a learning thing. They don't suddenly get hypothermia because of it.

The automatic assumption that it's something to do with neglect really riles me. It's usually from people who have forgotten what dc are like, having not looked after one for 30 years.

My baby wouldn't keep socks or a hat on. They were thrown in the gutter as soon as she could move her arms. But the number of comments you get. She survived unharmed.

[Looksgoodingravy]

Ds would wear t shirts all year round if he could, he goes to bed naked, he's rarely in a jumper as he just gets too warm. I've learned to accept that's just the way he is.

OP I wouldn't dream of saying anything to the mother of the boy you saw out today, knowing what my ds is like I'd be pretty offended if I thought somebody knew what was best for my child.

[Bathsheba]

My BIL once got into a battle of wills with my sister and took their son out for the day in similar .

Cue 2 year old with hypothermia.

Actual medical hypothermia. Not just "a wee bit cold".

I don't know in your situation though if I could say something

[Looksgoodingravy]

Sorry that last bit didn't make sense (half watching something on the tv too)

In short, I'd be offended if someone tried telling me that they knew my ds better than me by offering advice on appropriate winter wear. Still doesn't make sense but along those lines anyway.

[breatheslowly]

I have spent the last few days loud parenting at DD who refuses to put on a cardigan or coat. As we walked from the car to her music lesson, every time we walked past people I said, "Are you sure you aren't cold? Would you like to put the coat I am holding on?" as I don't want people to think that I am deliberately freezing her while being well wrapped up myself.

[LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot]

My DD would wear that, she just doesnt feel the cold, i dont really feel it either, some people just dont feel cold.

[roses2]

A better thing to say would have been to the child "gosh, aren't you chilly". They might be able to answer for themselves and less offensive for the parent.

[CustardLover]

Completely agree with the majority that it's not agood idea to mention it to the mum, I'm glad to have the backup! My own dm just wouldn't let it go though (however very good at being a fusspot with my boys too) and after a while of the guilting you do doubt your own judgement!

For context, he was in a buggy and he was whinging a bit which is why I think he probably was a bit cold but as some said, hopefully that's just a trigger for him wearing some more layers if either a) his dad hasn't realised he might need them or b) he had previously refused them. They were also walking in the direction of their house and almost home

[CustardLover]

Roses - that's a great way to do it and if it happens again I will.

[Nanny0gg]

He's two and a half?

I'm with your mum...

[bellybuttonfairy]

My ds1 (age 2) wore a t shirt on the freezing school run this am. I practically manhandled him into a cardie, coat and hat. The hat was off before we left the front door. He took his coat qnd cardigan off twice (as I put them back on) on the way there. In the end I gave up and actually said to him 'freeze then'.

[Notcontent]

Yes, sometimes it is a battle of wills.

But I am also amazed how often I see children wearing very little who are obviously freezing, while parents are all wrapped up.

Often I think it's just thoughtlessness. E.g.many children wearing rain coats in the middle of winter when they should be wearing a nice warm coat.

[verytellytubby]

My boys only wear a coat if its raining or snowing.

[Cat98]

Haha breatheslowly I do exactly the same when ds refuses a coat!

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

When DS was in Yr 5 his teacher said "I'm a bit concerned that your DS doesn't have a jumper"

Yes, he did. I put the jumper on DS.
He took it off as soon as he got to breakfast club.
The teacher then said "Hmm, yes, at break he goes out with no coat (in winter) "

I wasn't offended in the least though,

And when my DS walks along with his coat wide open because I've made him wear one...well at least I've tried

[LaGuardia]

I agree with YouTheCat. Could be a safeguarding issue where the child dare not complain. Also, very interesting how many posters comment that their toddlers only wear what they want. You all really let a two year old tell you what they are going to wear