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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a penknife isn't suitable for 10-year-old DS?

43 replies

loobs2 · 22/11/2013 16:00

Our son has included a penknife on hie xmas wish-list and whilst DH thinks it an ideal stocking-filler I can't see the point, nor am I sure it's appropriate for him. None of his friends has one, nor is he in the Scouts...nor even engaged in the kind of pursuits a penknife might come in handy for! DH says it's one of those things active young boys just like to have, and he himself had one by the age of 10...

OP posts:
sOODdragon · 22/11/2013 16:01

I had one when I was primary school age. I wouldn't let mine have it unsupervised though.

VerySmallSqueak · 22/11/2013 16:04

I think it'd be fine so long as he knows how to use it and stay safe with it.

I think he should be encouraged to do some of those things he may need a penknife for,and this may just inspire him!

Twitterqueen · 22/11/2013 16:06

It's a boy thing. I suspect he would absolutely love it.
Scouting / activities etc are irrelevant.
He may never use it but they're just nice things to have...

I would get one for him.

ErrorError · 22/11/2013 16:07

I got one aged about 8. Strict rules though, definitely not to be taken out of the house to other friends' houses. Except in my own garden if whittling sticks. Definitely not taken to be taken to school. Does your DS tell you why he wants one? If he's showing an interest in practical things then it might be fun to sit with him and show him all the things he can do with it. I had the most basic model so that's an idea if you're a bit nervous about it.

squoosh · 22/11/2013 16:07

I bought one for a 6 month old, granted he probably isn't allowed to play with it just yet!

movingaway · 22/11/2013 16:08

I had a swiss army knife at that age... liked to think of myself as a bit of a tomboy, in reality the only bit I ever used was the scissors (and a few years later the corkscrew...)

I guess it depends what you think he wants it for?

bochead · 22/11/2013 16:10

DS is seriously into bushcraft and got a fire steel as part of his birthday. He's had compasses, binoculars and other related items for years.

A penknife is MINE and I lend it to him for specific activities iyswim. This isn't the era your partner grew up in. Aged 8 my lad was threatened in the playground with a knife. Knife culture and crime is rife now amongst even scarily young kids in some parts of the country, and gifts everywhere sadly now have to reflect this horrid contemporary climate.

If your child is found to have a knife in their possession by anyone in authority (school, youth clubs, parks, the street) the legal ramifications for a child now of age for criminal prosecution are not good. For this reason I carry the penknife to and from activities, (and keep a leaflet about said activity in my handbag).

You need to protect your child by saying now and drag your partner kicking and screaming into 2013 from his boyhood comic stories. Kids aren't even supposed to read about the famous five nowadays, much less act it out lol! Wink.However this is far more serious than just the usual PC nonsense, in London approx 250 kids/teens dies every year now from knife crime.

NoComet · 22/11/2013 16:13

certainly not a boy thing, DD1 had one at that sort of age.

haggisaggis · 22/11/2013 16:14

I got ds one for his 10th birthday - strict instructions not to take it outside our house. He liked looking at all the tools and fiddling about with it - but hasn't bothered much with it after that. I think it's fine. He also has afire steel and a kind of saw made from some wire. These are all good, 10 year old presents, I think.

VerySmallSqueak · 22/11/2013 16:14

I agree with bochead to a degree.

He shouldn't be allowed to just randomly carry it about with him.

However I think knife crime shouldn'tstop innocent kids learning skills and enjoying the outdoors in a perfectly natural way.

Perhaps a book on bushcraft too,to further emphasise what the penknife is for.

17leftfeet · 22/11/2013 16:15

It's illegal for a child to purchase a knife

It's illegal for a reason

onlyfortonight · 22/11/2013 16:15

My 9 year old DD got one for her birthday. There are some which are designed for children of that age - very small blade, rounded end to knife. We obivously only give it to her when she is under supervision, otherwise it is away in the camping gear, but she loves it and used it loads over the summer.

That all said, I think you should have a clear idea why you would want him to have a pen knife. We go camping in really basic campsites - the wilder the better, and therefore we both teach her to use a knife as part of camp craft. I wouldn't buy a penknife for a child just to 'have'. Carrying a penknife without good reason could be (and would be by the police) seen as carrying a weapon, and there is no way I would support that. Therefore if your DH is deadset on this as a gift, then he needs to really think hard as to whether he will also undertake to teach DS the use of a penknife as a tool - not a weapon.

I would go back to DH and ask him what he means by handy - and how is he going to teach DS this 'craft'. (BTW there are some great camp craft books available too - buy both together if you do decide to get a penknife)

MaddAddam · 22/11/2013 16:16

My dds have all had penknives from about 8. Plus various sharp woodworking knives (they're also into bushcraft and whittling) from that sort of age. My 9yo is pretty sensible with knives, I don't see any problem as long as they don't take them to inappropriate places or use them carelessly - which my dds don't.

harticus · 22/11/2013 16:17

I had a penknife at his age and I am not a boy.
And I didn't butcher myself or anyone else with it.
It all depends on the child.

BackforGood · 22/11/2013 16:23

Mine have all had them from 11 (once they are in Scouts, and use them on camps). They love the fact they each have their own and are very proud of them, but they have been taught appropriate 'rules'.

worldgonecrazy · 22/11/2013 16:29

I really hate to be too judgemental, but I think a great deal depends on where you live, who his friends are and what he does in his spare time. Whilst I'm sure there may be reasons for someone in inner city London who hangs out in shopping centres/cinemas in his spare time to have a penknife, I can't think of many. If your son does cubs/scouts, or enjoys camping, etc. then there may be more valid reasons.

Having potentially dangerous items can teach children that they are not toys and should be treated with respect as they can cause injury.

DD's school starts bushcraft lessons when they are 7, and the children use pen knives from about that age.

I certainly wouldn't let a child carry it around routinely though.

Incidentally, it's illegal to carry a can of hairspray, if it is your intention to use it as a weapon. Having said that, the carrying of a knife is one crime where there is a presumption of guilt rather than the usual presumption of innocence, and it is up to the carrier to demonstrate that they have legitimate reasons to carry a knife, rather than for the prosecution to demonstrate guilt. At least that is how I have always understood it, quite a few members of my religion use knives as ritual tools, so there was quite a lot of publicity when the law came into being, about how and when to carry knives in public places.

squoosh · 22/11/2013 16:32

Oh are you a Sikh worldgonecrazy? I remember the man who was prevented from entering Lords with his ceremonial dagger.

thecatlikesmebest · 22/11/2013 16:32

Supervised whittling /bark stripping is fine at this age, but I always kept the knife when not in use.

VerySmallSqueak · 22/11/2013 16:37

I would LOVE my DD's school to do bushcraft classes world.

I suggested getting involved in the whole forest school thing to the headmaster but got no response.

I think he was too busy doing the school website and twitter thingie to listen Sad.

starfishmummy · 22/11/2013 16:39

I had one before that age too - but different times; we could carry them round without anyone thinking we were going to stab people!

In fact one of the teachers at my junior school had penknives and a whetstone for sharpening them in the classroom for sharpening our pencils.

FredFredGeorge · 22/11/2013 16:41

It's entirely appropriate gift.

It's inappropriate to let him take to school / out playing etc.

WooWooOwl · 22/11/2013 18:31

My ds had one at age 9, but he does a lot of camping first with cubs and now scouts, and they were taught about knife safety, which is constantly reinforced.

I wouldn't have wanted him to have it if he wasn't also going to be taught about when it is and isn't appropriate to use it, and how to use it safely.

Original poster
loobs2 · 22/11/2013 18:45

Hmm. DH has already said DS wouldn't be allowed to take it out with him (would never ever let him near school with it!) but that he could take it on, say, a country walk with us when he might find sticks to whittle or somesuch, and on camping trips... I don't necessarily have a problem with that except that the country walks are occasional, the camping trip a once-a-year event! So when would DS actually make use of it? Hardly ever! As DH has also pointed out, DS is a sensible boy and mature for his age so could be trusted with it I think, but I'm still not sure. DH has made it clear I'm going to be very unpopular if I dig my heels in over this...

OP posts:
Original poster
loobs2 · 22/11/2013 18:49

Only fair to add that DH does know quite a bit about appropriate use of penknifes and safety etc. and I know he would give DS good guidance...

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 22/11/2013 18:51

Nope, not a boy and I had one.

They have to learn to be responsible at some point and I learnt a few painful lessons about not cutting corners and being responsible form my knife.