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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

should I lie to keep the peace or tell the truth?

8 replies

Earworm · 22/11/2013 10:48

Before reading this, YES I've been naive and taken someone (friends of the family) at face value. I have learned my lessons in that respect, and would appreciate advice on what to do next..

My partner and I split up a few years ago and the house we own has been rented out to my brother and SIL since then (ex takes no interest in the house, so I'm on my own trying to rent it out for the first time). They moved out in September this year and the property needed decorating before renting it out again. Then SIL said that one of their friends and her BF were desperate for a place to stay as her mum had "thrown them out" (alarm bells should have been ringing) and they might be interested in renting it.

I spoke to the friend and agreed that they could move in as soon as it was empty, as long as she didn't mind renting it as it was. I then found out that my SIL had let them move early and they were all living there together. I was annoyed as we hadn't had a chance to speak about the lease prior to them actually living there.

When I approached her with the lease (standard 6 months) she asked if I would mind it being on a monthly basis as they were looking to buy somewhere ASAP. It wasn't what I had in mind, but since they'd already made themselves at home, if they signed the lease and gave me at least a month's notice that they had bought a flat then I'd be willing to release them early. We'd done each other a favour - they had a place to stay and I had tenants in without a break. I figured they'd probably be there for 6 months anyway by the time they found a place to buy and got moved in.

She contacted me this week to say that they were going to view a few flats and she'd keep me updated. 2 days later, she text to say that they'd put a holding deposit on a flat with a view to moving in December so she was giving me a month's notice.

BUT…

I only agreed for them to stay less than 6 months term because they wanted to BUY somewhere. I could have had someone in by October for 6 months and now I'm left without tenants from Mid-Dec, one of the worst times of year to get tradesmen in and then rent a place out. I feel totally taken advantage of as they would not have got a short lease elsewhere and annoyed with myself for not refusing it in the first place.

To make it worse, she doesn't seem to realise that she's being a bit unfair as she's asked me to be a referee for them for their new rental. She then text me again to say that she "somehow put on the form that they'd been living at my house for 6 months" and would I mind telling a "little white lie" for them to the letting agent when they called.

Should I
a) say no with no explanation
b) completely ignore her request and ignore the letting agent's phone call
c) tell the letting agency the truth
d) tell her I'll lie for her, but explain that I feel she's been unfair to me and hasn't stuck to her part of our arrangement
e) tell her she's a total wide-o and shit on her car bonnet

I don't want to rock the boat as she's a very good friend of my SIL and don't want to get her involved. And they're still in my house, so I don't want to piss them off either. And they're going to move out anyway so what difference will it make to me (other than probably make me look bad and feel shit later on if I'm a total bitch).

OP posts:
traininthedistance · 22/11/2013 10:53

I understand why you're annoyed (I would be too) but you agreed to the terms of this arrangement and to exactly what has happened, so you're a bit U here. However she is being U is lying to the letting agent and asking you to lie - that's not on.

Of your options, I would not do either D or E which are both unreasonable in different ways. However, I think you're entitled to do any or all of A-C depending on what you feel like.

RevengeWiggle · 22/11/2013 10:53

They would have left whether renting or buying so I don't understand why you're upset by that part, but I think they've all taken advantage of you a little and you don't owe them the lie. Be honest about how long they were there but if they were good tenants while they were they be honest about that too.

flowery · 22/11/2013 10:54

I would say you don't feel it's appropriate for you to be a referee as she was there for such a short time. Say you will confirm dates if asked, but obviously won't be able to lie.

gamerchick · 22/11/2013 10:55

That's actually quite a tough one considering they're still in the house.

I think I'm leaning towards just concentration in getting them put ASAP. Tell them you'll do it after you've inspected the place before they go fir any damage or something.

Then tell your SIL that under no uncertain terms should she ask you for a favour again.

sparechange · 22/11/2013 11:04

How annoying for you. And SIL has put you in an awkward position with this.

But, I think early January is one of the best times to rent out houses (according to the letting agent I used to use, anyway) so hopefully you won't have a void for too long.

I know 'no' is a complete answer, but I would be inclined to say something like 'I have spoken to letting agents in the past about renting the house out, so they know who has lived there and when, and they all talk to each other, so if I lie about you, it will be found out quite quickly'

WooWooOwl · 22/11/2013 11:08

I agree with exactly what flowery said.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 22/11/2013 11:16

I would be mad at SIL then myself. Can DB and SIL not have her and bf sleep in their from 1st Dec that will give you more time to find a new tenant? And in return you will give a nice reference and play ball with the letting agent.

Earworm · 22/11/2013 11:26

Thanks everyone - good to get unbiased opinions.

I'm mad with myself more than anything else - I'm completely to blame for allowing this to happen, but as you say RevengeWiggle they would have moved out either way - you can't control how other people choose to live. I just thought that since they were friends of SIL that they might be more mindful of what we had both agreed. SIL was just trying to help us both out and I took the easy option by renting to them (esp. since ex has left it all to me to sort out) LESSON LEARNED - I'll be using a letting agent from now on!

As for the lying - you're right, I don't owe them it. Think I'll text her and tell her that I can't lie about the dates but I'll advise that they were good tenants who paid on time during their rental.

So if you work in a car wash in the Glasgow area you've been spared Wink

OP posts:
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