To think the other bus passengers should have done something?

[Alisvolatpropiis]

On the bus home tonight i was minding my own business,trying to ignore the obnoxious teenage friends I had found myself surrounded by. A man with obvious SN got on the bus, around late 50's.

The girl sitting next to me turned around to her friend (sitting directly behind us) and said "oh look it's X, is he a 'tard?". Cue much laughter from teenagers. I twitched but nothing.

Long story short - the man had sat with them because he knew the ringleader. It very rapidly got to the point where they were loudly and openly mocking him, filming him. At which point I turned around and loudly told them what they were doing was disgusting and unacceptable etc. They didn't react well. But I persevered until they stopped.

That isn't the AIBU. I believe I did the right thing.

It was obvious the other passengers on the bus could hear what they were doing, it was also obvious many felt very uncomfortable. Why didn't anyone else say something, even to back me up? Instead they first all sat there listening and/or watching this man be bullied and then listened and/or watched me say something about it.

Am I unreasonable to think someone else could have said something too? And to be confused as to why they did not?

Agree with kinky. It sounds like you had dealt with it already. Well done.

Well done you. I generally speak up in these situations as bullies and the like tend to boil my piss. The other passengers should have backed you up. A united front tends to get results. Go you!

It isn't that I needed help, it's just that as others have since said, a united front has more impact.

Guaranteed they went home talking about "that stupid cow on the bus" whereas if more people had said something too then they might actually question their actions instead.

limited That made me smile .Good to know that some people will stand up for what is right. Seems to me thatmy parents generation had it right in it takes a community to raise a child/teenager.

I've done it before when someone was being openly racist to a lady about her little toddler. No one backed me up but a lot smiled at me. I don't think you are being unreasonable but it does depend a lot on your personality. I am very open and confident, and have a mouth the size of Britain (not always a good thing!) not everyone is like that though.

Yanbu. I cannot help myself when things like that happen. I cannot just sit there and allow it.
I do understand that the other passengers may have been scared.
I do know they would have been thankful for you being there though. I know they also would have leff that bus with guilt!

There was a teen lad kicking a teen lass on the grass outside of my home a few months back. I was raging. But my ex wouldnt let me out. I still feel incredibly guilty and we had a hige arguement over it.
I was thankful that my neighbour went out and handled it. He is on steroids so you can imagine the fear in that kids face!

Once on a train a teenage boy (in a group) was being very very very sexually explicit about a young girl (sitting with GM?). Talking about oral/anal sex very loudly. I was with my DD and got up and had a 'quiet word' with him along the lines of she is a child and I think what you are saying is completely unacceptable. Give him his due, he shut up! I then spent the rest of the journey shaking and v embarrassed as the other passengers all looked away (from me!!!). The GM smiled at me but didn't say anything! Luckily he got off soon...then everyone started talking about how awful teenagers are!!! There is a saying 'it takes a community to raise a child'. We are loosing this....But I would do it again...

I once got mugged by a group of teenagers on a packed bus and not one person helped me. in fact the bus driver stopped the bus for me to get off and chase them knowing they hady purse with all my money in and I'd have no way of getting home.

It's incredibly sad that people have become too frightened to intervene. If I had my child with me I might make a decision about the sort of incident I dealt with but generally I would act. I have indeed got involved when two boys were hassling a girl on a bus.

A special moment was when the whole bus cheered as they were thrown off. Solidarity.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

A few years ago a girl was raped on a train packed with families on a day out to Southport.
Parents told their children to look the other way.

I struggle to understand how it was 'allowed' to happen, but then I've never been in such a terrible situation.

The other incident that springs to mind is public schoolgirl Ruby Thomas kicking to death a gay man in Trafalgar Square.
People walked by ignoring it.

Thank you xx my DS has SLD and severe autism.

You did the right thing. You should be proud of yourself.
All I know is that I was raised to be a hero. To do the right thing, to stand up against the crowd, it was drummed in to me by my parents.

We had an elderly lady with a learning disability and her sister, her carer, live near us as children. My mum and dad would help these people with shopping and DIY. My mum told me it was MY responsibility to make sure this lady was not made fun of/ridiculed if I saw her out. She used to get the same bus as me and her behaviour made her a target for bullies. I, from about 11 would leave my friends and go and sit with her and tell people off if they made derogatory remarks.

My parents talked to me about how powerful I was and how I needed to use that power for good.

I now have these expectations for my children.

For the people who wouldn't challenge the teenagers IF they had their children with them. Really? What kind of message is that?

What an amazing lesson for children to see their mother put herself out there and fight for fairness. To protect another vulnerable human being.

I agree OP it's very sad.

Well done for standing up to them OP.

Tbh, if I had my young children with me I wouldn't have said anything. If I had been alone I would like to think I would have stood up for him. I would have been scared though. It's hard to know what you would do until you're in the situation.

No lookat I wouldn't intervene if my children were with me. If these teenagers were going to physically attack me I would rather my children weren't caught up in it.

My mum always taught me to stand up for what is right. Once she was walking in town and saw some football hooligans attacking a rival fan - five or six men beating up a man on his own, stamping on his head, etc. She was the only person in the town centre who tried to intervene and she really went for it as well. Anyway, because she decided to get involved, it was enough to send them running away. That one tiny 5'3'' woman had the guts to stand up to thugs like that really makes me proud. The man who had been attacked couldn't thank her enough and said she could have saved his life. I get that people get scared but sometimes all it takes is one person to make a difference. I always think, what if it is my son who is ever in that situation?

Although yeah, if I had my baby with me it might be a different story.

I live in fear of things like this happening to my dad who suffered a brain injury in the 90s. It actually physically hurts to think of people treating him that way.

If it ever does happen, I hope someone like you is around OP

I was stood in my garden one day and could hear some lads laughing etc. Few neighbours were looking towards the sound disapprovingly but said nothing.I looked over to see them emptying the wheelie bins on the grass of a communal garden.This got on my wick.I opened my gate walked over to the seven teen lads and said "are you going to pick all that up now?"They gave a few scowls said nothing so i said " Do you think it is ok to pour litter everywhere and then expect someone else to tidy it up after you?I suggest you pick it up NOW or bugger off immediately" They did it.I was quite proud of myself,its not my grass area but the people who live there have to put up with these lads dumping crap there all the time and I thought no,enoughs enough.Felt like an adult then,im the youngest on our street yet I was the only one to tackle them.

Well done LimitedEditionLady

I am sure they aren't bad lads and that is why they eventually picked the litter up. Sometimes in a group they get carried away. I hope they will think twice now after you had a word with them and made them realise that what they did was wrong.

This thread reminds me of an incident when I was teenager. I was on a bus and there was a man sitting in front of me who was drinking and was clearly drunk. Anyways he got up and then sat next to me and started groping me and making suggestive remarks to me. I remember trying to push him away but he just kept pushing in closer and was groping my breasts and trying to grab my butt. This was on a half full bus and there were other people sitting close and could actually see what was happening. A few of them were looking right at us but not one person said anything.

Then as we were approaching my stop I tried to get out but he wouldn't let me. I was close to tears and was actually begging him to just let go of me but again nobody did anything.

YANBU OP. I would have said something too.

I've done this before with a bunch of teens, drinking on the back of the bus. Swearing, talking about fucking this girl and that girl, discussing allsorts very loudly and loving the tutus they were getting from the other passengers.
But I had dd with me who was then aged about 7 and I couldn't help but give them a talking to and a short lesson on what real men were like, not Gould mouthed drunken oafs,

Other passengers, probably 50% muttered yeah, well said etc in agreement and the his went quiet.

When we all got off at the station they hurled a load of abuse at me at which point the other passengers turned on the driver demanding to know why he hadn't intervened and thrown them off the bus.

He claimed not to have been aware but I think he was frightened. Understandably. I got to go home and he had to keep driving around in the dark opening his doors to everyone.

People didn't say anything because they were frightened. But you did the right thing :-)

Appalling autocorrect errors. Sorry :-(

Bystander effect.

well none OP. Shame you had no back up.

sorry well done I mean