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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go to the GCSE revision evening for parents?

55 replies

CrappyDiem · 21/11/2013 18:59

  1. I went 2 years ago.
  1. It's not me that needs to revise.
  1. D2 is highly unlikely to do any revising ever, whether I know what she should be doing or not.
  1. If I suggest what she should do she will break things, possibly me.
  1. I'm very tired and in need of wine.
  1. There's something wrong with my eyes and it's all blurry soI shoudn't drive.
  1. I truly can't be arsed.
OP posts:
Original poster
CrappyDiem · 21/11/2013 20:19

and I still can't see the point in revision evenings for parents. If a parent is interested and supportive they will already have looked into the exam board guidelines and will encourage the pupil to revise. Those are the ones that will turn up at the parents evening. the ones that don't give a shit about it won't go anyway.

OP posts:
BettyBotter · 21/11/2013 20:23

YANBU.

Enjoy Wine

themaltesefalcon · 21/11/2013 20:26

the ones that don't give a shit about it won't go anyway.

And you're happy to be of their number?

Original poster
CrappyDiem · 21/11/2013 20:28

not happy no. hence my dilemma. but this evening it is unavoidable.

OP posts:
themaltesefalcon · 21/11/2013 20:30

What do you want?

Us to tell you you're out of order so you can feel sorrier for yourself and hit the wine even harder?

Your poor DD.

I'm off, this thread is one of the most depressing I've seen on here.

Bunbaker · 21/11/2013 20:32

Just re-read your initial post. If you are very tired and have blurry eyes please make an appointment to see your GP asap.

Phineyj · 21/11/2013 20:37

Are you taking the GCSEs? No? Then YANBU. You can't make someone else revise. All you can do is try your best to create the conditions in which some may get done.

Besides, even if you could revise for her, are you going to revise for her A levels...her degree?

Will she listen to her older sibling if she doesn't listen to you?

Original poster
CrappyDiem · 21/11/2013 20:37

maltese - you are quite welcome to give it a try if you can do better. it is indeed bloody depressing to know your child is capable and predicted As but actually gets Gs and Us in mocks no matter how hard you work with it.

OP posts:
froubylou · 21/11/2013 20:39

Enjoy your wine. See her tutor separately. I can't see that the session will help her or you. I know very little about sn but assume from what you have said that it won't benefit anyone you being there.

It sounds as though you have had a rough week. Are you off today and tomorrow? Get yourself checked out.

capsium · 21/11/2013 20:42

Don't worry. Don't go if you don't want to. There are plenty of revision tips in circulation, on the net for example. Schools are not the only source of information, no matter what some would have you think.

You're having a meeting with her teacher. Any questions can be dealt with then.

SparklyFucker · 21/11/2013 20:45

Maltese are you reading the same thread?! I've rarely seen anything so heartless and willfully ignorant in response to an OP before.

Carpe - go to bed, get your head down for the night. Take another look at it all tomorrow. Right now you are ill and you need to take care of yourself. Ignore Maltese, she's being goady.

ExBrightonBell · 21/11/2013 20:54

Don't go and don't worry about it. You can contact the school and ask for anything you need later. It's not as simple as "good parents attend/shit parents don't" - there are lots of reasons why parents might not attend. A good school should make all the blurb available online for exactly that reason.

You sound really ground down in your OP - understandable given what you've explained about your DD. Does the school have a decent SENCO? Have they offered any support for your DD's specific needs around exams?

ocelot41 · 21/11/2013 20:55

YANBU. Chill. Feet up.Drink wine. Sleeeeeep. Feel Better. Then think about how best to support DD. Sounds like a generic evening not best suited to addressing this quite specific SEN situation. Ignore judgy pants types. You will be better able to work out what to do when you aren't exhausted.

Vatta · 21/11/2013 21:25

I hadnt realised that these days parents are expected to do this kind of thing, didn't happen in my day (now feeling very old!)

OP, ignore judgey posts above, dealing with a problem like aspergers in the family is very tough (my brother has aspergers, so some experience of this).

Given her problems, I don't think a generic parents evening would be helpful anyway, hopefully you can speak to her tutor next week.

NoComet · 21/11/2013 21:28

YANBU
I completely forgot our year 10 parents GCSE evening, from reading the slides it didn't look exciting. (and I'm normally a terribly good parent at attending things).

I have a totally NT, but unbelievably suborn Y8, I pray she continues to want to do well at school because no intervention from me will have any effect if she doesn't.

Chill, wine, GP if eyes don't calm down with a good nights sleep.

Then arrange a meeting with the school senco. If your DD is an A grade student she should be able to get passable grades even if she doesn't do a huge amount of HW or revision, so long as she has been in the lessons.

You need a plan to make sure she keeps going to school and you need all her teachers on side (always the difficult bit).

Does your DD know what she wants to do? Having something to aim at really helps.

PolterWho · 21/11/2013 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sonnet · 21/11/2013 22:02

Sending you sympathy. Don't be too hard on yourself. No one can comment unfavourably I you unless they have been in your situation. 15 years no wonder you are worn down

lljkk · 21/11/2013 22:11

I couldn't go, I think I'm in the "they'll sink or swim" camp by that age. And I don't even have SN to deal with (probably).

Llareggub · 21/11/2013 22:21

Given what you've said, I wouldn't go either.

aslongasheneedsme · 21/11/2013 22:21

Don't beat yourself up about thks. I worked with 11 to16 year olds with Aspergers for 11 years. Homework and revision were total no go areas. School is school and home is not for school work. If her school is half decent they will understand. We did, and built time for extra catch up and revision into timetables

Defnotsupergirl · 22/11/2013 02:43

Wish I could give you a real hug rather than just a virtual one as you sound like you need it..... Listening to the school bleating for a couple of hours about educationally typical children was not going to help really was it? - don't beat yourself up about it. Once rested how about making an appointment first with the doc to see if there are any practical medical solutions / assistance to help you both through this and then your daughters teachers to see if they can help both of you in any way.

Ericaequites · 22/11/2013 03:03

I have Aspergers, but worked like a dog in school because I was terribly competitive. My folks expected I would work, and work I did. If I didn't work, I was in trouble at home. I was forty before I was diagnosed.
By fifteen, young people can't be made to study. Habits need to be formed early.

MrsWembley · 22/11/2013 03:50

YWNBU.

Ignore the judgy fuckers who, quite frankly and quite sadly, sound like they have never had to worry about things like this and have it so fucking perfect all the fucking time that they should not even dream of preaching their holier than thou attitude to someone who, genuinely, just needs a quick {{{hug}}}, a Wine and a chat about some bollocks or other that can just take your mind off things like this.

I expect you're asleep right now (lucky cowGrin) but in the morning you're going to be wracked with guilt. Well, don't be. On phone, so apologies but I can't remember who said it, the poster who said her parents were never asked to do this sort of thing, well that's me too. By this age the best thing you can do is give support when you are asked for it. I know how I would have been if my DM had done anymore than she did!Grin

lizardqueenie · 22/11/2013 04:00

Carpe - read your posts and putting the revision to one side for a min- please make an appointment to get your eyes looked at pronto. Not sure if you mean blurry in a conjunctivitis kind of way or blurry in another way but eyes can tell a lot so please go & get checked out. that's my nagging done for this hour

intitgrand · 22/11/2013 05:09

i wouldn t go either.they will have covered everything she needs to know about revision in scnool many times.do parents really get involbed in their kids revision.i can't think of a more certain way to turn a student off than the parents taking control