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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teenager wants to go to reading music festival

108 replies

Reynolia · 21/11/2013 15:27

My 16yr daughter wants to go to Reading music festival with a small group of her friends in the summer. Apart from the cost (£200) I am uncomfortable with the idea of her being there without any adult supervision. She thinks I'm being unreasonable and tells me loads of girls from her school go each year and to quote her ' have the best time of their lives'. I have voiced my concerns about drunkenness , drugs, sex and she scoffs at me and says she doesn't get involved with this sort of thing. I do trust her in this respect, but still very worried as i am fully aware that this sort of thing goes on.Does anyone have any experience of their children going to music festivals (especially Reading) at this age. I'd really like some input.

OP posts:
ipadquietly · 22/11/2013 23:43

OMG! I feel like a bad parent. Ds went at 16 and picked up GCSE results on the way. I have no idea what they got up to, but all of them got back safely. I've never heard of any deaths at Reading! They're just a load of young people enjoying themselves. In the real world they're going to be exposed to drugs and drink anyway.

I think £200-300 to see a number of big name bands is excellent value!

maddy68 · 22/11/2013 23:58

It is a great time. Seriously. But until you have no idea what goes on nowadays. Makes ya hair curl

Bloody fabulous though!

Punkatheart · 23/11/2013 09:15

I think it's good value too and I still grin when I think of me, a middle-aged woman, hip hop bouncing to Eminem. Loved every minute of it. It does help too that I live close to the campsite. My daughter came home every day for breakfast and a shower!

teacher123 · 23/11/2013 10:01

I live near Reading and all the teenagers I used to teach went every year (and if I was really unlucky they'd occasionally show me some photos!) they were all fine and these were pretty pampered/not remotely streetwise private school kids and nothing bad ever happened to them! Don't let them take smartphones or anything remotely valuable.

cq · 23/11/2013 10:15

I would advise picking her up on the Sunday night. That's when things start to get ugly - setting fire to tents and pushing the portaloos over. Nice.

Other than that, it's all the experiences she could be having in her home town, but magnified a thousand times.

DrHolmes · 23/11/2013 10:20

Not read replies but...I went when i was 16. I had travelled to visit my aunty and uncle and we went to visit their neighbours. The cousin of the neighbours kids was there and mentioned going to see Metallica at reading festival. I was a HUGE fan and begged to go. My aunty called my mum, who allowed me to go, and off i went with the neighbours cousin who i didn't know and had a ball! We met up with his friends and had a great time. Infact I think i went the next day too! Let her go!

She will be fine.

ZenNudist · 23/11/2013 10:28

I wanted to go to Glastonbury when I was 16. I wasn't allowed. I had my own money to pay for it. I was Hmm but spent all weekend watching & recording it instead.

Ime if its local you could allow her to go but don't pay for it. £200 is a ridiculous amount of £ to just give a 16 yo. It's a great incentive to get her to get a job. (You could always buy the ticket up front on the provision she can buy it off you or you'll sell it online). Teach her valuable lessons about balancing school work with paid work (she will need this at uni). Plus learn value of money.

Whatever people say about she'll get up to trouble wherever its more likely she'll be able to have sex & take drugs. In 2 years she'll be able to do this anyway. It's just whether you want to give her licence todo it early and bank roll her social life?

IloveJudgeJudy · 23/11/2013 15:29

I haven't read the whole thread, but DS1 went to Reading after his GCSEs. He had a fabulous time (I don't know, nor do I want to, all the details). He is/was street-smart and had been going out and about for a long time beforehand. I knew or knew of, many of the people he was going to meet there.

I have been thinking about this. DD didn't want to go, but might want to this year. I'm not sure about her going. Not because she's a girl, but because she is a completely different person.

Only you know your own DD. Like another poster said, she would have to pay for herself. That way, you would know how determined she is to go. You need to be able to trust her. it sounds in your OP as if you do. She'll have an unforgettable time.

Poppylovescheese · 23/11/2013 16:01

I would let her go.

noddyholder · 23/11/2013 16:02

She will be fine. Its the age for festivals they really love it

sheridand · 23/11/2013 17:22

I went at that age but I paid my own way, saving up through Saturday jobs for a year! I worked there as a litter picker the following year. I was pretty sensible anyway and didn't drink, but I was REALLY into music and got to see the Pixies live ( in 1990!), which made my year. If she's going with similarly sensible friends, let her.

beyondtheplayground · 30/01/2014 11:31

I wrote about Reading 2013 here - it may be of use to anyone who lands here: magazinemum.blogspot.co.uk/2014/01/festival-first-timer.html

Eve · 06/03/2015 09:19

I know its a zombie thread, but just bought tickets last night for my 16 year DS old to go with a group of friends.

Quite a big division as to which parents will let go and which wont.

Hes a very sensible child, I am helped by reading this and will look at those blogs and forums to make sure they go to a sensible camping area!

user1484150499 · 11/01/2017 16:10

Hi this is so strange my 16 year old daughter also wants to go to Reading with some friends this summer she is away at boarding school and so therefore her argument is that we trust her not to do anything silly. I am not overly concerned that she would but it is other people and the fear of drink and drugs that is totting me, really don't know on this one!!!

FireSquirrel · 11/01/2017 16:46

She is 16 not 6 and it's a heavily policed and staffed music festival, not an illegal rave. She'll be fine ffs. You'll do her no favours keeping her wrapped in cotton wool while her friends are out exploring the world, and she won't learn to make good choices if she isn't allowed to make her own choices.

FireSquirrel · 11/01/2017 16:52

Whoops, zombie thread, sorry.

TheHandmaidsTale · 11/01/2017 17:50

I went at 16 and had the time of my life. Got drunk yes, but no drugs. In contrast my sister went at 16 and hated it as she was surrounded by idiots and drugs. She had just seen a family member have a breakdown due to drugs though (outside of festival).

It depends what she is like. Make sure she knows she can come back whenever but id let her go.

patricia1979 · 03/03/2017 21:53

I'm with you Reynolia!, My daughter who will be 16 in May is going this year with a group of school friends and I'm already fretting about it. There's no question that they will get their hands on alcohol despite their age. Ideally I'd prefer it if she was 1 year older. I took her and her friend last year and whilst I did feel it was safer than I had envisaged - I think they just like the camping experience and the music, I did see a few very drunk girls who had to be looked after by security. Whilst I'm in 2 minds about it you can be reassured a little that it really is a young crowd. I do sympathise though!! I've even considered going again but being invisible if you know what I mean. Then if anything does happen at least I'm close by. Maybe all the worried mums should get together and go too!

laurzj82 · 03/03/2017 22:03

I would let her go. Couldn't believe it at the time but my parents let me go to a festival in year 11. I had a great time, no sex, alcohol or drugs involved. But I would make her work for it as it is a lot of money.

ThisAintALoveSong · 03/03/2017 22:23

I went to Leeds at 17. Yes it can be sex, drugs and rock n roll and all that, but to be honest I just went for the bands. I went with my then-boyfriend, my brother and all my brothers mates. So basically me and a group of guys camping in tents really.

Luckily my mum trusted me and my bro. And she had every reason to, we were never the drugs sort of people and she liked and trusted my then-boyfriend that I wouldn't end up pregnant (I didn't).

The people that are gonna do drugs there are the ones who go looking for it. I can't say for sure if times have changed since I went in 2003 (doubt it) but if you're daughter is smart and trustworthy she will steer away from the dodgier side of what is essentially a fantastic weekend experience

Whathaveilost · 03/03/2017 22:44

I went to Reading festival when I was 16,.......in 1981!
I went on the back of my 19 years old boyfriends motorbike for the 200 mile journey!

We had a great time, I did drink a bit but we met up with some friends and it was amazing.
My lads have been going to festivals ( the big ones, I can't remember which) with their gang of friends both male and female and they come back tired but with loads of funny stories!
( they've got bored with my festival stories though)

palomapaloma · 04/03/2017 08:29

I went to Reading festival when I was 16. There was a group of 6 of us. I think it really depends on who she is going with as there is going to be drink, drugs, boys up for a good time etc. If you trust her and her friends to be sensible then I'd say let her go. Get her to take a small bag with valuables in to keep on her at all times. Get her and mates to arrange a meeting point if any of them get lost. I'm glad I was allowed to go and had a blast even though our tent got flooded, had about 7 hours sleep over the whole weekend and missed our train home! This was 17 years ago btw Smile

MrsSkeffington · 04/03/2017 08:38

I just booked my reading ticket at 16 and then appeared with it lol!

Wonderwoman69 · 12/03/2019 01:49

Hi . My son wants to go to Reading festival but he has be drug before & very worried that this will happen again , should I let him go.?

DoubleDaffodil · 22/03/2019 20:09

I am having the same fears @Wonderwoman69.