to ask you to tell all about your bad guest staying at your house stories ?

[thisfoofooisallmine]

It has been ages we didn't have one and I'm sorry I can't wait for after Christmas ! I'm sure you had guest who stayed with you recently who were big piss takers, they ate all your food and didn't even bring a bottle of wine with them or they brought pizzas but wanted to charge you for it....

Please make me happy, I never ask anything ! This topic always put a smile on my face

My friend invited herself round one night years ago, (in our early 20s) then crashed on our sofa.

My dh was not happy to bump into the police on our doorstep asking for her on his way to work the next morning!
What I didn't know was she had a massive row with them 2 days before and had been flitting between friends, they were worried sick about her and guessed she might be at mine. Cow

*had a massive row with her parents

Similar to Lulu

Friend brought her new boyfriend round one night and they were staying over. Whilst DP and I were asleep they had a massive row and he stormed out and slept in his car. However he then proceeded to smash up his car and when the police were called he argued with them. He was arrested, the police woke us up to let us know. DP is a solicitor so went with our friend (after ironing a shirt and putting on his suit) to the police station. I then had to clear up all the glass from the windows he smashed in his car.

Unfortunately smashing up his car was the first sign, luckily though is now long gone and friend has a lovely DH.

Oh yes.

Invited themselves round for the afternoon, night, and all of next day. We changed our plans to accommodate them and warned them that as we'd been away, they should eat a main meal at lunchtime before they arrived as we would only have food for light supper but would do proper lunch next day. Arrived late and unapologetic. Hype children. Broke DD's Christmas present. Spilt drink over our sofa and denied it (cost us £80 to get cleaned) despite being only person in room at the time. Complained about food offered as "only had a salad at lunchtime", we ended up cooking stuff from freezer at 10pm. Then announced leaving first thing next morning, leaving us with a freezer load of food we'd bought for the next day and the inlaws coming for the day, who'd invited themselves round too when they heard said visitors were coming.

NEVER A-FVCKING-GAIN.

I can't bear people who invite themselves/outstay their welcome

Scrounger - I'm glad your friend has now a lovely dh

We've never had terrible house guests, but the ones who want to stay up late, when you're subtly brushing your teeth in your pyjamas and yawning and saying "well now I'm off to bed" and they suggest getting the Monopoly board out or watching a film or something...

We had a few friends round one night. Drinks and chit chat sort of affair.

Everyone left at about 11-12 apart from ONE friend. He stayed until about 2 waffling on about utter nonsense. When myself and DP hinted at being tired (I even got into my pjs at one point) he regaled us with examples of times he'd gone to work the next day on 2 hours sleep, he'd gone to college after staying up all night gaming, blah blah blah, and if he could do it then we could too sort of thing.

He's no longer invited to things unless the general idea is to stay up that late.

We also have another one who leaves rubbish everywhere. He sat next to the small bin we have in the living room and plonked his Jaffa cake box and pop bottle on the floor and then snorted derisively when I politely informed him (at the end of my tether) that he was right next to the bin.

Ooh another one!

One of my friends this time, not DPs. Every time she comes round she takes my fags without asking. The most recent time I noticed she was smoking her own and thought it would be safe to smoke one of mine because hey, if she's got some she won't want mine right? Wrong. "Sharing is caring" apparently. I had bought them with my last scraped together bit of shrapnel(only managed a 10-pack) and when I said this to her she said I had more money than she does. I don't. Not even our combined wages match hers and she still lives with her parents. I've also lost that packet in the back of her car, and when I noticed they were missing she went "well if they're in my car they're mine now". Jolly good.

My cousin once got so pissed in our local I brought her back to mine for her own safety. Phoned my ma to let her know where she was so she could let my auntie know not to worry. Said I would put cousin in dds bed for the night.

My dm suggested I didn't and put her in a taxi and sent her home. Said I couldn't as she was sparko on kitchen floor in recovery position. Dm cheered up and said just chuck a dog blanket over her and leave her their.

Thought it was a bit odd until I went in to check on her and the floor was wet. Mopped up and went for blanket. Turned around and another puddle was forming.

Turns out when cousin gets drunk she damps down for the night.

Dp still calls her puddles now.

oh yes. I have the cousins who came for three nights and stayed for three weeks. The 15 yr old boy stayed in his room most of the time (glorious summer in the UK, he is from 3,000 miles away and had never left his country before - what a waste that was) playing world of warcraft. His room was directly above the telly room & on the last night we were treated to the sound of repeated fast paced vigorous banging coming through the ceiling.

Then there was the sister in law who invites herself plus family on an annual basis and is an utter princess. This year she waltzed downstairs at 11am (everyone else up since 7) asking for shower gel because she'd finished the Jo Malone. MY JO MALONE.

I had one once...she was supposed to stay for 4 days, she stayed the week...not once, she offered to cook dinner, clean dishes after said dinner, at the end of her stay, she bought dinner, the tinniest pizza you could imagine for 3 adults and 2 children. She will never come again

'Twas the night of the Great Storm of '87.... really. My then DH's alcoholic DSis had invited herself to stay. We all popped to a nearby branch of the supermarket I worked for to get a few groceries and, because we'd cleared the place of alcohol, a pleasant but wine-free dinner followed. Next day after she left I found two empty own-label scotch bottles tucked down the side of the bed. She'd stolen them while I'd been with her and if she'd been caught, I'd have probably lost my job.

My cousin came to stay from the States recently with his new girlfriend. They were staying a week so we bought food in accordingly. The girlfriend refused to eat a thing (DH is a fantastic cook - not that she had a chance to judge as not a morsel crossed her lips). We asked what she might like if she didn't fancy what we had planned but she wouldn't answer. She wouldn't even eat the fruit we had bought in, instead sending my cousin out every night after dinner to buy ready prepared fruit from the local supermarket.

I should point out that our kitchen is clean etc.!

When they left we found 30+ empty bottles of water and loads of McDonalds bags just strewn on the floor of the guest room and bathroom

We stayed with them in America a few months later and discovered that they eat takeaways or eat out every night - guests or not, so it isn't just us. Their lovely, huge kitchen stores the water bottles and fruit juice...

Dp has a friend who used to piss everywhere but the toilet bowl, the seat would be wet and there would be a big puddle next to the toilet. He would piss a few times an hour as well because he was always drinking beer. Having enough of dp failing to deal with it, I stood outside the bathroom waiting for him with cleaning products and made him clean up his mess, standing over him to make sure he did a good job. He hasn't been to our house since.

I once cancelled my early evening plans when a friend who I hadn't seen in a while rang me claiming she was dying to see me, she told me she'd be bringing her baby with her which was fine. I told her I was around until nine thirty, then I had to go out. I was a bit pissed off when she turned up with her dickhead boyfriend as well but decided to play nice. She claimed they were so exhausted...would I mind looking after the baby for an hour while they went for a drink? Really unimpressed by this stage but thought, ah it's only an hour, they probably don't get too much time with the baby. They'll be back by six.....
Nine thirty, I'm sitting there like an eejit when I'm supposed to be meeting other friends in the pub. They're not answering my phone calls and I can't leave the baby alone or take him with me, so I'm stuck there. Until 12.30, when they decide to rock up to my door, drunk and carrying smelly takeaway. I contemplated not letting them in but I wasn't going to throw the baby out onto the streets with them and didn't want to risk having to change a shitty napppy (childfree days) so let them sleep in the spare room with the order to be gone before I got up. I never answered her calls again. Obnoxious cunt.

Right. Where do I start?

Get home from dog walk on Sunday afternoon to answer phone message from BIL. He's at our local airport (having flown from home at other end of country) with his two wild boys and requests a pick up. He's not due for another week and my DH works away during the week, so is off to work that evening.

DH picks them up (what can we do?) and the guests arrive. No apology, just 'thought I'd come early'. ONE WEEK? I have 3 kids, a small holding, a PT job and 3 dogs and I find myself house drudge for the week. He buys no food and his kids won't eat what mine do (ie they live on sugar/crisps diet it appeared). He tells me each day what they'll eat and I end up doing 3 separate meals each meal. Sure, I sound like a doormat, but he's going through bad separation, so DH (by remote ) asks if I'll indulge.

By day 3, having requisitioned one of our cars and broken the wing mirror, I ask how long they're staying (no clue as yet). TWO WEEKS. TWO WEEKS. And his mad, alcoholic ex-partner is coming for the second week (I only get this info because 6 year old son tells my 9 year old)... How effed up? My DH takes time off work (very difficult as works in busy environment) or I say I'm taking the kids to stay anywhere else!

Week 2 no better and ex arrives. Very rude, very tense and it's awful!!

Honestly, I could bore you for pages, but suffice to say he never filled the car with fuel, never paid for the car damage, never bought any food, let his kids run riot, while I have to get mine out of the house by 0830 for school. His kids damaged lots in the house and there was never a word (I instilled some discipline, which was frowned upon by ex-partner).

He's my DH's only sibling and the boys thus the only cousins, but never again.

Apparently he's intending to come next summer. Not as long as there's breath in my drained body.

By the way, he'd said he was staying for a weekend when we arranged.

Nothing too bad, but DP agreed that a friend could stay with us for a week or two when he got a new job.

It turns out this was to be at about the same time that I went back to work f/t after maternity leave. Friend stayed for 3 weeks. He'd registered on ONE sodding flat-hunting site (this was for London). I was exhausted and stressed and didn't want to spend my evenings amusing someone who is more DP's friend than mine. I thought he was never going to move out.

But the above might have been ok if this man had any idea about sharing with people - but he didn't. He'd lived on his own for years. The noise he made, good god. He used to do the ironing (squeak squeak, crash, bang, steeeeeeam, thump, squeak) at 11 at night. It didn't matter how many times we explained to him we had an 8mo in the house and so none of the bedroom doors were properly closed.

I didn't enjoy that visit!

An acquaintance invited himself round for dinner and then kept having a dig at the fact that the DCs were up and about in the evening - to the point of implying that we were unfit parents damaging their health (DCs wake up at 7:30 am and have lights out at 9). Bollocks to that - we weren't prepared to shove them upstairs just because he had nothing better to do with his evening.

Sons girlfriend stayed over. Barely uttered a word the whole week or even came out his room. At first I thought she was just shy. Not shy enough to plaster my bathroom tiles with hair dye and leave a used sanitary towel on the side of the bath.

Wow, all of these make my sil pale into insignificance!

This is why we never have anyone to stay! (Not just cos I'm antisocial and can't deal with people for at least an hour after getting up!)

I have hundreds. But one I do not think I have told before concerns a couple, friends of DH's parents who invited themselves to stay for a few days as a stopping point when they were on their way to somewhere else. They were briefly following a raw food diet, and deposited a load of raw fruit and veg and mountains of salad leaves into my kitchen sink. Every time I moved it (so I could, for example, wash the dishes or fill the kettle) they would move it back and huff noisily. In the few days they were with us the wife criticised my house, my housekeeping, my garden, the training of our dogs and suggested that we dig out the floor of our front room to put in a swimming pool. (wtaf). They did not offer us a single thing to say thank you for the room, and left behind mouldering bendy vegetables when they left.

My cousin is a little tearaway to say the least, last year she needed a place to stay for a couple of nights so i said ok but im working from home so i wobt be able to do much with you, the 1st night was fine, the next morning she decided she was bored, went to the local shop to get alcohol, by ( i kid you not) 9.30Am she was steaming, singing drunkenly and smashing bottles in the car park below our house, she was trying to get my attention but i thought it was best to ignore her, she comes in a little while later saying she had met some new friends and was going to theres, so a few hours later she waltzes in in a pair of jeans and a ripped bra... i panicced and was about to go into a massive rant when this massive bloke came to our door, luckily it was the police, they had followed her through town as she had stolen a bread bun from the local chippy and was pucking fights with moving cars on the main road. She started abusing the police officer and female colleague and they took her away. The next morning id gone out and my dp said cousin had called and asked for our full address AND HE GAVE HER IT! Not realising shed used our address as a bail adress and would be turning up soon! When she turned up i made her dad come and fetch her haha, she is now banned from this house and blames my dp hahaha!!

This sounds pretty bad, but looking back we coped pretty well.

When we lived in SIL and BIL visited. They had a great time, we had a great time, they asked to come again in the summer. We said yes.

Next summer, DSD and her friend are coming for 4 weeks (Aug). All booked and paid for. In July SIL phones all excited and says she's booked tickets for 2 weeks. The same time as DSD.... Neither tickets can be changed. We tell SIL and BIL they will have to camp down in the living room (we have 3 bedrooms), but not to worry. SIL then says that DNeice and DNephew are also coming.

We end up with DSD and friend in spare room. DD in with us. DNephew in DD's room. DNeice in living room and DSIL and DBIL in a tent in the garden.

They eat us out of house and home and the 4 teens argue ALL.THE.TIME. DNephew doesnt want to get out of bed, then doesn't want to wear sun screen, then doesn't want to eat anything but crap. DNeice wants to get drunk every night. DSD and Dfriend take hours to get ready every morning, full hair and make-up no matter what they are doing (waterpark, beach, garden).

Thankfully I am at work every morning, but not so thankfully is the fact that my day starts at 0530 so I want to be in bed, asleep by 9. Doesn't happen. DH starts drinking, heavily. DD regresses and pees our bed a number of times.

I cried when DSIL and BIL left - tears of joy!

(But we never fell out, still love them to bits. It wasa just the longest 2 weeks of my life)