and pushy or is teacher failing dd?

[Mingnion]

Dd is six. Without sounding braggy, she's bright and could write and do sums and read basic books before beginning school. I like her school and she enjoys it but I don't feel they do enough to encourage the children to learn. For example, dds reading book is about five times easier than the books she reads at home and is rarely swapped more than once per week, though it was stated at the beginning of term it'd be swapped three times per week minimum or more if book was read sooner. We were told they'd have a spelling test every Monday and dd always knows them for the Monday but sometimes the teacher doesn't do the test until Thursday/Friday. I appreciate that if the child knows the spellings it shouldn't matter when the test is but the delay between tests means they're actually only getting six spellings every two weeks or so which I don't think is enough, plus dd feels unmotivated when the test isn't when the teacher said it'll be. After the test there is no record sent home of any mistakes so I cannot praise dd/revise any mistakes. Dd is, at the moment, really enthusiastic about learning. Every night she wants to do half hour of a maths workbook, read to me, research history/geography info on the internet etc. But she comes home from school not really having learned anything. Aibu to think dds teacher should be a bit more on the ball when it comes to reading books/spellings and encourage dds enthusiasm rather than ignore it?

Ds1 was a naturally early reader - by which I mean he learned pretty much autonomously by asking about letters and letter patterns. When he started school he was assessed with a 'mechanical' reading age of 12 thou obviously not so advanced in subtleties of comprehension.

His teachers have challenged him by:

• Good phonics teaching to help where his memory/unfamiliarity with words might stop him reading a whole text.

• He does guided reading with a year group 3 years ahead (is in year 3, reads with year 6). Initially was concerned about exit strategy when that cohort goes on to secondary, but gradually readers in his class are now of a similar ability and he can have more meaningful guided reading in his own year group.

• One to one reading once a week with SENCO. At the moment they're reading lots of comics it seems - means he's got really into making comics at home. I say once a week, but sometimes more like fortnightly as the SENCO is time-constrained and has, frankly and nderstandably, bigger fish to fry.

• Improving his writing ability/handwriting to compensate as much as possible for the disparity between reading/writing.

• Good work in maths to try and address spiky profile where verbal scores massively disparate with non-verbal.

Generally he was academically able when he started school but relatively emotionally/socially immature. We've always seen primary school as actually not just being about academics, but about so much more. So am actually probably more pleased/proud about the ways he's learned to make friends, do physical things, hold a pen, play games, have small talk with friends, go on school trips, become more confident with adults and so on than about SATS levels. Though in the 3 years he's been there his maths/writing has improved heaps and I would say he's more well-rounded in that respect.

Our school also did away with spelling tests. Ds1 is naturally good at spelling. Some people are. The tests seemed to serve little point as a sit down full class activity since the same children each week would feel rubbish about themselves. Better to target in a less pressured way the children who struggle with spelling to teach them ways of improving their spelling IMO.

Books were never changed often enough in the classroom to keep up with ds's reading. We have loads of books at home and go to the library and these are the books he tends to take in and read or read at home.

To be honest your DD sounds like she's doing excellently so I don't think you need to worry. However my Y1 DD is allowed to change her reading book every day if she wants to (usually it's changed 3-4 times per week) so I think that is a legitimate issue to raise with the teacher. You might get a fairer reception on the primary ed board rather than AIBU :)

I don't think you are unreasonable at all. It isn't pushy to want/expect your children to actually learn stuff at school and for some children the fact that they feel they aren't learning anything at school can be a big turn-off.
I moved my dd2 from a cr*p school to the one where she is now. She has learned a massive amount in the time she has been at the new school and is really happy there, too. The two things aren't mutually exclusive. If you aren't happy with the school, look into the possibility of moving her. It really isn't that big a deal - both of my children have done this (for different reasons) and it has always led to an improvement.

Why don't you ask to see your daughter's teacher to discuss your concerns? I did this regarding my dd2 - and the meeting only confirmed my fears. She wasn't learning much and her work showed no sign of progress, although the teacher agreed with my assessment, she didn't seem at all concerned by this fact.
You, however, may have a different outcome.

Are you on the wait list for the other school OP?

I don't think YABU at all. I believe a school should try to stretch children and develop their learning as best as they can. Obviously, at certain schools, this is not always done - children are left to coast, aren't stretched and don't develop their potential.

Would changing schools/going private be an option? I was super-bright as a child and was stretched by going to private school. I remember, aged four, learning multiplications all the way up to the 12 times table. The school grasped that I was bright and challenged me.

Would you be ok with the teacher questioning you on your parenting based on what your dd says about you?

Would you be ok with the teacher questioning you on your parenting based on what your dd says about you?

So what do you suggest the OP does? Ignore what her dd is telling her? Ignore the fact that she can evidently see that the reading book has not been changed all week? Continue to brood on concerns by not mentioning them when they could be possibly be easily clarified / cleared up by discussing it together?

I have gone to my child's teachers numerous times over the years when my children have raised things that I find concerning or I am unsure about the accuracy of something. Some of the teachers have been very defensive and unpleasant, however, most of the teachers have been receptive and open and willing to discuss matters and reach a healthy outcome. In my experience the teachers who have been open and receptive have been by far the better teachers. Sometimes the message home from my child has been not entirely accurate, but by discussing it with the teacher we can usually work out why an incorrect understanding has been arrived at.

CailinDana - 'Would you be ok with the teacher questioning you on your parenting based on what your dd says about you?' Well yes, actually. If DD was telling her I was neglecting my parental duties I'd be fine with her bringing it up with me.

Do you realise that 'guided reading' involves reading to a teacher or TA (usually in a group)? I'd say that counts as being heard reading.

It was a genuine question norude. IMO if the parent is willing to field questions about their parenting then it's likely they will approach the teacher in a respectful way and accept that even if it appears rhat the teacher isn't on the ball that might not be the case (just as a parent might seem neglectful when they're not). Generally it's only parents who think they know it all that are horrific to deal with.

No, in DD's case, it involves reading to a student from the local college as the teacher and qualified TA's focus on the children who are struggling.

Callindana - ok, I clearly misunderstood the tone of your post. Apologies.
FWIW - I think parents should always approach these things in a respectful, non accusatory way. I also think that it is often very difficult for some parents to approach teachers as they don't want the teacher to feel attacked or accused. It's a tricky balance, but a good teacher will be open and receptive and ensure that the parent feels she is approachable. Those kind of teachers are worth their weight in gold.

She is still being listened to though. I can completely understand the teacher and TA working with those that are struggling. Doesn't that make sense?

When I was an unqualified parent helper, I very often listened to children read and it was usually those who had no problems with their reading.

Now that I am qualified, I read with those children who need help or have Spld because they need more help so they can achieve.

Schools just do not have the staff and resources these days. Your dd is doing well.

When my dd finished her work she would go and help anyone in her class who was struggling - she wasn't asked to, she did it so she didn't get bored.

My DC are very advanced in Maths ~ daughter in Year 7 will not have to do Maths at secondary school as has already sat and passed the Maths exams independently.

I send them to school to learn how to socialise as they are most definitely not challenged there. The classes are 30+ and the teacher spends time with those that have SN or are struggling, leaving the average children or high achievers to get on with it. Not ideal, but what can you do? They learn Maths and English when they come home instead.

They are happy at school and have lots of friends. If you want them to be challenged more I think you have to take time to do it yourself as the teachers in busy, full to capacity state schools don't have the time to do this, much as they may want to......

YouTheCat - Yes it does make sense that the teachers and TAs help the struggling children. However, the student or parent helpers do not have the authority to move a child up a level, nor do my comments on the comment card that DD has read the book months earlier, or in under a minute warrant moving up ergo DD is bored.

loveandsmiles - I appreciate they might not have the time to do it themselves which is why I think the least they could do is give reading books/set homework which challenges her for me to do with her.

They don't have that authority but they do have the capacity to tell the teacher when they think a child is ready.

If you are concerned, make an appointment with the teacher to discuss moving your dd up a band. They will usually be working to a set criteria and if your dd hasn't yet met that then she won't have moved up.

What band is she on?

I have no idea YouTheCat, they have coloured boxes with numbers with don't seem to correspond to anything. One day she'll bring home a 'green 5' book, the next an 'orange 3' then a 'purple 4' and so on. It doesn't seem to correspond to the ORT which we have read at home. Agreed they should tell the teacher when they think a child is ready but they aren't doing so with DD unfortunately. I have discussed it with her teacher already and took in a book to show her the level DD is reading at home. She moved her up one band but it still doesn't compare to her ability remotely. She can read the book, practically recite, answer all comprehension questions, read in the correct tone and so on - I don't understand what other criteria there is that she isn't meeting? Apologies if I'm being dim here

Orange is the next after green. She seems to have skipped turquoise and gone from orange to purple. So it would seem she has moved up a few bands actually.

Maybe your dd just has a cr*p teacher.

Were things better in reception?

I can completely understand the teacher and TA working with those that are struggling. Doesn't that make sense?

Does an able child not deserve the same level of input?
Surely every child deserves an equal level of input from the teacher in order to progress properly.

Yes but it is not always possible. I'd expect a more able child to be able to listen to instructions and then complete work independently, mainly.

The less able or children with additional needs may well require an adult to keep them on task (especially in year 1/2) and so will require more input. They might also need instructions broken down into more manageable chunks and need help to write.

Why would you use resources to help a child who is doing very well in their task on their own when other children actually need the help?