I'm getting so super fucked off with step MIL... WIBU to say something?

[HarderToKidnap]

FIL has a long term girlfriend. They moved in together in April, sold his house and bought a new one in September. Prior to this they'd been together about four years. I get on fine with her, she's a but much sometimes and a total JP, but I smile and nod my way through the drama.

FIL has two lovely cats, 10 years old. She knew the cats well before moving in, was living with them from April. They went into a cattery for five weeks whilst they moved and had some building work done. Then they asked us to look after them for four weeks as they were stressed and loosing weight in the cattery. Fine. That was beginning of October, and the return date has now been pushed back to 7th December.

Since the day we agreed to have them, she's been angling for us to keep them. Comments like, oh you'll love them really, you'll want them to stay, you won't be able to see them go etc etc. DH rang his dad last week to organise returning them, and his dad said that we "had" to have them until at least after Christmas as stepMIL is recovering from an op. DH quite sharply said that we were returning them on 7th, end of.

So now stepMIL is drama-ing it up on Facebook. She posts endless quizzes, pictures, slogans etc about how much she loves dogs, dogs are mans best friends, she is 100% a dog person, can't understand why someone would ever want cats etc, yesterday it was five status updates on the merits of dogs over cats and how she doesn't really like cats, it's been a further two this morning. This is REALLY FUCKING ME OFF. I feel like we're doing them a bloody big favour, haven't had a thank you, instead we're getting a load of PA crap on Facebook. I know that FIL has probably put his foot down and said the cats are coming back and she's acting out in this way on Facebook, she does it a lot for various issues. Stupidly, although the cats of course can't read, I feel really sorry for them! They are lovely affectionate boys and she's bitching about how much she hates them. I really want to say something to her, world war 3 will commence but at least I'll feel less fucked off. WIBU to do so?

YANBU to be fucked off with your step-MiL OP. But don't say anything to her. On the 7th of December go to their house, and give FiL his cats back. They are his responsibility, not yours and not step-MiL's.

I love cats but there's nothing wrong with not liking cats. Ask your fil if he wants to give them to a good home instead (not yours!)

Poor babies. Cats hate change. Could you trust her not to just throw them outside and leave them out in all weathers?

It is not down to the OP to trust this woman in any way. They are FiL's cats. She is FiL's partner. This is wholly FiL's responsibility to sort out.

Silly cow. Cats are obviously far better than dogs!

With the greatest of respect to the posters who are obviously cat lovers saying 'can you be sure she'll look after them' - that's obviously what she wants OP to say, so OP then crumbles and keeps them. Don't fall for it OP, hide her statuses and ignore, then take them back on the 7th as planned. FIL needs to sort the rest.

So her christmas present is sorted, keep the cats and give her 2 puppies, the ones that grow into the bounciest largest hairiest dogs.

Only joking but have to say I would not feel comfortable giving the cats back.

I'd be speaking to FIL re-iterating the importance of not re-homing longstanding faithful pets, if a partner chooses to move in, knowing that those pets are already there. It sounds like the stupid cow will be working on your FIL to re-home the poor things. And a couple of 10 year old cats will not be easy to place so may spend the rest of their lives in a cattery .

and i'd be making some PA comments back on facebook

zippey, it's fine to not like cats - just don't move in with someone who has them and then start on them to get rid!

Cats can read.

See I'd have no problem keeping the cats after pointing out how much more work is needed with keeping a dog. But would make it clear that the witch wasn't welcome at ours too distressing for the cats to see the person who abandoned them (it isn't but I'm not all that tolerant of people who behave like that 'out with the old pets to make room for the new' grrr)

Agree with others on here - her not wanting fil cats is not your problem. Hide her status' for now (or forever), return cats as already agreed and let them deal with her issues. She wants you to make it easy for her by your offering to keep. Don't do it. Presumably you'd have 2 cats or an additional 2 to any you have if that is what you wanted so it's presumptuous of her thinking you are in a position to keep just cause she doesn't want them

If she gives them back FiL may choose to rehome them,
Or
Step-MIL may grow accustomed to them and maybe even come to love them,
Or
FiL may rehome step-MiL.

But it's up to him.

What's the difference between now and the 7th. I'm assuming they are both retired ? Even if they aren't all she has to do is feed them if she can't get to a food bowl then she shouldnt be out of hospital.

I'd be torn between just turning up with them and handing them over and keeping then as she clearly doesn't want them :( poor cats. Fancy picking a girlfriend over your cats when the cats were there first there's not even a medical reason the bitch.

Some combo of what Zachary and Piano suggested would be good!

Just block her on FB so you don't have to read this shite anymore and hand them back as per the original agreement. Any carping or further delaying to be treated with Complete. And. Utter. Frost.

FIL may rehome MIL

Tell her you're worried she will set a precedent if she doesn't take them back.....

Hide her on FB - this will reduce your blood pressure enORMously.

Then tell FIL about it. Because I'd also be worried that she might do something to the cats, fail to feed, poison, something awful if she's "such a dog person" and I wouldn't want that on my conscience, frankly. But if you TELL FIL then it's up to him to deal with it - if he doesn't know about it, what can he do until it's too late?

But YABU to want to say anything - what would be the point? She's not going to care or change.

LOVING pianos idea.

Streams of cat pics with "I miss you mummy" "can't wait to come home"

Brilliant

I feel sorry for the cats. even is she doesn't actively harm them, I can't see her pandering to their every whim (as cats prefer) or even bothering to feed them.
Stern talk with FIL required I think, about her relationship with furry family.

Keep the cats and fill your Facebook status up with pictures of the cats and how cats are better than step mothers in law
I am very concerned for the cats welfare though being push from pillar to post and not really wanted by anyone

status updates on the merits of dogs over cats and how she doesn't really like cats

Can't you ask on FB why she is with someone with 2 cats if she hates them so much?

"Can't you ask on FB why she is with someone with 2 cats if she hates them so much?"

I'd like to see her response to that.

Haha!! Loving some of these ideas. Posted quite matter of factly on one of her status updates that having the cats won't preclude them from getting a dog, as the cats are quite used to dogs. No reply, and she definitely would have seen it... Just a comment from FIL beneath it saying "we will be!" (Getting a dog, he means).

Oh so he's seen all her pro-dog anti-cat posts then? Gosh. I wonder if he cares that much about them himself...